DVDs not playing in DVD player but work on computer. Flash firmware program for burner?

HI all. Ive been having constant problems getting my burner, softwaer, some combo to continue burning working dvds to play in normal dvd player. NOT just my computer, i bought the dvd burner and discs natrually to play in dvd player.

However, after alot of trial and error, and failures, finally was getting some to work, then again suddenly hardly any of them are working on dvd player again.
I have a hp pavillion notebook computer, 80GB harrdrrive, another 140 GB external HD, Windows XP PRo, SP2, and am using a brand new (one month old) Memorex DVD16+/-DL4RWID2USB burner.

I read someone says to upgrade firmware by downloading firmware update. So i visited the official Memorex burner website and downloaded "Flash Program for Memorex DVD16+/-DL4RWID2", and when opening the downloaded flash program it says JWS5. I hope im doing this right? Why doesnt the burner come with a selectable automatic update so we know were downloading the right update, as ive read it can be problematic if we use the wrong one?

So what is this flash program exactly, and why is it suggessted to do this? Why wont my friggin burner burn useable dvds now? They play on compuer using medai player but not on dvd player. Aarrrrggh.

And ive now even been using Verbatim DVD-Rs.