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Where Did All The Old Timers Go, A Public Meeting Place For Open Discussion

Discussion in 'Safety valve' started by ireland, Mar 26, 2006.

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  1. Nephilim

    Nephilim Moderator Staff Member

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    My pee pee hurts.
     
  2. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    SO NEPH YE GOT THE DPIP DRIP,WHO WAS YE WITH LAST NIGHT..

    [​IMG]
     
  3. Nephilim

    Nephilim Moderator Staff Member

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    Nah, its just that I'm drunk and really have to pee bad but I don't want to get up (that whole walking thing). Although by now I have a really good reason to get up and pee - I need another Grolsch :D
     
  4. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    GOOD NIGHT,SWEET DREAMS AS YE MALES BUBBLE JUST BROKE

    Penis Enlargement Products Come up Short


    By Christopher Wanjek
    LiveScience's Bad Medicine Columnist
    posted: 20 February 2007
    12:12 pm ET


    You were perhaps tempted to click but then recoiled with the thought of the five years' worth of pop-up ads you'd inevitably encounter. Smart move. For the health of your computer and your body, it's best to ignore the penis enlargement spam.

    Simply put, there is no safe way to enlarge one's penis; and for the vast majority of men, there is no reason to do so.

    While breast enhancement surgery is relatively safe, penis enlargement surgery is so dicey that there's a very good chance a man will lose sensation or the ability to have an erection. Pills do nothing, and exercises are futile and potentially harmful.

    Oh, the websites I had to visit to gather this information.

    * A Brief History of Human Sex

    Size may vary

    Do penis sizes vary? Yes, but you have to get over that fact because ultimately it usually doesn't matter. The biggest difference is in the flaccid penis, averaging about 3 inches and varying between 1 and 4 inches for most men, as measured in many scientific studies from locations as diverse as United States, Germany, Nigeria, Iran and South Korea.
    Bad Medicine

    Bad Medicine appears each Tuesday on LiveScience.

    The flaccid penis is the root of insecurity, the so-called locker-room syndrome. His is bigger than mine. Flaccid length does not predict erect length, however, and most of the variation is made up once up: Most men measure between 5 and 6 inches when erect, regardless of the size starting out.

    (If you're playing along at home, the measurement runs along the top part of the penis, from base to tip. Self-reported Internet-based surveys place the average well over 6 inches. Go figure.)

    In vaginal sex, any erect penis longer than 4 inches is usually big enough to stimulate erogenous tissue in the vagina. A penis longer than 8 inches can ram into the cervix and cause discomfort.

    * The Sex Quiz: Myths, Taboo and Bizarre Facts

    All in your head

    One of the largest studies on penis size, with more than 3,000 men, was published by Italian researchers in the International Journal of Impotence Research in 2002. They found that most men seeking penis enhancement were within the normal size range and greatly overestimated the size of an average penis: These men thought the average flaccid size was about 5 inches, with some venturing as high as 6.5 inches.

    Where do guys get ideas about size? Pornography, largely, were the male performers are above average. A 7-inch erect penis would place you in the 99th percentile, according to the Italian study.

    Urologists try to dissuade men from risky enlargement procedures through counseling and a frank discussion of the facts. Few urologists will attempt surgery on a man whose erect penis is larger than 3 inches.

    Remember, if size mattered and if (male) urologists had solutions, they'd all have massive penises. Call it a hunch, but they aren't packing any surprises.

    * The Top 10 Aphrodisiacs

    Surgery on a sensitive area

    Penile surgery has come a long way and has done a world of good for men who truly need it, according to Dr. Karen Boyle, director of Reproductive Medicine and Surgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. Surgery is performed on men born with a congenital abnormality, who have suffered an injury, or who have severe erectile dysfunction.

    In all these scenarios, men start essentially with a non-functioning penis for sexual purposes, so benefits from the surgery greatly outweigh the risk. Not so for most men seeking something larger.

    "The surgeries to perform elective penile enhancement that are advertised to enlarge a normal, functional penis do not work and... shouldn't be performed," Boyle said.

