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Chinese Proverbs

Discussion in 'Safety valve' started by baabaa, Sep 14, 2004.

  1. baabaa

    baabaa Active member

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    Feel free to add your own, I thought these were hilarious....................

    Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
    Man who run in front of car get tired.
    Man who run behind car get exhausted.
    Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
    Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
    Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
    Man with one chopstick go hungry.
    Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
    Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
    Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
    Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
    War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
    Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
    Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
    It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
    Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
    Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
    Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
    Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
    Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
     
  2. Nephilim

    Nephilim Moderator Staff Member

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    And a wonderful collection indeed 'ol baabster.

    I especially like the midget in the elevator one :)
     
  3. baabaa

    baabaa Active member

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    Yeah, every so often I receive these on hotmail, apparently from a friend of a friend of a friend who I do not know....................

    But they do give me a chukle.............

    My favourite is:Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

    I am trying to rack my brains to think of some but so far zippo.............

     
  4. djcsurf

    djcsurf Guest

    Slight variation:
    Man who go bed with itchy bum wake up with smelly finger
     
  5. baabaa

    baabaa Active member

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    LOL......

    Man with bad breath needs to tell wife to have shower.
    Women with bad breath had good evening.
    Women never have headaches, just excuse for day off.
     
  6. zippyd

    zippyd Regular member

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    baabaa,
    just google for confucious and you should get a bunch sites whith variations of them. I put one in my sig.
     
  7. zippyd

    zippyd Regular member

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    man who make love in grass get piece on earth
    woman who fly plane upside down have big crack up
    man who fart in church sits in own pew
    man who smoke pot choke on handle
    woman should never marry basketball player, he dribble before he shoots
     
  8. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    man who let cat wander at night wake up with wolf in
    house.
     
  9. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    smart man keeps enemies close, friends closer.
    smarter man keeps friends close, enemies closer.
    smartest man changes his identity and flies to Guam.
     
  10. ddp

    ddp Moderator Staff Member

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    hey baabaa, watch out or you might have auslander in bed with you!!!
     
  11. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    he'll only find me there if his cat sleeps with him
     
  12. darthnip

    darthnip Moderator Staff Member

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    not really a proverb, but more like a fortune cookie...
    "that wasn't chicken"
     
  13. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    that could imply some scary stuff
     
  14. zippyd

    zippyd Regular member

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    Boy who go to bed facing stiff problem likely wake up with solution at hand.
    Man who walk with hands in pockets look crazy but feel nuts.
    Man who excels at putting worm on hook is Master Baiter
    Secretary not permanent until she screwed on desk.
    Man who loses key to lady's apartment get no new-key.
    Schoolboy who play with schoolgirl during wrong period, get caught red-handed.
    Girl who get asked to go camping must beware of evil intent.
    He who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own hands.
    Passionate kiss just like spider web - lead to undoing of fly.
    If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.

     
  15. ddp

    ddp Moderator Staff Member

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    zippyd, the last line reminds me when i was 10 years old at sick kids hospital in toronto & i had 3 student female nurses almost all to myself, 1 in the morning, 1 in the afternoon & 1 at night
     
  16. djscoop

    djscoop Active member

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    very funny...reminds me of this kid I used to know in high school who came to school everyday with a new Chinese Proverb. His were much lamer though. These are the funniest ones I've heard.
     
  17. zippyd

    zippyd Regular member

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    I think we've posted most of them. Others I continue to find are slight variations. Well I guess that's a lie because there are others that are lame.....
    Man who sit on tack get point.
    But we've got all the funny ones.
    I'm going to cry now, cuz baabaa's thread is now gonna wither and die ending up buried along with all the other dead threads.
     
  18. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    speaking of baabaa, where is he? i haven't seen any posts from him lately.
     
  19. zippyd

    zippyd Regular member

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    I guess since you stole his kitty, he decided there was nothing left to do but commit compuicide.
     
  20. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    i can't help it if his kitty loves me ;)
     

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