G'day Y'all, Happy reading..... and Yes I do have more important things to do,..... and yes I am busy !!!!!! Regards...Andmerr One must be politically correct > Subject: Christmas Party > > >> >> >> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director >> >> TO: All Employees >> >> DATE: October 01, 2004 >> >> RE: Christmas Party >> >> I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place >> on December 23, starting at noon in the private >> function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of >> drinks! >> >> We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing >> along. >> >> And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A >> Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. >> >> Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no >> gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving >> of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for >> employees! >> Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time! >> >> Merry Christmas to you and your family. >> >> Patty >> >> ================================================================= >> >> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director >> >> TO: All Employees >> >> DATE: October 02, 2004 >> >> RE: Holiday Party >> >> In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. >> >> We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often >> coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. >> >> However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." >> >> The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or >> those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. >> >> There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. We >> will have other types of music for your enjoyment. >> >> Happy now? >> >> Happy Holidays to you and your family. >> >> Patty >> >> ================================================================= >> >> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director >> >> TO: All Employees >> >> DATE: October 04, 2004 >> >> RE: Holiday Party >> >> Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous >> requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy >> to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, >> "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. >> How am I supposed to handle this? >> >> Somebody? >> >> Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the >> union members feel that $10.00 is too much money >> and executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy. >> >> NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED. >> >> ================================================================= >> >> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director >> >> To: All Employees >> >> DATE: October 05, 2004 >> >> RE: Holiday Party >> >> What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the >> Muslim holy month of Ramadan, >> >> which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the >> party! >> >> Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does >> not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. >> >> Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end >> of the party- or else package everything for you to take it >> home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work? >> Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest >> from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to > the >> restrooms. >> >> Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit >> with Gay men, each will have their own table. >> >> Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the >> person asking permission to cross dress, >> no cross-dressing allowed though. >> >> We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be >> available for those on a diet. >> >> We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people >> with high blood pressure to taste first. >> >> There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant >> cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry! >> >> Did I miss anything?!?!? >> >> Patty >> >> ================================================================= >> >> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director >> >> TO: All F***ing Employees >> >> DATE: October 06, 2004 >> >> RE: The F***ing Holiday Party >> >> Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep >> this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, >> >> so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," >> as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f***ing salad bar, >> >> including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. >> They scream when you slice them. >> >> I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I >> >> Hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, >> >> The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!! >> ================================================================= >> >> FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director >> >> DATE: October 07, 2004 >> >> RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party >> >> I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery >> and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. >> In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and >> give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay. >> >> Happy Holidays ! >> >> Joan >> >> *******************************************************************
LMAO....................... It has been a long time, but I have finally managed to track down another classic Christmas message. A message that EVERYONE should consider BEFORE entering into any drunken frenzy. Click on the link below, open up a smoothie, kick back and (if you feel the need, like I did) join in with the lyrics....................... And when they are done, click on the cracker at the bottom right hand corner for some education. Enjoy and take notes........................LOL http://www.playingsafely.co.uk/12stisofchristmas/12-STIs.html
