FROSTY THE HIT MAN Frosty the hit man was a evil, psycho soul, with an Uzi and some frag grenades, and a heart as black as coal! Frosty the hit man was a fairy tale they say. He was made of snow, but the children know how he blew them all away. There must have been some magic in those bullets that they found... For when they put them in his gun he began to mow them down. Oh Frosty the hit man was as real as he could be. So he said, "You run, and I'll have some fun! I'll give you 'till the count of three!" He chased them down the streets of town right to a traffic cop. And murdered him in cold blood when he heard him screaming, "STOP!" Frosty the hit man had to run and get away. So he waved good-bye, shouting, "Run and hide! I'll be back again, someday!"
HOLIDAY RUM CAKE 1 or 2 Quarts Rum 1 TSP Sugar 1 Cup Dried Fruit 1 TSP Baking Powder 1 TSP Baking Soda 1 Cup Butter 1 TSP Lemon Juice 2 Large Eggs Nuts Brown Sugar Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Good, isn't it? Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check rum again. It must be just right. To be sure the rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanwhile, it's important to make sure the rum is of the finest quality - try another cup. Open the second quart of rum, if necessary. Add two arge leggs, two cups of fried druit and beat until high. If the druit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the rum again, checking for tonscisticity. Next, sift free cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn't matter). Sample the bum again. Sift one pine of lemon juice. Add one babblespoon of brown thugar, or whatever color you can find. Mix mell. Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Now pour the whole mess into the coven and ake. Check the thum again and go to bed.
WHY I WAS FIRED AFTER THE CHRISTMAS PARTY A letter of apology... When I came into the office this morning, I noticed a sort of general feeling of unfriendliness, and since several of you have called me a "dirty son of a bitch" to my face, I knew I must have done something wrong at the office Christmas Party. The Office Manager called me from the hospital today and as this is my last day, I'd like to take this way of apologizing to all of you. I would prefer speaking to everyone personally, but all of you seem to go deaf and dumb whenever I try to talk to you. First, to our dear and beloved boss, I am sorry for all the things I called you Friday afternoon. I'm very much aware that your father is not a baboon, nor your mother a Chinese whore. Your wife is a delightful woman, and my story of you buying her for 50 cents in Tijuana was strictly a figment of my imagination. Your children are undoubtedly yours too. About the water cooler incident, you'll never know how badly I feel about it, and I hope you didn't hurt your head when they were trying to get the glass jug off. To Mary, I express my deepest regrets. In my own defense, I must remind you that you seemed to enjoy our little escapade on the stairway as much as I did until the banister broke and we fell eight feet to the second floor landing. In spite of the rupture you incurred when I landed on top of you, I am sure you will admit that when we landed it was one of the biggest thrills you have ever had. Sam, you old cuss, you've just got to forgive me for that little prank I played on you. If I had known you were goosey, I'd have never done it. It would have been a lot worse if that fat lady hadn't been standing right under the window you jumped through. She really broke your fall a lot. People have been killed falling three stories. Gene, I regret telling the fireman it was you who turned in the false alarm. But, of course, I had no way of knowing they would make such a bad report of it. Those fire hoses sure have a lot of pressure don't they? And the water is cold!! Don, I know how you must feel about me. Opening the door to the broom closet suddenly must have startled you and Millie quite badly, and to think how hard you bumped your chin on the shelf when you bent over to pull up your pants, it makes me sick. We'll have to get together for dinner some night after the dentist finishes your plates. Nancy, the only excuse I can offer for stealing all your clothes and hiding them when I found you passed out in the ladies room, is that I was drunk. Also, I want you to know I was very embarrassed when I couldn't remember where I hid them and you had to go home in that old sofa cover. Running your falsies up the flag pole was a bit too much, but like I said, I was a little drunk. To all of you, I am sorry. Setting Jan's panties on fire seemed funny at the time, and it makes me sad to hear that her husband is divorcing her because of it. Urinating in everyone's drink was in bad taste, and not telling them about it until all the drinks were gone was even worse. Now that I have apologized to all of you and know that I am forgiven, I will do my damnedest to come to the picnic......
Its Christmas!!! Hope all the Members of AfterDawn have a very Merry Christmas! Dave PS. I know the sig is rubbish!!
Sorry I'm late dude... Merry Christmas. ...and merry Boxing Day. ...and merry December 27th, too. (I've been living in a hole with no internet connection for the last half year... my previous post was made in like may 2005 @0_0@ )
libenja now that ye got page one in ye sig when do we see page two? Signatures These rules exist to make viewing the forum as pleasant as possible to all users. Even though you might think signatures with large pictures look cool, some might find them extremely annoying. 1. Text-only signatures should have at most 5 lines of text. 2. An image-only signature should be less than 50kb in size, and be at most 500 pixels wide and 200 pixels tall. 3. If you use an animated picture in the signature, it should not be too distractive. Eg. blinking images or images with quick movement are not allowed. 4. If you want to use both text and image in your signature the image should not be more than 500 pixels wide and 100 pixels tall, and you can use up to three lines of text. 5. All the abovementioned rules for forum posts apply also to the signatures. Violation of these rules does not lead to an immediate ban. However if requested user must edit his or her signature to fit these guidelines.
My List... WD MyBook 1TB External Hard Drive (Trust me I need it) Parallels Desktop 3.0 Windows Vista Ultimate 2GB (2x1GB) DDR2 PC5300 SO-DIMM for my macbook Dell 24-inch Widescreen Flat Panel LCD Monitor with Height Adjustable Stand (I want 2 because I have a dual monitor setup...) 8GB iPhone I will most likely buy an iPhone, one of my monitors, the Ram, and parallels desktop before christmas! I love christmas... I will try to post a pic of my tree and house from last year!
