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Never ever ever ever go to Ikea with two women.

Discussion in 'Safety valve' started by Nephilim, Dec 30, 2004.

  1. Nephilim

    Nephilim Moderator Staff Member

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    I was put through utter Hell yesterday. I needed a new bed frame and matress (been sleeping on a piece of foam for the last year) and a dresser (been keeping my threads in big tupperwares) so I wanted to go to the new Ikea they just opened here in Phoenix. It just so happend that my sis and mom wanted to go too so we all piled into my truck and went. I should've known better.

    I was there for FIVE FREAKIN HOURS. They were both on a mission to look at each and every single product in that 350,000 square foot palace of pure boredom - twice! I had my crap picked out and loaded inside of 45 minutes. When I go in a store I know what I want, I get what I want, I pay for what I want then I leave - simple. I had to find an empty spot in the furniture racks and go to sleep to keep myself from commiting suicide.

    Even worse is they have the place set up like a giant rat maze. You can't simply walk from one end of the store to the next in a relatively straight line - no that would be too easy. To get from one end to the other you have to go through all these winding corridors filled with idiots standing there contemplating their navels and God knows what else. As a general rule I don't like people and I like crowds of people even less. After about 20 minutes I'd reached my limit of human contact and was damn near ready to start sucker punching these wandering cows just to get them the hell out of my way.

    I don't drink but I was ready to get stupid drunk after that. I'd rather have my balls nailed to a board then go through that again.
     
  2. ddp

    ddp Moderator Staff Member

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    what is one of the things that a woman like doing & that is shopping
     
  3. flip218

    flip218 Moderator Staff Member

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    LMAO !!!!!
     
  4. zippyd

    zippyd Regular member

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    Hindsight=20/20

    LMAO
     
  5. WelshBoa

    WelshBoa Regular member

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    Ha ha - never mind, after one of my drunken binges I promised my wife we would go to Ikea the next day (saturday)

    Not much wrong with that you might say apart from the fact we took our 2yr old daughter and 8 week old twins.

    Double buggys and Ikea do not mix!!!!!!

    Dont know whether you have it in the american stores but in the UK when you checkout with your stuff there is a very small drink and food sales place.

    They sell alcoholic 5%abv Pear Cider in cans which is so fusking nice you would not belive.

    Makes my Strongbow taste like saw-dust!!
     
  6. Nephilim

    Nephilim Moderator Staff Member

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    God, I wish they served alcohol at the one I went to. It would've helped my plight soooooo much. They do have a really good breakfast though........
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2004
  7. DaOsT

    DaOsT Regular member

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    BOL That is the truth
     
  8. geestar20

    geestar20 Active member

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    I know your pain.
     
  9. pulsar

    pulsar Active member

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    There are a few stores here in the UK that have creches for the men. Complete with PS2s. I think that is a marvellous idea!
     
  10. hogan

    hogan Regular member

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    What was wrong with the foam and the tupperware????
     
  11. T42

    T42 Member

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    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    Gotcha
     
  12. Toiletman

    Toiletman Active member

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    When I was back in England, it was just the same with me and my parents when they went to Ikea. fusking unbelievable how some people can be at times...

    Good thing I do what I want nowadays! =D
     
  13. Nephilim

    Nephilim Moderator Staff Member

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    The foam was crushed in the middle thus offering no support for my lovely frame and the tupperware was, well.....tupperware! I had recurring nightmares where a bunch of cackling broads had a tupperware party in my room and all the tupperwares were full of green Jell-O with little Nephilim heads in it insted of fruit cocktail. Now that I have a nice 5 drawer wood dresser I don't wet the bed from those dreams anymore :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2005

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