    That is, you can't enlarge a penis like you can with breasts. One common method is a fat transfer or implant to add girth. This often leads to lumping and a distorted penis shape over time. Another technique involves the release of suspensory ligament, often resulting in infection, loss of sensitivity and erectile dysfunction.

    * Online Dating: Why it Fails

    Going all natural

    Those annoying email ads offer three kinds of enhancement techniques: pills, pumps and exercises. Herbal pill products, a proprietary blend of junk often containing saw palmetto or something exotic from China, promise to stimulate cell growth. Similar stuff is sold to enhance female breast growth. These are a complete waste of money.

    Pumps merely simulate an erection and have no long-term effect on size. Exercises, namely a technique of dubious Arabic origin called jelqing, can lead to nerve damage. Jelqing—a term most urologists have never heard of and which is conspicuously absent from medical and Arabic dictionaries---entails stroking a semi-erect penis in a certain way for about 30 minutes a day for months to enlarge the penile cavities that fill with blood, making for larger erections.

    Testimonials abound on the Internet. The exercise makes no sense biologically, however, and one runs the risk of tearing blood vessels and loosing sensitivity if one tugs too hard for too long. Those 30 minutes could be spent doing sit-ups for sexier results.

    Measuring up

    Before seeking a ten-inch penis, take out a ruler and see what that actually looks like. Scary stuff. Is that really what you want? If you are envious of male porn stars with enormous penises, consider this: That which is huge today will take much greater effort to erect as one gets older.

    Christopher Wanjek is the author of the books “Bad Medicine” and “Food At Work.” Got a question about Bad Medicine? Email Wanjek. If it’s really bad, he just might answer it in a future column. Bad Medicine appears each Tuesday on LIveScience.
     
  5. Pop_Smith

    Pop_Smith Regular member

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    Its true, most men (probably due to media etc.) are really insecure about their personal area.

    Women usually are not insecure about their personal areas although some complain about having small breasts, its easier (and a lot safer, as well as permanent for the most part) to enlarge women's upper region then a mans lower.

    Good night
     
  6. gerry1

    gerry1 Guest

    @Neph...you can always solve the getting up and walking thing by using a "Texas Catheter" ... I'll spare the reader any pics but it rather like a heavier condom with a tube at the end that drains into a plastic bag strapped to your thigh. I was a combat medic in the marine corps and when we went to concerts or something similar, we'd put booze in them and sip at the tube during the concert. Worked like a charm.

    @Pop_Smith... breast implants is a piece of surgery which my sister just doesn't understand. She is rather "top heavy" for lack of a better term LOL! She says though that she's always been jealous of women with smaller breasts because big boobs hurt if one doesn't use constant and serious support. So too, she complains that putting a napkin on her lap is useless and you have to watch what you eat in public because the falling crumbs from like french bread etc. is just plain embarrassing LOL.

    @Ireland....some months ago, I was walking by the PA Convention Center in Philly and protesting some convention was this large group of people with signs protesting circumcision as "genital mutilation". I had no idea it was a social issue and wondered where they got so many people with an interest in such a thing lol! You know, I never gave it much thought but emerging from the womb only to have someone put an axe to your wee-wee is a fine How Do You Do!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 24, 2007
  7. Pop_Smith

    Pop_Smith Regular member

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    @gerry1, LOL I didn't think that women with large breasts would be jealous of women with smaller ones but it sounds like it happens quite often. It seems like most women are fine with their breast size but some don't like being small and some would rather be small due to the genetic size of their boobs.
     
  8. Rikoshay

    Rikoshay Regular member

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    @gerry1

    Coming from a guy who was circumcised shortly after birth, and knowing the difference between guys who have not, I can tell you that honestly that it's a horrible experience and for whatever reason was used to have it done was not just in the least.

    It's easy to come up with justifications for doing it, like it's easier to keep clean, or it "makes it look bigger", but I could name 10 reasons for each of those reasons that it's not right to do.

