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help people feel better

Discussion in 'Safety valve' started by kateman, May 31, 2007.

  1. kateman

    kateman Regular member

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    iam after a bit of advice from people. sometimes i see my friends who are a bit down but dont want to talk about it. i just want to help them open up and get over whatever they are down about so i was interested if anybody knows of things to say/do(serious things to say or some joke that may take them away from feeling sad) that will help them feel better or at least start to talk to me/anyone about it?

    any advice would be appreciated :)
     
  2. aabbccdd

    aabbccdd Guest

    Last edited by a moderator: May 31, 2007
  3. gerry1

    gerry1 Guest

    @kateman...You're obviously the compassionate and caring sort and people generally have a sixth sense about that. You can't really "cajole" someone into telling you their personal problems unless its someone you know so well that it gives you a certain license to prod in a manner that would be inappropriate to others. Again, you're the compassionate and caring sort of person and people generally have a sixth sense for that sort of thing; the only thing you can do is let them know that you're there for them and their gut usually makes them know the truth of it. People react to personal problems in many different ways ... some do want to talk about while others prefer to just crawl under a rock. You can usually tell when someone really does want to open up because their is usually a hesitance that is almost palpable which is, in itself, an open door. There are two things which all such people have in common and which strikes all of us at one time or another; they're usually unable to see the forest for the trees...they're so wrapped up in it that they can't be objective and secondly, most people with a problem (even a very mundane problem) see that problem as uniquely their own ... like they're the only person in the world who has ever had the problem which, naturally, is never the case. Sometimes you can get someone to open up by addressing either of those things which is true of everyone in some sort of emotional pain but the bottom line is that you can only make it clear that you're there for them ... they usually know, in their hearts, the truth of it.
     
  4. kateman

    kateman Regular member

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    @ aaccbbdd: thank-you, i havent read all of it but it seems quite helpful

    and @gerry1: that was very insightful, thank-you. and yes, they are some of my close friends but it always seems awkward when i say something like that or i ask if they just want to talk about it but they say no.
    they're the quiet type. hardly ever says anything other than hi when their down and is often hard to just start talking.

    anyway, thank-you both again :)
     
  5. ireland

    ireland Active member

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  6. kateman

    kateman Regular member

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    wow ireland, thats really helpful. thank-you!
     
  7. Nelmeco

    Nelmeco Regular member

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    Thats a good bit of info, thanks.
     
  8. gerry1

    gerry1 Guest

    @Kateman ... Ireland is our resident wise man, sage, witch doctor and philosopher king LOL!
     
  9. aabbccdd

    aabbccdd Guest

    well said gerry lol
     
  10. kateman

    kateman Regular member

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    haha well iam never on here enough to know these things :p
    lol i'll keep that in mind


    but getting back on track, Ireland mentioned jokes to distract, does anybody of any that could work half decently?
     
  11. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    try here for a start

    Ireland's And All Members Jokes And Picture Thread For All Days Of The Week
    http://forums.afterdawn.com/thread_view.cfm/276134

    theres another joke thread and i can not find it...

    example
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2007

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