Looking to Sell my Car -- Will Deliver!

Before the heckling begins, allow me to state that I'm posting this so that others can share a laugh at how horrible my car is. If you're going to come in and say something like "You idiot no one's going to buy that POS" than you're obviously missing the point. I feel I should add: YES, this car really is for sale. Anyway, lets begin:

I am wanting to sell my 1995 Ford Mustang Convertible. Its white, and the body is in over all good condition, minus some missing paint and a few dents and dings. If white isn't exactly your color, don't fret, because you'll probably want to get it painted anyway.

It does need some work...

Today, after dropping my fiancee off in Pensacola, my front driver side tire came off while I was driving down the road. You know those things that the lug nuts screw onto? Yeah, you're going to need some new ones.

Oh, and the tires don't exactly hold air. I mean they DO, if it's hot outside... But if it's cold, you'd better have a tire pump because you'll be on your rims.

The air conditioner works really well, as does the new radio that I've recently put in. I've still got the old radio if you want it for nostalgia's sake, but I don't recommend it as the FM radio function doesn't work (AM works swimmingly, however).

The left-side speakers don't work either, but don't worry, I've adjusted the radio to play in Mono sound, so you won't be missing half of your song.

Power Windows all work, except for the back little cubby window things (the little half-windows they expect anyone in the back of the coupe to someone see through when the top is up. And actually, the driver side one works fine, but the one to the right... Well... Not so much.

It has all new airbags, black stylish pleather (plastic leather), but the air bags may or may not work... The air bag light stays on most of the time, but will flick off sometimes when you hit a bump.

You're going to need new bushings... Not quiet sure what they are or what they do -- but my mechanic say's you'll need them.

The Fuel Pump and its Sending Unit are kind of... not good. I mean, they work, basically, but you're not getting as good of gas mileage as you should.

The breaks work really nicely, despite a slight huffing noise from the vacuum booster behind the break pedal -- it's in it's death throbs, but still works great.

It has a new, black roof on it, which for the sake of up and down motion works great, although it doesn't latch in place that well and can leak a bit if you go through an automated car wash.

The front half of the car is actually from another mustang of the same make and model, but I just figured I'd tell you in case you popped the hood and noticed the weld marks.

The engine and transmission are both top-notch and work great. This car will start every single time you turn the key, guaranteed. Although, to be fair, the original, POS mustang engine that was in there overheated and the head gaskets blew out, so now you're looking at a 3.8 Liter Mazda engine and transmission -- but like I said, it works swimmingly and still gives good performance.

The wheel bearings kind of suck in the front, but considering my tire just drove away from me earlier today as I was going down the road, I'll probably have those replaced when I fix the thingies that hold the wheel on (which will be repaired tomorrow morning, all things going well). If for some reason I can't replace the wheel bearings, expect an odd thumping heart-beat like noise as you drive that will, from time to time, shake your car. The general rule of thumb, however, is that when the shaking gets so bad your drink starts to spill, you're tire is coming off.

I've still got the original Pony Rims and tires if you want to put those on it in place of the Vault Rims and tires I've got on it right now -- they hold air a lot better, but they're stored about 35 miles away from where I live, so I'm sticking with the Vault for the moment.

The headlights aren't that great. Well, actually, that's not true -- the BULBS are fantastic, the fixtures suck horribly. They're all foggy and give you almost no visibility. If you have to drive at night use your brights constantly -- trust me you won't blind anyone and no one will flash their lights at you. I do have some extra-bright halogens I was going to put in, but I figured I'd try to fix or replace the old headlight fixtures first.

New break pads -- asbestos free!

Car seems to attract lightning. Which is pretty bad because I seem to attract lightning enough without the car, but every time I'm on the interstate during a storm, somewhere near me a tree just explodes.

Cigarette lighter ports don't work. I'm sure this just comes down to an unhooked wire or fuse somewhere, but I haven't given it much thought as I don't charge anything via the cigarette lighter port.

