A message for the forum

Good morning/afternoon/evening.

I have a message for ALL members of the forum. Here at AfterDawn we have some of the brightest people..... ok, brightest geeks.... the web has to offer. Some of these fine people stand out here more than others because of the phenomenal contribution they have made to our
forum. That is why it upsets me to see conflicts, feuds, or even just small spats between some of these members. I'm sure you are all aware of what I speak. The worst thing for the AfterDawn administration and AfterDawn mods to face is a problem between two members with the “AfterDawn Addict” status.

Having reviewed some of the latest problems, the thing I am most angry about is how easy this could have been resolved a long time ago. In fact, looking directly at it – as in looking past the mountain of comments from members that this problem didn't concern – it was not near as bad as I was prepared for. I contacted a few members in confidence and asked them for their views of what happened and without having to write out what really happened, I am just going to make some suggestions and share some of my thoughts.

Firstly, NOBODY involved has done anything that warrants being suspended – and considering the users involved, it would be bad for the quality of our forums to do that. What I saw, was a mess of badly interpreted comments, a few posts being made out of temporary rage and third parties turning it into something it was not. Thats why again I urge everybody here to remember that text alone is tricky – you have no way of telling how somebody meant for you to interpret a post. Sometimes it is the case that people automatically assume they were attacked and feel offended, then respond publicly – and it just escalates from there.

Mods here were driven crazy by being asked – and sometimes demanded – to ban a member out of nothing but speculation that posts were meant to be offending. In fact, mods will admit here that they were confused about what to do – it doesn't feel good to be the man in the middle. The two main members in this case, are two very respected guys, so being asked to pick sides was just unfair for our entire team. However, I noticed many members, people who had NOTHING to do with it, picked a side anyway and publicly and/or privately stirred it up – I, and the entire team take offense to that behavior.

It makes resolving situations impossible. Sometimes the third parties get so loud that even if both members at the core decided to make a peace agreement, it would probably be brought back up again by a third party. I understand the feeling that you must defend a friend, but first think about what consequences your words could have... will they help or just make it worse? Then also remember that our revised rules are against this behavior so either way, you aren't permitted to do that on our forum. It's a job for mods – or in the case of two Addicts – Admins. By all means, don't hesitate to pass a private note to a mod – but please try not to be biased if a friend is involved. Remember that your friend can be wrong too – no matter how well he or she is thought of.

I'd also like to mention something about other sites. Often, like in this case, some users like to turn it into a site vs. site battle. That is just plain ridiculous when you remember it started with just two people right? In this case, references were made toward DVD Hounds, and I'd like to state that AfterDawn and DVD Hounds have not and have never had any problems. In fact, we share many of the same users, know each other, respect each other etc. Why on earth would it be any other way? I just wanted to make sure that was clear to ALL members.

Now without going into specifics about what happened (as I'm sure id be challenged about it by someone with a different view) here are a few things to remember.

[bold]1.[/bold] Never, and I mean, NEVER, bring old bad blood with another member from another forum/site to AfterDawn. If you have personal problems with someone, keep it out of here. It's VERY EASY to contact people personally through the net without having to go to a public conflict. I understand that many of our Addicts and mods have crossed each other on other sites, and if its the case with you, then remember to keep it where it began. Also, don't bring problems you have had at AfterDawn elsewhere – it makes AfterDawn look like the cause and that's just not fair.

[bold]2.[/bold] Everybody at AfterDawn has the right to properly criticise sites / content freely as long as no direct personal attack is made and there is just cause for criticism. For example, don't criticise somebody's answer because of their grammar – it's the Internet, who really cares about that? (unless you actually cannot read what they have posted...) Instead try to stick to where criticism actually helps somebody – don't do it for fun – just uphold freedom of speech in a good manner. Also, questions can have more than one reply. I don't understand why people get offended if somebody gives a second answer on a thread – this is not a competition, it is not about who is better, more intelligent, bigger or who knows more people. If you have an ego – leave it at the door and take a ticket with your number on it, you can reclaim it on your way back out.

[bold]3.[/bold] If you see a conflict – report it to the mods or Admins if you feel that it is serious. Trust me, I've seen users try to resolve things themselves and ending up as part of it – then getting thrown out for their trouble. Just as acting as a vigilante on the forum is not allowed, turning a small spat into a full on war by taking sides is not allowed. I have seen groups gather to try intimidate people away from the forum, how childish...

[bold]4.[/bold] Don't go out of your way to intimidate – even though text has no tone of voice, it is possible sometimes to determine if someone is deliberately being an idiot. If this is judged then you might find yourself with a suspended account. I would also like to remind mods to always look twice... then look again. Sometimes, things aren't what they seem, always look for the root of the problem, though I know you do already – but your work load here has become too big at times, try to always ignore external influence and just deal with the problem at hand. I would also like everyone to acknowledge just how much our mods do – they keep the spammers away, they clean up double posts, they move too many threads, they clean email addresses to fend off spam bots – they make the place more comfortable for us. “applauds”

[bold]5.[/bold] Have fun god damn it. Remember that when such a large group gathers we are going to have trouble occasionally, that's no reason to get negative, and worst of all, leave and never come back – seriously, imagine applying that to all parts of your life? I/We do appreciate everybody's input on AfterDawn – even if you just dropped by to ask a question, you still dropped by – you went to the trouble of signing up an account and creating a name for yourself here, that's all you need to do to be part of this community

[bold]“IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER”[/bold] - The five paragraphs above are aimed at NOBODY in particular – they are just some of my views. I won't be happy if I get a PM accusing me of anything – I didn't even mention a name here did I?

Try to remember the points I made, but most of all, remember this – you are all arseholes ;-) just kiddin

Oh and BTW, if you feel the need to post something negative below, then don't bother posting at all, this is a thread to resolve some issues that lead to conflicts here, it not a threat to breathe them, so please only have positive input here – of course, if you disagree with me on ANYTHING, I do invite you to PM me and we'll chat it up

 

Ye, basically a lot of it is simply keeping the forum clean and not using it for trouble lol if we just stick to a few guidelines we can all keep it clean

 

@Dela, a mighty fine post there.

- i can't promise to do that at work, only here at AD :O

 

remember the good old days when we didn't deserve that daytime soap opera award? i've been pulling what little hair i have out for months trying to figure out how to get things back on track. well i think i've figured it out, i'm ignoring everyone! i cannot stand to sit here and see some of the "legends of aD" in such turmoil. i cant begin to tell you how many times my wife has heard me say i'm done with aD only to get a reply of "yeah right, you say that every week".
we came here initially to have fun and learn a thing or two. Since when did we actually start caring about anything other than that? joe-user is mad at bob-user, who freakin cares??? i mean come on people is it really that important? i think joe-user and bob-user are ok, never had a problem with them, why the hell should i care or get involved? I shouldn't, cause that makes everything easier. i've preached about this insistant whining and bickering crap going on around here till i'm blue in the face, I aint doing it anymore. it's not that i'm going to be blind to it, i just simply am not going to care.
Dela's paragraph #5 becomes top priority, have fun and help people. next time we have a little spat in public that should have been thru PM's, i swear to god i'm banning every single person on the thread, coming over and raiding your fridge, kicking your dog, burning your crops, poisoning your well, and putting a plague of locusts on your entire neighborhood!! well ok nothing that drastic, but you can bet i'll make a fist and shake it

can we please just play nice and make this place the cool spot it used to be?? remember that guys, you were all part of it back then, you were the ones that made it what it is today, dont be the smacktards that screw it up too!

 

- absolutely, and i always try to do the same. I always feel stupid adding the names at the beginning of posts but it sure stops the confusion for others