    Here's a word of advice; if you are lucky enough to be married and your wife gives birth to a son, and they ask you if you want him circumcised, for the love of God, say no.
     
  9. zippyd

    zippyd Active member

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    don't mind me... just lurking ;)
     
  10. saugmon

    saugmon Senior member

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    Good morning all!

    Zippyd: How's it going?

    That Ice Storm that we were suppose to get-1/4-1/2 inch of buildup,and then it was upped to 3/4 inch: We didn't get squat!!!!!!!Not even 1 drop.

    Good Job meteorologists!!!! One of the few jobs you can screw up and still keep your job...

    Too much talking about weiner on this thread, LOL.

    Big-uns,Litte-uns,inbetween-uns. More than a mouthful is just a waste!
     
  11. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    GOOD AFTERNOON TO YE ALL

    [​IMG]
    IRISH COFFEE

    HOW "REAL" MEN BATHE A CAT

    1. Scrub toilet and flush several times.

    2. Fill toilet with warm water and add a squirt of pet shampoo.

    3. Drop cat in toilet and slam lid shut.

    4. Sit on lid - cat's efforts to free itself will generate a good deal of sudsing and washing motions. Drink beer while waiting.

    5. Flush toilet a couple of times to rinse cat.

    6. Leap off toilet seat, dash out door and slam it securely shut because kitty will erupt from the bowl as if jet engine is lodged up their ass.

    7. Leave kitty to sulk and dry itself. Drink beer while waiting.

    * This is fiction - You couldn't get a man to scrub a toilet.



    Dogs' Letters to God

    Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

    Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it going to be the same old story?

    Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

    Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

    Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

    Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

    Dear God: When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

    Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2007
  12. saugmon

    saugmon Senior member

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    Three Old Men:

    "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."

    "Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

    "Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

    "Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.

    "No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

    "So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"

    "No, I have one every morning at 6:30."

    Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"

    "I don't wake up until 7:00.
     
  13. aabbccdd

    aabbccdd Guest

    saugmon, well that ice storm got us here in the Indianapolis area , big mess tree limbs breaking off power out etc. no fun
     
  14. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    A triple-threat hybrid camcorder
    February 25, 2007 5:59 AM PDT
    Add to your del.icio.usdel.icio.us Digg this storyDigg this

    Hitachi's new hybrid camcorders, the DZHS300A (shown here) and DZH500A, record video on an internal hard drive, as well as on mini-DVDs and memory cards. The DZHS300A, which costs $600 and is now available, holds about 110 minutes of the highest-quality video. The DZH500A, due in April at $800, holds about seven hours.
    [​IMG]
    http://news.com.com/2300-1041_3-6161742-1.html?part=rss&tag=6161742&subj=news
     
  15. saugmon

    saugmon Senior member

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    The real mess was around Louisiana,Mississippi and surrounding states.. Tornados. I hope Bigtoxy69 is ok.

    We were supposed have warmed up and rain today,but not even a drop.
     
  16. Nephilim

    Nephilim Moderator Staff Member

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    I hope BigToxy's alright too.

    It's 59F and nothing but sunshine here in Phoenix :)
     
  17. Estuansis

    Estuansis Active member

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    Neph, I hate you!

    We've had an ongoing snowstorm since Friday night and it's up to 5 1/2 feet now!

    I feel sorry for the poor saps who didn't get on it early and hit their driveways last night. I had to do the deck by hand and it was up to my chest!
     
  18. Rikoshay

    Rikoshay Regular member

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    If you think that's something, here in San Diego most of the week has been in the mid 70s!! :D I love living here.
     
  19. saugmon

    saugmon Senior member

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    Remember that snowstorm that hit the northeast a couple weeks ago? They got pounded with 10-12 inches per hour!!!!!!

    Here's a pic from oswego NY:

    [​IMG]

    I've got some other pics of it in an email,with a track-ho carving out the road. That track-ho looked like a little tonka toy,LOL
     
  20. aabbccdd

    aabbccdd Guest

    OMFG!! YEAH IN SOME areas (NY) they got 135 inches of snow 11 to 12 feet!!!!
     
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