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Worst movie ever

Discussion in 'Safety valve' started by roeod4, May 13, 2004.

  1. Sophocles

    Sophocles Senior member

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    The clouds began to thicken and the sky darkened while thunder could be heard rumbling in the distance. The rain became mixed with small hail stones and the wind howled through the old buildings. It broke into a whistle as it passed through the stacked lumber that awaited the barges that would carry it to the ports of New Orleans. Dickey looked to the workmen who had found a place out of the rain. He looked at them and one could easily see the cruelty that reflected from his uncaring soulless and vacant eyes. His lips curved and took the shape of something that was more grimace than smile. And it wasn’t unexpected that he would ask someone to enter into the shaft along the rollers that led to the now stalled saw blade.

    Usually quick to comply to a direction given by Dickey because the Sawmill was the only job in town, a wandering drifter had few options but to comply or leave hungry and broke. But for some reason the men now cowering in the shadows were having no part of this. Saying nothing the men slowed stepped back leaving Dickey red faced and standing alone as he stared at them with his soulless pig eyes. Then he heard a noise coming from the direction of the no stalled saw blades. He tried to look in to the shaft but it was too dark to see and so he stepped a little closer when a sudden flash of lightning illuminated the steel toothed blade for a moment.

    The expression on Dickey’s face changed from impatience to concern and then it happened. An enormous clap of thunder and a sudden burst of wind caused him to loose balance while at the same time freeing the saw blades which once again began to spin. Falling to his back with his legs spread he began to slide along the rollers that led to the now whirring saw blade. The turned away although they could hear the sound like that of a meat slicer cutting its way through a large roast beef. The men just stared but made no effort to lend a hand then they heard a sound like that of a choir boy. As soon as the storm came it ended and the thunder stopped and all was silent except for the whirring sound of the saw blade. THE END

    Now Does anyone have any real stories?
     
  2. Frozilla

    Frozilla Member

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    U were making stereotypes about women earlier, but buddy, i would have to say ur acting like a woman. U got way to emotional for a meaningless comment and turned it to a boring debate about "u struck first." P.S. I think Mark Twain already wrote this "story."
     
  3. Sophocles

    Sophocles Senior member

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    First I would like to say that if I'm your ideal of a woman then you have incredibly scary taste in women. Now, you name just one direct female stereotype that I've made about women. I don't even think that you have a reasonable grasp of what a stereotype is. The story I told although made up was done for fun and was completely original beyond a little exaggeration and a few cliches. I was born in New Madrid Missouri, along the Mississippi river, and my father worked at the, yes Sawmill (specialty pecan trees). On Saturday afternoons my mother gave me enough money to go to the movies, have a bag of popcorn, and a soda. Dickey Bodie was way to big to sit in the seats so he stood in the hallway and leaned over the divider between the seats and the hallway that led to the popcorn stand. He was not the monster I joked about but then no one really knew him because he kept to himself. He was born of a locally wealthy family. Now behave and try to have some fun.
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    _X_X_X_X_X_[small]"Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth." Sherlock Holmes (by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, 1859-1930)[/small]
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2004
  4. siber

    siber Regular member

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    Ahum,..why don't we come up with a list of the 10 worst movies of 2004...No woodchippers, no subtitles...Just regular fare.
     
  5. Nephilim

    Nephilim Moderator Staff Member

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    Ican't really comment on bad movies for 2004 because I've liked all the movies I've seen so far this year.

    "Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind" was a way cool head trip.

    "Kill Bill" was outstanding.

    "Shrek 2" was friggin' hilarious and every bit as good as the first one.

    I kinda wanted to see "Van Hellsing" but I heard it was a bit lame lame so I'll wait to rent.
     
  6. siber

    siber Regular member

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    Nephilim: it sounds like you've been lucky so far. I agree that the movies you listed probably wouldn't make the list. Although you never know...By now it's obvious tastes are unpredictable. There have to be some AD forum nuts who have seen some BAD stuff this year...I saw the build-up for 'The Day After Tomorrow'. It looked like it could have been the perfect set-up for a major dud.
     
