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Adorable Letters to Santa, awwww

Discussion in 'All other topics' started by Maddux31, Dec 14, 2004.

  1. Maddux31

    Maddux31 Guest

    Letters to SANTA

    Deer santa:

    I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
    Yer Frend,
    BiLLy

    Dear Billy,
    Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
    Santa




    Dear Santa,
    I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
    and joy in the world for everybody!
    Love,
    Sarah

    Dear Sarah,
    Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
    Santa



    Dear Santa,
    I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
    Love,
    Teddy

    Dear Teddy,
    Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those?
    Santa



    Dear Santa,
    I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
    kit, a pony and a tuba.
    Love,
    Francis

    Dear Francis,
    Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
    Santa



    Dear Santa,
    I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
    Love,
    Susan

    Dear Susan,
    Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.
    Santa



    Dear Santa,
    What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
    Your friend,
    Thomas

    Dear Thomas,
    All the toys are made by little kids like you in China Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table.
    Santa

    P.S.

    Tell your mom she got the part.

    Long DongClaus




    Dear Santa,
    Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
    Love,
    Jessica

    Dear Jessica,
    Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
    Santa




    Dear Santa,
    I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE
    could I have one?
    Timmy

    Timmy,
    That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.
    Santa



    Dearest Santa,
    We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
    Love,
    Marky

    Mark,
    First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
    Sweet Dreams,
    Santa
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 14, 2004
  2. NeoLance

    NeoLance Regular member

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    OMG, thats got to be one of the funniest things ive seen on the computer. I actually laughed my butt off on the computer looking at this. I cant believe nobody replied to this. This is one of the best posts ive been to yet!!! HAHAHAHA. Thank you. I actually copied and pasted this and i am about to print it. =)
     
  3. Maddux31

    Maddux31 Guest

    LOL I'm glad you liked it. It made me laugh out loud myself.
     
  4. NeoLance

    NeoLance Regular member

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    Lol, i made sure i printed it so i can look at it whenever i want and show my friends lol.
     

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