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Brain Cramps

Discussion in 'Safety valve' started by andmerr, Jan 28, 2005.

  1. andmerr

    andmerr Guest

    Strangely MOST of these comments are from USA, but one Aussie does us proud !

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    Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
    Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,

    because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,

    but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

    -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest

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    "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the

    world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that,

    but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

    -- Mariah Carey, singer

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    "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of

    your life."

    -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for the

    Federal Anti-smoking Campaign

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    "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."

    -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky Basketball Forward

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    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates

    in the country."

    -- Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.

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    "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and

    I'm just the one to do it."

    -- A US congressional candidate in Texas.

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    "Half this game is ninety percent mental."

    -- Danny Ozark, manager of Philadelphia Phillies

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    "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

    -- Former president of American Motors, Lee Iacocca

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    "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like

    Norman Einstein."

    -- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst

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    "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of

    people."

    -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor

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    "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

    -- Keppel Enderbery

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    "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 2002, because we

    received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may

    reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

    -- State Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

    ````````````````````````````````````````````

    "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as

    they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And

    the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

    -- Mark S. Fowler, former Federal Communications Commission Chairman

     
  2. squizzle

    squizzle Active member

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    That's hilarious! Knee surgery was my favorite.
     
  3. ddp

    ddp Moderator Staff Member

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    the dead ones were good too
     
  4. Pop_Smith

    Pop_Smith Regular member

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    I like the football one, the dead ones, and the knee one :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2005

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