Don't Be a Menace to South Central Loc Dog: How much for these chips? Korean Woman: Das five dala! Loc Dog: Five dollars? Damn! I better get some sucky-sucky with that! Grandma: Ashtray! You little bi*ch ass mo*herfu*ker! Come over here and give your grandma a hug! EuroTrip Cooper: Oh, here it is. Bratislava. Hmm. Capital of Slovakia. Oh, here's a fun fact: You made out with your sister, man!
Bubba Ho-Tep Bruce Campbell playing Elvis: "I felt my pecker flutter once, like a pigeon having a heart attack, then it lay back down and remained limp and still." Shakes the Clown Mime Jerry: "Chuck you're not copping a feel on a big tittie lady, let's make a wall." Mime Jerry: "Tommy...the next time you lose that hat I'm going to shove it up your ass and it'll make it really hard to walk in the wind." Binky the Clown: They say the squeaky wheel gets the grease? Well I'm the quietest fusking wheel you've ever seen." Shakes the Clown: (about Binky) "I really don't mind that he's not funny, but what really bugs is that as a human being he's nothing but a lump of shit." I could go on and on about Shakes the Clown, and I won't even get started on Army of Darkness cause this thread would be a mile long. If any of you don't have Shakes the Clown...Get it! You will piss yourself laughing at it.
Jay and silent bob-strike back: Jay: I AM MASTER OF THE CLIT! Remember this fuc*ing face! Whenevery you see clit,you see this fuc*ing face! I make that shit work! No one rules a clit like me! Not this little fuc*,none of you little fuc*s out there! I AM THE CLIT COMMANDER! When it comes to business,this is what I do: I pinch it like this,oh you little fuc*,go rub it around my nose-oooh!
The whole first scene in Jay and Silent Bob where they're in front of the Quick Stop and singin the song. Couldn't stop laughing. Then the kid asks for a nickel bag and he says 15 bucks! Better be some bomb ass shit.
dogma [Bethany decides to accompany Jay and Silent Bob to New Jersey] Bethany: I want to go with you. Jay: What, steady?... OK, but Silent Bob has to live with us and you pay the rent. Jay: So what's up? You got a friend for Silent Bob, or are you just gonna do us both? If so, I'm first. I hate sloppy seconds. Bethany: You're a man of principle. Jay: Guys like us just don't fall out of the fu*king sky, you know. [Rufus falls out of the sky] Jay: Beautiful, naked, big-titted women just don't fall out of the sky, you know. Jay: Yo man, tell me something about me. Rufus: You masturbate more than anyone on the planet. Jay: Aw fu*k, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows. Rufus: When you do it, you're thinking about guys. [a shocked Silent Bob stares at Jay] Jay: Dude, not all the time Jay: I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fu*ked-up bar.
Don't forget about when Jay and Silent Bob are on the train and Jay wakes up suddenly and says "I didn't cum in you Pete, I swear."
o yeah that movie had for much funny sh*t in it. Van Wilder: Are you stalking me? Because that would be super. Van Wilder: What is wrong with people today? Hutch: [taking a hit from a bong] It's the internet, it fries their brain cells. Van Wilder: Take your clothes off. Gwen: I'm not taking off my clothes. Van Wilder: Well it is the naked mile run, everybody else is in their birthday suit. [A hairy naked guy runs by] Van Wilder: Except that guy Van Wilder: Crazy kids with their crazy VDs. Hutch: I've got a plan. Let's go get fucked up. Van Wilder: Sounds good. Van Wilder: Her name's Naomi. That's "I moan" backwards. Gwen: I'm doing a human interest piece... on you. Van Wilder: I'm flattered, I'd love for your piece to be on me. [looks up at the ceiling and sighs] Van Wilder: ... But sadly I don't do interviews, never have, never will. Do lunch though. Van Wilder: We'll be accepting donations in the form of cash, visa, and full frontal nudity. yeah 15 bucks for a nickle I better trip balls for 15 bucks
theres loadsa funny lines from Snatch.a few of my favs: -why do they call im the bullet dodger? -cuz he dodges bullets avid -i dont care if his names Muyhammed 'im ard' Bruce Lee -wha' proper fcuked? haha.
Tyler Durden: It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. Fight Club is one of the best movies ever made!
old school Mitch Martin: True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend... Beanie: Max, can you earmuff for me? We are going to get so much ass here, it's going to be sick. I'm talking like crazy boy band ass. [after learning he's going to be expelled] Weensie: Listen, this is a serious situation. I mean, I'm kicked out of school. I don't know what I'm gonna do, man. My mom's gonna kill me. Mitch: C'mon, she's not gonna kill you. Weensie: Yes she is. See, I'm the first one to go to college in my family and when I left she said, "Weensie, if you screw this up, I'll kill you." She showed me the knife. Beanie: You think I like avoiding my wife and kids to hangout with nineteen year old girls everyday? Peppers: You should pull that out. Frank: Wait, pull what out? Peppers: The dart. You gotta fu*king dart in your neck. Frank: [laughs] Y-You're crazy, man. You're crazy. I like you, but you're crazy. Mitch: A professor lived here for like thirty years and died. Beanie: That's awesome. Beanie: Don't beat yourself up over this, Mitch. It's not your fault. Dammit, Blue was old. That's what old people do. They die.
"There's nothin' like a nice red beaver!" - Jack Nicholson in "one Flew Over The Cukoo's Nest" "Viddy well my brother, viddy well." - A Clockwork Orange
south park Kyle: Wow! That's a lot of seamen, Cartman. Cartman: Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank, and then I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an alley. Stan: That's cool. Cartman: Yeah, and the sweet thing is, the stupid bumhole didn't even charge me money for it. He just made me close my eyes and suck on a hose. Cartman: I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie! Cartman: It's an Afghanistan goat, so it can't stay here, or else it'll choke on the sweet air of freedom. Cartman: Hippies.They're everywhere. They wanna save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.
One of my PERSONAL favorites: From the movie Hackers ---------------------- You wanted to know who I am, Zero Cool? Well let me explain the New World Order. Governments and corporations need people like you and me. We are samurai. The keyboard cowboys. And all those other people out there who have no idea what's going on are the cattle. Mooo! I need your help, you need my help. Let me help you earn your spurs. Ahh, think about it. Enjoy the laptop, "Cool"! Tell me where the disk is. ------------------------------------------------------- LOL! The best!
