Got this sent to me in an email, and thought it had some good ones in it so I thought I'd share them... 1. [bold]How many men does it take to open a beer?[/bold] None. It should be opened when she brings it. 2. [bold]Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?[/bold] Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. 3. [bold]Why do women have smaller feet than men?[/bold] It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. 4. [bold]How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?[/bold] When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." 5. [bold]How do you fix a woman's watch?[/bold] You don't. There is a clock on the oven. 6. [bold]Why do men fart more than women?[/bold] Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. 7. [bold]If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?[/bold] The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. 8. [bold]What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?[/bold] A woman who won't do what she's told. 9. [bold]I married a Miss Right.[/bold] I just didn't know her first name was Always. 10. [bold]Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.[/bold] It's called a Wedding Cake. 11. [bold]Why do men die before their wives?[/bold] They want to. 12. [bold]Women will never be equal to men[/bold] until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. 13. [bold]In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman.[/bold] Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.