  7. Sophocles

    Sophocles Senior member

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    I have to admit that I've seen very few new films this year (Saw Return of The King). I spent most of my viewing time watching older films, such as Citizen Kane, and The Day The Earth Stood Still. The year is still young and perhaps I will see something that I don't like but so far so good, or at least OK. BTW, some stinkers can make for hilarious entertainment.
     
  8. siber

    siber Regular member

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    So, no opinions yet on such promising titles like: Scooby Doo2, The Alamo, Hellboy, Jersey Girl, Starsky & Hutch, Mooseport, The Punisher, Johnson Family Vacation??
     
  9. Sophocles

    Sophocles Senior member

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    Never saw a one and I'm not really looking forward to any of them at this time. Truth is I haven't even heard of a couple of them.
     
  10. Nephilim

    Nephilim Moderator Staff Member

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    I saw Return of the King and liked it a lot. I thought Hellboy was decent enough too, nothing stupendous but not bad :) I've always liked Ron Pearlman since I saw "The City of Lost Children".
     
  11. hogan

    hogan Regular member

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    If you want to see a REALLY bad movie get Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Nothing on the planet worse.
    Hogan
     
  12. Bitcount

    Bitcount Guest

    "Eliminators" was so bad i must have lost a dozen IQ points watching it.
    And anything starring Frank Stallone is not worth moving beyond a script.
     
  13. Maryela3

    Maryela3 Guest

    Cinderella Story, the Pumpkets of I dunno what freaking place um SICK New York Minute with those twins and this crap about Oby or Coby something that was a secret agent in Highschool, Alien 51
    bring it On and Bring it on again are the Shittest crapiest of the crapiest movies of all da goddamn time i swear
    My favorite movies though
    Kill Bill1/2
    Scarface
    Scary Movie 2
    Killer tomatoes was funny as shit
    Maria =}
     
  14. roeod4

    roeod4 Regular member

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    Hogan,

    Attack of the Killer Tomatoes was funny as hell. How can you not watch that and just crack up laughing?
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    Last edited: Jun 3, 2004
  15. Prisoner

    Prisoner Guest

    The entire Killer tomato trillage is great. I even remember the cartoon, that was really funny. But everyone here likes differnt things I guess.
    Now gladiator, that was bad.
     
  16. jobel60

    jobel60 Member

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    I just have to get this off my chest. I watched the first Lord of the rings - loved it. I waited a year to see the second LTR - loved it. Waited another year. I left the cinema shouting obscenities.
    The ending was one of the longest, embarressing, gut wrenchingly sentimental end to a film I have seen in my life!
    No offence to the Americans but it was like the director just dragged out the film with the shitty romanticising ending to make it more palatable to people who get their kicks from weeping and wailing and admiring the dross that Hollywood now exports
    For reasons too long to explain I had to see it twice! I have never gotten over the experience. Even now some nights I wake up screaming " CUT! CUT! CUT! "
     
  17. siber

    siber Regular member

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    jobel65: you are not alone...The end of this movie was a total mess. Maybe they will come out with an "International Director's Cut - abbreviated" version. All kidding aside, I am really surprised not to have heard more about this glaring problem.
     
  18. siber

    siber Regular member

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    SIXTY. Sorry...
     
  19. geestar20

    geestar20 Active member

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    I loved Gladiator, that was a great movie, as for LOTR 3 that was also a great movie...but I didn't dig the ghost part's (it needed more realism)I know it's all myth and all but it just needed -ummm- fairness if that makes sense in the battle scenes.
     
  20. Nephilim

    Nephilim Moderator Staff Member

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    If we're talking sappy and totally useless, the first half-hour of the second Matrix was just that. If we'd seen some of Trinity's boobs it would have been worthwhile but that whole stupid party thing and the lame love scene shouldn't have even made it past the rough script. The time could have been better spent blowing shit up.
     

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