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Things most women will never say !!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Safety valve' started by andmerr, Feb 6, 2005.

  1. andmerr

    andmerr Guest

    enjoy one and all or add your own


    andmerr


    1.you know, I've been complaining a lot lately.I don't blame you for ignoring me

    2.That was fun, when will all our friends be over to watch pornos again

    3.That new girl in the office is a stripper,i invited her over for dinner on friday

    4.While you were in the bathroom, they went fot it on the fourth down and missed.If they can hold them to a field goal they still recover.

    5.Bar food again?? kick ass

    6.i liked that wedding even more than ours.Your ex girlfriend has class

    7.I like using this new lawn mover so much more than the old one, what a wonderful valentines day !!!!!

    8.Lets just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times,then you dont have to mess with it anymore

    9. iTS Only the third quarter , you should order a couple more pitchers

    10.Honey ,come here ! watch me do a tequilla shot off of stephanies bare ass

    11. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, i dont think i'll ever change it again

    12. IF we're not going to have sex , then you have to let me watch the sports centre
     
  2. geestar20

    geestar20 Active member

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    Things most women will never say !!!!!!!...."Im sorry" or "It was my fault"
     
  3. flip218

    flip218 Moderator Staff Member

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    Your right ... I'm wrong :)
     
  4. Nephilim

    Nephilim Moderator Staff Member

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    "Holy shit that thing is huge!"

    Well, at least to me they won't................................
     
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2005
  5. flip218

    flip218 Moderator Staff Member

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    lol ... man your crazy.
     
  6. ddp

    ddp Moderator Staff Member

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    probably because it is not that huge!!!
     
  7. andmerr

    andmerr Guest

    huge , what about gi-normous.Then again your right she wouldnt even comment.
     
  8. Nephilim

    Nephilim Moderator Staff Member

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    My birth name is Hugh G. Rection ;)
     
  9. neewbie

    neewbie Regular member

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    There heaps good. :)
     
  10. Mr_Taz_UK

    Mr_Taz_UK Regular member

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    I have a headache, how about i just give you a bl()w job.
     
  11. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    "anal sounds like fun."
     
  12. Mr_Taz_UK

    Mr_Taz_UK Regular member

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    I got my new credit card today, but when I went shopping I couldn't find a single thing I wanted!!
     
  13. ddp

    ddp Moderator Staff Member

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    sounds like a female thing!!
     
  14. Mr_Taz_UK

    Mr_Taz_UK Regular member

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    Of course you can take your secretary on holiday! I'll stay home and decorate the house.

     
  15. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    "honey, while you were at work, i filled the fridge with beer, shot my mother, and rebuilt the Hemi in the Charger. happy anniversary!"
     
  16. Nephilim

    Nephilim Moderator Staff Member

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    "I admit I'm totally setting you up when I ask you if I'm fat"
     
  17. bbmayo

    bbmayo Active member

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    Ok heres my contribution..

    Ten things women will never say

    1. Could our relationship be more physical, I'm tired of just being friends.

    2. Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way.

    3. I think hairy butts are really sexy.

    4. Hey, get a whiff of that one.

    5. Please don't throw that old t-shirt away, the holes in the armpits are just too cute.

    6. This diamond is way too big!

    7. I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.

    8. Wow, it really is 14 inches long!

    9. Does this make my butt look too small?

    10. I'm wrong, you must be right again.

     
  18. bbmayo

    bbmayo Active member

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    Dont stop for directions I'm sure you will figure out how to get there... :)

    [bold]THINGS MEN WILL NEVER SAY[/bold]
    1. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfocker.
    2. No, I don't want another beer. I have to work tomorrow.
    3. Her tits are just way too big.
    4. Sometimes I just want to be held.
    5. That Rosie O'Donnell chick gives me a boner.
    6. Sure! I'd love to wear a condom.
    7. We haven't been to the mall in ages, let's go shop and I'll hold your purse.
    8. Screw Monday Night Football, let's watch "Ally McBeal".
    9. It's late. Put your clothes back on and I'll take you home.
    10. Honey, I'm going to the store, do you need more tampons?
    11. I know you just blew me, but I need a kiss.
    12. I'm sick of beer, give me a fruit juice with a lemon twist.
    13. Great, your mother's coming to stay with us again.
    14. I wonder if my gorgeous neighbor knows that her drapes are open when she's getting ready for bed? Maybe I should tell her.
    15. No way, you weeded the garden last week. It's my turn.
    16. Better get rid of these old Penthouse magazines. I don't look at them anymore.
    17. I understand.
    18. This movie has way too much nudity.
    19. Damn, we're late for church!
    20. No! I don't want to see your sister's new tits.
    21. Damn these onions, pass me a tissue.
    22. Put some panties on for Christ's sake.
    23. Eat something!! You are starting to look like a Victoria's Secret model!!
    24. Don't pick that up, I got it.
    25. Happy Anniversary!!!
    26. Hey, isn't today your mothers birthday?
    27. Let's talk, I miss talking.
    28. Gay men have rights too!
    29. I am just too tired to have sex again today!
    30. Are you losing weight, sweetie?

     
  19. neewbie

    neewbie Regular member

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    pretty good ones there.
     
  20. ddp

    ddp Moderator Staff Member

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    Five tips for a woman....


    1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

    2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

    3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

    4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

    5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

    Foot Note:

    One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:

    "If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."


    Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day !!!
     

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