1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Girlfriend is Killing my Time

Discussion in 'Safety valve' started by seiferkai, Mar 8, 2007.

  1. seiferkai

    seiferkai Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2007
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    11
    First of all let me appoligize ahead of time for one being a newbie and two possibly posting in the wrong area. but i dont know who to turn too and i need serious help fast.. here is my problem

    I love world of warcraft, this is my computer. I love this game with all my heart and i want to continue to play it with my free time..

    My girlfriend loves my computer..but thats not it...she loves this game called "Second life" when she comes home at noon shes on this game all the way till she has to go to work at 6am...she dont sleep, she plays this game constantly and now its kinda pissing me off..i work too and i get no PC time to myself...i watched her do this non stop for 2 months now..she sleeps occasionally when i have to almost force her to sleep

    i never hit her..never will..but she would give me all sorts of attitudes and such while playing this game..before we used to go places together..now she dont wanna get up off the seat...
    she had become at the obessive stage..i know this cause i used to be just like that with WoW...but i manage my time now..

    please what can i do to kill this game...i tried port blockers i want to block the ports this game is using...i wanna time lock this game at certain hours so i can manage her time and get my computer back...i know your reading this so please help me


    im watching this thread..

    ~Seifer
     
  2. BIGTOXY69

    BIGTOXY69 Regular member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2004
    Messages:
    2,851
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    46
    seiferkai- Sounds like you should be talking to each other More ! Does she know how you feel? about this I mean? If everything else on the relationship is going well ! Then try Talking to her about It ! I applaud you for not hitting her ! My wife's FirsT husband was an abusive( Violent alcoholic ) so Until she got to know me when we were dating she was skitish ! The domestic Violence thing is wrong no matter if its the man beating the woman or vice versa ! But To your problem ? Sometimes you have to make accomadations when living with someone especially if it's someone you love ! And That would be both of you ! See if you can workout a schedule that works for you both !? Or it may just be easier to Buy/Rent a new computer& network your system ? so You can each have your cake ( Computer Time) and eat it too ! But Try the talking thing firsT ! Good luck!!!!
     
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2007
  3. seiferkai

    seiferkai Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2007
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    11
    well we do talk...sort of..when shes on the computer playing this game all social activities between me and her disconnects while she talks to a bunch of other guys in this game...it hurts me to know that she would gladly talk to a bunch of other guys than me...

    i talked to her about it and she says "chill dude, its just a game"
    but you know second life..with their sexual activities they have in the game it bothers me.....alott

    i confront her on this and she would blow up at me....hmm i cant afford a new PC maybe renting might be the key here...any other ideas?? thanks for taking the time to read my letter
     
  4. gerry1

    gerry1 Guest

    Perhaps you should put the computer in the closet for awhile until you and she learn again what life is all about. Face it, certain computer addictions are addictions like any other ... gambling, drugs, alcohol tobbbaco. I had a buddy here one aD who was on the brink of divorce because he couldn't rip himself away and plenty of the old timers here know who I'm talking about. Certain computer related things like games, chat rooms etc. are very addicting to certain personality types. When people refuse to sleep and risk their relationships for something like a game or a chat room, there is a SERIOUS problem than MUST be dealt with!
     
  5. seiferkai

    seiferkai Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2007
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    11
    sweet thanks for the advice....i will try that first and see how things progress....
     
  6. gerry1

    gerry1 Guest

    Let us know how you make out. I don't think the idea of renting another computer is good idea ... two people both on their computers never talking to each other or ripping themselves away from the machine isn't the answer to anything.
     
  7. Smee342

    Smee342 Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2007
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    i would say brake up with her, and hope she realizes what she will be missing out on. i was the same way to with WoW but now im more social and more of an acholic since ive given myself less time on WoW lol but hey we are all different.

    umm other things u can do is dont force her off of it becouse that will just go down a messy road "turst me" umm keep talking to her and u know wat plan a nice dinner for her or somthing u know also giving her incentive to be away from the computer. but keep talking to her and make sure she understands how uncomfortable u are and how worried u are about her situtation and that u only mean wats best.


    SmeeZus
     
  8. gerry1

    gerry1 Guest

    It is true that someone must WANT to change if it's going to happen but it can be a very serious thing. My cousin Joe was married to a great girl for twenty five years and they had three great kids. All it took was ONE visit to a casino and his wife was hooked. She lied, stole, promised to change over and over again, wiped the family out financially and my cousin Joe, after all those years, had to get a divorce because he couldn't take it anymore. Fortunately, the kids were grown. But its wierd how some people will suddenly get hooked on something right out of the clear blue. FOrtunately, computer games, chat rooms etc. won't wipe you out financially but it can still kill a relationship really quick.
     
  9. seiferkai

    seiferkai Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2007
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    11
    thats what im afraid of i dont want this relationship to end cause of no computer game...its foolish
     
  10. BIGTOXY69

    BIGTOXY69 Regular member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2004
    Messages:
    2,851
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    46
    yeah you can be Hooked on nearly anything ? Like gerry1 said ! I still say you need to talk it more ! i realise it's not easy ! maybe you should Disconnect the computer awhile like he said and discover or rediscover whats good about the relationship ! remember that You may not always see Eye to eye or even agree on many Things !But at the heart of it and at the end of the day You love each other ? Love trust & respect are like a three leaf clover all intertwined ! all needing each other to exist !as a whole ! and as weird as it sounds sometimes you can even love somebody but not like them ? for awhile ! Relationships are not always easy ? and sometimes you or her have to be a willow and not an oak and bend and give a little instead standing fast and holding your ground ! I live in the counrty ( Squirrel Heaven !!!) lot's of oak trees & i can tell you when the storms and strong winds come Oaks break and fall! Willows tend to come out unscathed most times !It may sound simplistic but if you can stop and think about it ? is this or that argument really that important ? before you go full throttle into it You'll probably say to yourself this is not worth fighting over ! I'm not saying Be a Doormat either ! just be like a well trained Soldier !Know what your fighting for & pick your battles ! when you really have too! I let my wife have her way in most things using that Philosphy ! But if I'm dead set on something That's the way it is going to Be ! We communicate about almost everything and anything ! so we usually sort things out rather quickly ! Not that we don't ever argue but eventually we can either Do it her way !, Compromise , Or agree to disagree! and regardless of the option we end up with There is love and respect for the other person and we both know this !I wish you well In all Things Hope you two can sort out your trials and tribulations and get back to the reason your together to start with ? Love !!! Good luck !
     