Radio has a USB Charger port on it, which works swimmingly, but be warned, if you're charging the device you're currently listing to through the radio (ie, you're charging your MP3 player, and have it's headphone port plugged into the AUX input on the radio) you'll hear this odd tapping noise in the background. Haven't figured that one out yet.

OH! I should mention that the computer system is a bit... Ummm... Busted. It doesn't keep the car from working, mind you, but it does remove any and all electronic limitations. In other words, I can now backup at 110 Miles Per Hour. I also apparently have no top speed, or at least not one that I could reach before becoming nervous and easing off the gas.

Please don't ask me anything about the stats, because I don't know them. All I know is that right now, due to an incredibly limited budget, the car is only reaching about a quarter of its over-all potential. That means that if you had the money to baby this car and fix it up, it will treat you nicely, but if you're like me, it will stab you in the back at every chance it gets, and occasionally cast you through portals of the highway directly into automotive repair hell. But if you have the money, you'll be able to get some decent miles per gallon, speed, and comfort from this car.

As it stands however, it has no recognizable stats... It has some horse power, its gets miles per gallon on the highway and a bit less in the city, it goes 0 to 60 in seconds. That's about as specific as I can be.

It has all of its seat belts, and the dents and dings are in no way severe -- you can still spot it as a mustang from a good distance away.

The Mazda parts make it run a lot quieter than it use to, but have improved reliability a thousand fold.

The engine and transmission only have about 60k miles on them, but the body of the car is probably pushing the 280k mile mark (I don't know for sure, however, because the odometer is broken at the 197k mark).

It only has one cup holder, and the only thing that seems to fit in it is a bottle of beer. Bottled water will not fit, nor will any other plastic drinking bottle, the majority of thermoses, certain fast food cup sizes, or anything that you were really looking forward to drinking. Any cup available from Tom Thumb, however, fits perfectly. OH! And be sure to fold the cup holder back into the center console if you think you're going to have an emergency because it will stop you from reaching the emergency break.

I'll consider any bids you make. Feel free to leave them here.

UPDATE: I've gotten the tire thing fixed, and am currently waiting for weather in my area to improve enough to allow me to go get the original Ford Mustang Pony Rims put back on it (considering that the Vault Rims seem to be causing some of my problem).

 

nice car mate.

 

thanks for the laughs man, that was great.

 

Lol dude, that was funny, but is it really for sale?

 

Well, I've just gotten it back from having the tire thing fixed, and my next stop is to have the original Pony Rims put back on it, since the Vaults seem to be causing some of my problems (after-market rims not fitting snuggly, or something like that).

But yeah, I would definately consider any and all bids. The reason I'm willing to deliver is because it'd be nice to have an excuse to travel. I've got a friend who hauls cars on a flatbed for a living, so I might be talk him into letting me borrow his truck for a weekend, lol.

 

Absolutely loved that story. Reminds me a lot of my second car. I was the proud owner of a '92 Ford Taurus. This car was the devil reincarnate. Aside from the quarter window and convertible top(don't have those on a Taurus) I've had every single problem. .

LUCKILY, I am handy with cars and fixed the problems myself, and I have the roadside assistance through my cell-phone company so I never had to pay for towing. A good couple days off and a couple hundred dollars worth of parts and I was good to go until the next part.

Oh, and as for the USB charging port on the radio, take the radio back out and put a ground-loop isolator on the ground wire, the part costs about $5 and can be bought at any half-way decent car-audio store(Best Buy, sometimes wal-mart, all car-audio only stores). The thumping is affectionately called alternator whine. Its the peaks in the voltage causing feedback in the grounds used throughout the car. Also, it helps to make a new ground and clean it off good as the radio probably isn't getting a good ground anyway, which will cause some feedback as well.

