1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Men Strike Back...

Discussion in 'Safety valve' started by djscoop, Mar 12, 2005.

  1. djscoop

    djscoop Active member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2003
    Messages:
    4,070
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    66
    Got this sent to me in an email, and thought it had some good ones in it so I thought I'd share them...


    1. [bold]How many men does it take to open a beer?[/bold]
    None. It should be opened when she brings it.

    2. [bold]Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?[/bold]
    Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

    3. [bold]Why do women have smaller feet than men?[/bold]
    It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
    them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

    4. [bold]How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?[/bold]
    When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

    5. [bold]How do you fix a woman's watch?[/bold]
    You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

    6. [bold]Why do men fart more than women?[/bold]
    Because women can't shut up long enough to
    build up the required pressure.

    7. [bold]If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?[/bold]
    The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

    8. [bold]What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?[/bold]
    A woman who won't do what she's told.

    9. [bold]I married a Miss Right.[/bold]
    I just didn't know her first name was Always.

    10. [bold]Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.[/bold]
    It's called a Wedding Cake.

    11. [bold]Why do men die before their wives?[/bold]
    They want to.

    12. [bold]Women will never be equal to men[/bold]
    until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

    13. [bold]In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
    Then God created Man and rested.
    Then God created Woman.[/bold]
    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
     
  2. geestar20

    geestar20 Active member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Messages:
    2,995
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    66
    dude...I laughed my ass off with these [​IMG]
     
  3. wild77

    wild77 Guest

    Now that's funny!!!lmao
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 12, 2005
  4. Buik

    Buik Regular member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2003
    Messages:
    260
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    26
    Good ones. If it weren't for your sig, I'd say we were fellow conservatives.

    TC
     
  5. djscoop

    djscoop Active member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2003
    Messages:
    4,070
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    66
    I got nothing against convservatives or republicans, its just the whole Bush family I have issues with
     
  6. ddp

    ddp Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    39,010
    Likes Received:
    77
    Trophy Points:
    128
    sr i didn't have a problem with, just jr i do have a problem with
     
  7. djscoop

    djscoop Active member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2003
    Messages:
    4,070
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    66
    the fact that they have such close ties with Saudi Arabia and the oil industry is quite annoying.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. ddp

    ddp Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    39,010
    Likes Received:
    77
    Trophy Points:
    128
    djscoop, i see you have your sign back!!!
     
  9. djscoop

    djscoop Active member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2003
    Messages:
    4,070
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    66
    yeah I got so many comments on it I decided to put it back in for a little bit, keep pissing off those right-wingers

    edit 4 damn typos
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2005
  10. baabaa

    baabaa Active member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2003
    Messages:
    2,217
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    66
  11. djscoop

    djscoop Active member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2003
    Messages:
    4,070
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    66
    that is too funny! I just might have to put one of those gifs in my sig...
     
  12. baabaa

    baabaa Active member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2003
    Messages:
    2,217
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    66
    Tought you'd like that...........

    Bush looks like a right turkey......LOL
     
  13. ddp

    ddp Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    39,010
    Likes Received:
    77
    Trophy Points:
    128
    gobal gobal gobal!!!!!
     
  14. Buik

    Buik Regular member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2003
    Messages:
    260
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    26
    Right hand turns are safer ,when using hand signals. Less chance of it being ripped off by a left of center cell phone user......

    And my, are we getting off topic again?

    TC
     
  15. ddp

    ddp Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    39,010
    Likes Received:
    77
    Trophy Points:
    128
    always!!!
     
  16. philipman

    philipman Regular member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2004
    Messages:
    913
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    26
    What's the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist?
    A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

    Why is it called PMS? -- Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken

    Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.
    The one guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."
    The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."
    They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
    She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fu*k, Etc."

    What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
    You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2005

Share This Page