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Relying On Others..

Discussion in 'Safety valve' started by Mik3h, May 1, 2005.

  1. Mik3h

    Mik3h Regular member

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    Don't you think, that when you rely on someone, or regard them as your friend.. that if they let you down in some way or another, or someone in your family if you trust them and the they let you down.. you just can stand the pain that that gives you, you know someone but then it all goes to nothing and you just share nothing with them. The easiest way is just not to rely on anyone or get to know someone. Everyone you know always goes away or the things you have in common with people all go to waste they all just disappear.. it's easier to just not open yourself to people. Not let them know how you feel. Because if you do you'll just get hurt again..

    -Mike
     
  2. GrandpaBW

    GrandpaBW Active member

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    Mike, you are obviously having some problems. Talk to someone about them. Possibly the person who let you down. Let them know how it has affected you, and why.

    Trust is something that is earned. When someone breaches that trust, it is hard to forgive or trust that person, again. But, like the old saying goes: To err is human, to forgive is divine. Let that person know that you forgive them, if you do. And let them know that earning your trust again, will take some doing.
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2005
  3. malcdogg

    malcdogg Regular member

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    It's never good to rely on others, especially for your own happiness. Because if you do i can almost guarantee you'll hardly ever be happy.
     
  4. GrandpaBW

    GrandpaBW Active member

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    To Malcdogg: I rely on my wife for many things. We have been married for 35 years, and are both happy, most of the time.
     
  5. squizzle

    squizzle Active member

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    I feel this way sometimes, as I'm sure we all do at some point in our lives, but you can't give up. There are good people out there. And I've learned that the more people screw you over the stronger you get. Sure it may hurt at the time, but it lets you know who is your friend and who you can count on. Also, if they didn't do whatever it was that caused you to feel this way, they might do something else somewhere further down the line that causes an even bigger problem for you.

    Cheer up, friends come and go.
     
  6. malcdogg

    malcdogg Regular member

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    To GrandpaBW: Well, marriage is supposed to be the exception to that rule. I should have worded what i said more carefully. I just was trying not to sound like Dr. Phil. LOL.

    My point was don't become codependant. Not to the point where your own personal happiness is dependent on whether someone dissapoints you or not. And Mik3h, i'm not trying to belittle your problem. My own younger brother, who was like a twin to me growning up, has dissapointed me to the point where i don't associate with him anymore. He is a degenerate thieving, drug addict. I have a wife and a daughter and i can't be having people like him around my family.

    It bothers the hell out of me that, after growing up together being best friends, that it's come to that point. But i know that the problem isn't with with me, it's with him. I do miss him though, the real him, not the person that prison and drugs produced.

    I hope everything works out Mik3h. Whatever this person did, just remember it wasn't you. Even if they're close to you, they aren't you. So try not to let that persons negative actions bring you down. Take care.



     
  7. Mik3h

    Mik3h Regular member

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    Hey, thanks guys, honestly you've helped me a lot :)

    @ malcdogg - I'm sorry to hear about your brother.

    -Mike
     
  8. squizzle

    squizzle Active member

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    @mik3h: I'm glad you feel better now. It really sucks being in a rut like that, and sometimes it's really tough to get out of it.

    @malcdogg: I feel for you man. I have a sister, we grew up together, lived together our whole lives, she's only 2 years younger than me. Well she's now in prison for the next 10 years, because she got drunk one night and her stupid loser boyfriend had this brilliant idea to rob a house because they "needed" money and he had done it before and got away with it - in the ghetto. Well, this time they did it in some ritzy neighborhood and got caught. She got charged with armed burglary, 3 counts of kidnapping, and escape. I guess she got lucky with the sentencing, because she did this with 2 guys and one got 40 years, the other got life. It makes me sad to think about it, and it really broke my mother's heart. I really miss her, now I'm crying. I need to write her a letter, this still hurts thinking about it, ya know?
     

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