My MAC Commercial

Anyone else hate those MAC-vs-PC commercials as much as I do? Here is my version of one of those commercials...I am sure that it is not 100% accurate, but then the ones on TV are never 100% accurate:

Mac: Hey PC, what are you doing?
PC: I am sending you all the information that you need to empty my bank account.
Mac: Thanks! Buy why?
PC: It is compressed in the best, safest format in existence.
Mac: OK, But why do you want me to empty your bank account?
PC: I don't; you won't be able to open this file because Mac's don't support it.
Mac: Why send it at all?
PC: To show that you are not appropriate for business, or anyone with personal information.
MAC: No problem, I'll just forward it to my friend's PC. Hey, that's a cool color laptop!
PC: You like it? PCs are available in any color you might want.
MAC: Mac's used to be like that; but all that color led to creativity, and when our customers realized that cannot do anything creative on a mac, they would leave us.
PC: That's a sad story; maybe you could get them back by making more powerfull systems?
MAC: Can't do that; we don't make our own parts, and we mark up the parts we use so much that if we ever made a quality mac, it would be too expensive for anyone to buy.
PC: I thought MACs ran all sorts of software, like Microsoft Office?
MAC: I can run a special Mac version of Microsoft office, and I can even run some windows programs, but not very fast.
PC: If you are using a PC parts, why not run Windows so that your users can use their programs and accessories?
MAC: It would be too obvious that we are just an overpriced PC if we did that.
PC: So you are a PC?
MAC: No, PCs are configurable, reliable, affordable and compatible...we at MAC believe all these things are bad.
PC: I see, so it is a status symbol to own a mac; like buying a Hummer with a 4-cylinder...it's a huge status symbol, even if it will not get up to 70mph on the highway.
MAC: You got it! It's about saying, "I can waist my money and my time however I want. Since I don't actually have to do anything with my computer, it should be an overpriced, useless piece of junk"
PC: At least you know your market.
MAC: Yup; people who are as dumb as our management and who have lots of cash to throw away.
PC: How are sales?
MAC: Great; there's a sucker born every minute.
PC: I'm gonna go play a game; I'd invite you but most games will not run on macs.
MAC: That's fine; the games that do run play too slow to be any fun.
PC: Oh NO! One of my hard drives just died; I should get it replaced before I have any problems or data loss.
MAC: HARD DRIVE FAILURE; ALL DATA LOST
PC: That sounds terrible, I am sure glad PCs are available with redundant parts so that if a part fails, I keep running fine.
MAC: HARD DRIVE FAILURE; ALL DATA LOST
PC: You already said that.
MAC: HARD DRIVE FAILURE; ALL DATA LOST
PC: What no redundancy?
MAC: HARD DRIVE FAILURE; ALL DATA LOST
PC: This is pointless; I'm gonna go order a new hard drive before I start saying "HARD DRIVE FAILURE; ALL DATA LOST"
MAC: HARD DRIVE FAILURE; ALL DATA LOST