I think I have a problem... I tend to think about things way too much. It might be effecting my relationship with my fiance, good or bad... Anybody have similar problems? Or is there something seriously wrong with me?
Mate seems like you need to get somethings off your chest. I am hear to listen if you want however i can suggest seeing how this is a mostly a tech site i would advise you to go to relationship forums. www.plentyoffish.com you can go there they have forums you can really vent out... otherewise i am happy to listen...
When you are a teenager you worry about what people think By your early 40's you don't care what other people think.. When you get the other side of 60 you realise they haven't been thinking at all. Stop worrying about it and just chill out. What happens happens and there ain't nowt you or anybody else can do about it.
I appreciate the addvice. Just curious though do ya'll think there could be something wrong with me? It's worse today than it was when I posted this thread last night. Maybe I'm psyco or something...?
ok send me a private message and detail whats going on and if i can help i will not trying to blow my own trumpet but i am a youth worker and have counselled before.
Ok, I want to pm you but I don't know how. If you could would you please explain how. I feel I do need to talk. Noone will listen.
When's the wedding? Getting cold feet? You might want to postpone nuptials! Easier to do it now than after the "I dos"
The weddings a long time away so that she can concentrate on schooling. I love the girl with all my heart. I just think things need to be different in both our lives. Ya'll see I have a son he's almost a year old now, but I'm worried that see's not ready to accept having a child to care for. She's great with him but I think she just wants me not him too.
She's still at school and you have a kid already... I'm not surprised she isn't really that interested in long term commitment... Do you know how much people change between leaving school and turning 21? I wouldn't want somebody with a track record and the remains of a broken previous relationship hanging around.. (even at my age I can find nice single never married no ties guys who don't try to pressure me into marrying them or anything) Doesn't bode well for the future. I'm not casting any doubts on your character.. but rest assured her family will, and they will do it right to her face too.. and probably yours. C'mon.. how much older are you? If you are having problems with this now things will only get worse until something cracks. Time for some reality and soul searching.. You both need to be honest with each other without any date or time limit pressure... She's getting cold feet?.. I'm not bloody surprised.. I would be too. You can get married for all the wrong reasons.. clinging hopelessly to a dead relationship.. getting out of a crappy family home situation.. money.. that's great fun. Been there.. got the T-shirt, and the scars. The internet isn't the place to go looking for help with these things.. you tend to run into poisonous twice divorced single parents like me!
Yeah, as Varnull asks, how old are you? AND are you taking different precautions than you did with your previous girlfriend? All you need is another poor innocent child to put into the mess you seem to be in. You need to talk to someone in your life that you admire and trust, before you make any further mistakes. My brother-in-law raised his son by himself for a number of years until he remarried someone who didn't mind that he had a wonderful son, she also had a daughter and son of her own. They are still together 30yrs later. Varnull is right the internet is NOT the place to deal with this-it's the rest of your life. Seek help wherever you are in person, privately. And trust your instincts. They are usually right.
I don't know... I mean. It's hard to find someone that really loves you for who you are these days. I don't have a penny to my name. I ain't got anything useful to her. All I have to offer is me. And she loves me, I know she does. It's one of those things where you can look into someones eyes and see the truth. Oh no.. She's in her last year at school. But none of that is what I'm worried about really... I'm not even worried wether she loves me or not. I know she does. But what I mean by thinking about things too much in general is... Ok, everytime I post something or I'm online I'm at work. I work 12 hours a day and I don't get to see her unless I'm on my days off. So all we have to go by is talking or texting on the phone. That's not enough for me, it used to not be enough for her but... Lately she doesn't show enough intrest in me (meaning we don't talk to each other) for me to be satisfied. I talked to her earlier and explained EVERYTHING to her. She says that I shouldn't be worried. That she doesn't really see a change in our relationship. Do ya'll think maybe a little breathing space is what she's trying to get? I asked her about the marriage and she says she still wants me without a doubt. I straight up layed down the lines on the situation with her and my son. She said she already knew that, that she accepted that from the start. Seriously, Maybe I'm paranoid...
You still haven't said what age you are. And what is the big rush to get married? Why not just date for a couple of years? Or even live together?
there are always grounds for paranoia... always.. If it feels wrong now it will only get worse. Like Eva says.. just hang with it.. take this stupid marriage stress out of the loop. I'm having fun with somebody 22 years younger than me.. and it's great... But I'm a damn good catch and I know he will get bored and move on.....
Thanks for all yalls advice... I really needed a good venting chat with somebody. Thank you all. I feel better now.
Hmm, I have very similar problems. There's tons of reasons you can feel like this. Could stem from undiagnosed disorders, such as ADHD, OCD, Bi-polar 1 and 2, Anxiety, etc. I have been diagnosed with ADHD combined and Bipolar 2 disorder. If you need to really talk, pm me or find me on this forum.. http://www.addforums.com/forums/index.php That site has tons of info dealing with all types of issues, not just ADHD. You may find someone that shares the EXACT same feelings you do - this will help a lot! Other users have said, "just hang with it", and I highly advise not to do that. Things can end up getting worse. Look into it my friend. I went undiagnosed for years and because of that my life has been destroyed up until a few months ago. It's not bad to have a disorder, it's very common - so don't feel embarrassed. Tell me a little about yourself, have you always been like this? How did you do in school? Do you find yourself constantly worrying about things, then you let them eat you alive? Do you always have to do a routine and if you don't you go mad? Do you have extreme anger problems? Do you have racing thoughts? Are you outgoing or not very motivated? Do you abuse drugs or pharmaceutical/OTC drugs? Do you get flushed in the face and feel like it's on fire when worrying? I was the same way with ALL my relationships. Always worrying what they though about me or if they wanted to leave. I think a lot of that energy was displayed and drove them away - as well as my undiagnosed problems. I also went through g/f's like boxers and socks. I was constantly dating someone new all the time. I couldn't settle down at all. But then sometimes I would find myself really attached to them and couldn't let them go. Hard thing to explain, but look into some stuff on the net. Maybe you don't have any "true" issues and it's just a relationship thing - they can be very stressful.
Happy to hear you are feeling better and now can move on towerds what hopefully will be a good and fulfilling future... Nothing better than a reality check to get out of the loop is there. Hi Drags.. Looks like you cracked it sometime in the past too. Luckily it's a thing you only need to sort out once, then you know how to deal with it next time... speaking of which.. I need to go see the doctor for more pills.. I hate going there.
Yea, 50 bucks - with insurance thank god - just for some dude to ask me a couple questions about the meds, then give me a piece of paper for more meds - oh well, I feel much BETTER!
Yeah I went to the doc yesterday and found out the meds I'm taking cause paranoia! That's some crap! lol.