Almost forgot, as for the foggy headlights... It will take quite a few applications for cars that old, probably 2-3 times a week for a couple months, but takes seconds to do. Take transmission fluid or WD-40, put some on a rag, and wipe the headlights. They will become clear as day. For good measure I always waxed the headlights once a week after applying the fluid, helps stop the film from coming back. Another good thing to do is buy some headlight buffing pads(auto parts store). They are used to take that foggy film off the headlights but are hell to use by themselves, the fluid is easiest and quickest but using the fluid then using the pads a couple times(once a week for the first couple weeks) speeds the process up and clears the headlights up as well.

I hope that helps, both are relatively cheap fixes and although won't make the car run any better, it will make it more livable while its running. Like I said, I've had plenty of experience with those problems, so I've learned little tricks along the way.

 

jcalton88, you are now my afterdawn hero. That radio thing has been bothering me for a good while now. If AD had a reputation system, I'd rep you. So for the moment, my only option is to say thanks and give you a kudos on having learned from similar miseries.

 

Lol, well thank you. I install car stereos on the side so I have learned quite a bit about them. Some cars have that problem(older cars especially) because of poor insulation around the wires and also bad grounds.

As a general rule I install a ground loop isolator on every installation just to safeguard against the problem. An extra 5 bucks stops me from having to have a return customer with a complaint, causing me to take the radio back out and put one on. Much easier to just do it the first time around.

And I think everyone should have the experiences with breakdowns like that, gives you a whole new appreciation for cars and listening to the sounds they make. Most times I can tell if a car has a problem long before it becomes a major issue, just from hearing them before, lol.

Oh, and as for the tire coming off, done that one two, twice. First time the lug studs were just worn out and they broke, I think believe when I had the tires rotated they didn't tighten them properly. The second time the shop put the wrong size studs back in, causing them to break. The third time I put them in myself and didn't have a problem since.

 

and still no one will even put an offer to start a bidding war!!
come on lads some1 even start at. €10 just for the petrol money to get it down to you

 

This Made my day i will be emailing this =]

 

My favorite line

 

hey vicious how about some pics of this bad ass pony

 

Oh you can bet money that if I had a camera, there'd be pictures in this post, lol...

Anyone live in NW Florida and want to take some pictures of my car for me?

 

I'm up in Illinois, but the chance to see this tricked out pony is almost worth the cost of the plane ticket

 

Ill give you $1500 USD if you can bring it over to me in Victoria, Australia

 

Hey man, I'm in Ireland. If you send me a return ticket & put me up for a couple of weeks I'll take a photo of it for you lol.

 

will you deliver to the uk?

 

A note about over-seas delivery:

In the event the bidding price should fail to be high enough to cover delivery expenses, over-seas delivery will by handled by the means of tieing several floatation devices to the car, and driving it off coast into the water (pointed in the buyer's general direction).

In order to assure accurate delivery, I'll consult with Naval Traffic Authorities to determine just when, where, and at what angel I should launch in order to ride the tides, currentls, and trade winds all the way to your chosen beach.

If bidding allows, prior to setting sale, I'll install one of those GPS theft trackers (about $100) into it, and give the buyer the tracking tag number. This way, the buyer can monitor the shipping progress via their home computer, and of course, actually FIND the car in the event something bad were to happen and it wind up a few miles down the coast.

Un-fortunately customer satisfaction comes at a price, so international bids must pass an un-specified reserve before either delivery method (traditional or improvised) will be considered.

Note: Not responsible for barnicles that affix themselves to the car during shipping. Shipping speed not guarenteed. Dependant on aquatic conditions, car may arrive in mulitple boxes, some assembly would be required. In the event of customer disatisfaction, I don't really know what you were expecting, dude. I mean, seriously -- I've spelt everything out pretty clearly.

 

Not to mention once it hits international waterways its fair game. No laws=no ownership. Its not technically "pirating" because the cargo(wow, for once it is used and means what it sounds like), is not manned and therefore no one can be there to stake claim.

Pretty cool if you have a big boat and live near where hurricanes hit. If someones boat gets taken off the dock during a hurricane and goes far enough into international waters, anyone can claim it and it would legally be theirs.

 

do you not have a camera fone even a picture of that would be ok?