  11. VidJunkie

    VidJunkie Member

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2007
    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    11
    Reaching out to this forum to acknowledge the problem and ask for advice is a big step in a good direction. Real life sometimes brings real pain, which can make anyone want to retreat from time to time. But sometimes we begin to accept the retreat as a substitute for real life, blocking out reality in the process. The imaginary world of computer gaming can seem quite real, and it can be a seductive retreat mechanism. Its challenges do not cause the same pain that real life can, but it cannot deliver the same rewards and pleasure that can come in real life. There is no substitute for a relationship with another human being, be it good or bad. A good relationship is something to treasure, cherish and nurture. The best relationships are built over time; don't do anything sudden or rash in reaction to your situation. Seek out something else that you both have as a common interest and involve yourselves together in whatever that may be. This should help you to remember why you chose each other, and why each of you wants the other involved in your lives.
     
  12. ddp

    ddp Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    39,091
    Likes Received:
    84
    Trophy Points:
    128
    moved to correct forum
     
  13. jin666

    jin666 Regular member

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2005
    Messages:
    767
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    26
    What a terrible situation your in mate. I feel for you. I have to agree with what gerry1 said, some very wise words he speaks :)

    Jin666
     
  14. janrocks

    janrocks Guest

    This is an online game? Sounds like a job for the parental controls. Both of you need user accounts, and you will be able to set the machine up to allow access to certain things for only certain hours of tha day. It may seem like I do nothing but sit at my computer, but it's not true.. I work and get some social life too. Not being a great one for gaming I don't really understand how you can get addicted to them, but I do know only too well that it can and does happen, often with disasterous results for a relationship. When my last marriage was breaking down I turned to my computers for company, but the first thing I did was cut my man out of my home network. Unfair? quite possibly, but it did mean that we were forced to talk instead of hiding behind "shhh I'm busy" It didn't work and we divorced.. but hell.. That was the only sensible outcome. At least we got free of each other instead of suffering in silence for years and years like my parents did.
    Not exactly words of encouragement. You need to get out of the house.. both of you, TOGETHER! and remember why you are together, or perhaps find out why you don't want to be together any more. It's the only way.. letting it fester on and on will only make the final outcome more certain, and a lot more unpleasant than it needs to be.
     
  15. NoLimit04

    NoLimit04 Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2005
    Messages:
    7,428
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    96

    1. Hitting or any mental abuse is wrong and it's good that you aren't doing the physical abuse anyway.

    2. Timing her on the computer would be treating her like a child and she'll take offense to that and it could lead into more problems.

    3. The game will eventually get old to her and she'll stop on her own, plus the loss of sleep will finally catch up with her.

    4. Talking helps sometimes, depending on the situation. I don't think talking about this situation will help much. Doesn't hurt to try though.

    5. Planning an event or date with the computer addict only makes them mad. You might have that person out somewhere but they're also thinking of the time that's being missed on the computer, making the date not enjoyable for either of you.

    6. Try renting another computer for one week, maybe 2 weeks at the most and both of you go at it, side by side or at least in the same room with her. This will give the both of you a look at each others problem.

    Just so you know, this comes from someone that has been married 3 times and I was never abusive in any way. I do not drink or do any drugs and I have only one child from the last marriage in which I have full custody of. First marriage was 3 years, 2nd one was 10 years, 3rd one was 5 years. Judging the 3 women I was with, if I were you, I would be glad to know my girlfriend was at least in the house where you can see her. Things could be much worse but she seems to have stepped in on your addiction and you're not taking it very lightly.

    I wish you all the luck in the world and please keep us informed of what you decide and how it works out. I'm sure if you'll just let her go, she'll realize that she's missing out and at the same time, you're now seeing what she would see if you were doing the same thing. You follow me?
     
  16. rihgt682

    rihgt682 Regular member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2005
    Messages:
    1,171
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    46
    lose the chick, like every wow player says
    "who needs a girl when you got WoW"
     
  17. howy_2005

    howy_2005 Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Messages:
    68
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    that's about the dumbest thing i've heard all year....

    wow...thanks for a great laugh
     
  18. seiferkai

    seiferkai Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2007
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    11
    in the end, it all came down to me moving out and taking the computers away..ending the relationship...it was a painful dicision i had to choose but i had rather not live with such problems than let it accelerate to a new level
     
  19. res2cue

    res2cue Guest

    I gotta tell you I think you did the right thing... eventually that game would wear off, but there would be a new one. I had kind of the same problem, but solved it... *kind of* with my g/f and neopets.... I wonder how many relationship that has ruined.
     
  20. Lethal_B

    Lethal_B Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2005
    Messages:
    4,065
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    68
    when you "love" a computer game "with all your heart", you seriously need to think about giving yourself a break from the screen. same goes for the missus.. take her out somewhere so you both get a rest from the pc.
     

Share This Page