I was just thrown a curveball today. Hour to the Soc Sec office,hour waiting,and they don't accept birth certificates as proof of identity. They want either an original or certified copy of: PassPort-don't you need a birth certificate for that? Preschool-childcare facility Medical records-showing name and date of birth Health Insurance card with her name/date of birth Adoption record,showing DOB or parents name Religious record,DOB Military dependent Certificate of US citizenship or Naturalization. So another hr trip home,I called the ex and wanted kinzie's shots records. She said she already got kinzie's ss# and claimed her on 2008 taxes. She didn't get much more refund back because she didn't have any taxes withheld the little she worked last year.. HOLD ON! Court order monday said I claim kinzie 2006-2008.Ex had no problem with it. She said no big deal that she already filed and I could claim her in 2009 and 2010. Magistrate had us agree I get even yrs and she get odd yrs. Sounds like she lied under oath. She's under contempt already and it's only been 4 days since the final hearing. I figured it at $1825 that she's screwing me and left her a message on her bf's cell phone.She'll hear it sunday. I was told to file anyways and the IRS would get her. Still waiting on word from my attorney. I believe I have to put up with this BS for another 16+ yrs, UGGH! Unless 12/21/12 comes true?
OK. answering at the end but I did read the original post. Trying not do get too sidetracked. I am a single (male) custodial parent of my 7 yr. old. Although I did win custody of my child, mine was pretty easy because his mother was a (recovering now) alcoholic who clearly couldn't care for him. I live in California and regardless of how many judges and family counselors that tell me that gender doesn't matter, I will still believe that "All things being equal, aside from aggredious behavior on the part of the mother, she will win". In other words, ties go to the mother. MHO is to request custody mediation from your court. If you really want to have custody for custody's sake, have your ducks in a row. You will need to show how your child will be better off with you vs. the mother. Be prepared to drag her through the mud, but do it without emotion. If you feel that your mediator isn't giving you a fair shake, you are entitled to request another. My advice. Be calm, be respectful. Take the emotion out of it even though this is a highly emotional issue. IMHO, my ex-wife wanted my child as a "meal ticket". I am not saying that she doesn't love him. She loves him and he loves her very much, but IMHO, love alone doesn't provide a stable environment. He has been with me for 3 years now and is has not always been easy, but for the sake of the love of your child and his/her safety, you can do it. Writing this today, which is the day I start paying for summer day camp for him, which is going to set me back about $3600 USD. OTOH, my $1700.00 USD/month spousal support ends on 5/31/2009. Good luck to you. Please feel free to PM me for any additional words of encouragement. P.S. Re: Exemption. If you are entitled to 2008 just claim her if you have the court order to back it up. Let her explain it to the IRS when she's audited. P.P.S. Regarding fairness of the court, get this . . Even though I have physical custody and pay 100% of his expenses, I still have to pay her $206.00 USD per month in child support which I can pretty much assure you she doesn't spend entirely on him. At least she's not spending it on alcohol so I guess I can count my blessings there.
The ex has no phone.I can only get a hold of her via her bf's cell phone. Yesterday was the only time I bothered them.They got internet but no house phone? She hasn't changed any of her passwords, LOL! She's already hooking up with a boyfriend from last year that she still denies to this day. What would happen if an excon happened to see emails his gf messing around on him? Her kids have already said he hits her and my daughter. Now she threatened her own kids and said they are fibbing. She only wants kinzie as a meal ticket as well. She's gotta pay childsupport for her 3 kids and she hasn't payed a cent so far.She's still getting welfare and medical card and nobody can't figure out why the state won't do anything about it. She does not want to work. She also has to hand over the childsupport $ to her legal husband for the oldest which isn't his and she said it was BS. My work is totally screwing everything up.I took kinzie in with me to find out what's going on with my hardship to stay on days. They're all scared sh@tless because all the hourly associate cuts are done and now the salaried employees are walking the green mile. I'm waiting a few weeks before I file last yrs returns.She called this morning and I told her I'm claiming kinzie like the court order is to be written up. I told her she'll have to amend her return since it wasn't much of a $$ difference compared to my $1800+ federal and unsure of state.She didn't know how to amend it and I told her I have to amend 2006 and 2007 returns because her worthless ass wouldn't take care it in the last 2+ yrs. I asked her why she hates me so much for taking care of her and her kids for over 2 yrs.She made me get an attorney to get to see my daughter. I caught her in another lie when I said I had tape on her telling me that after she told me she never said that. She said that's illegal and her excon boyfriend yelling in the background that it's illegal. I told her I was bluffing,LOL. 4 days after the agreement,she's already in contempt. The factory isn't helping my cause,but around my county-there are very few jobs.There's been many times employess at Honda working the off shifts have to quit their $22+ an hr job just to keep their kid/s. More factories shutting down by summer. Siemens closed today and a large bearing factory shuts down in june thanx to Clinton's Nafta!!!!! The worthless non working mothers have a better shot at full custody than the hard working/clean/sober single dads that do work. Next court date: 8:45, am March 27. Still no sign of a judge. I'm still documenting everything.Haven't gotten any good tape footage,but now this has stirred her and her excon bf up,LOL! As soon as she starts losing all her child support $, I think she'll be booted out into the street,LOL!
"She didn't know how to amend it and I told her I have to amend 2006 and 2007 returns because her worthless ass wouldn't take care it in the last 2+ yrs." Not your problem. Let her figure it out. All I can say is that I feel for you and wish you the best. Try to take the emotion out of it when you go to court. Trust that the judge will see through the BS. One day when I was in court I saw the judge get pissed of at both the husband and wife because they kept raising their hands while the judge was speaking. When the judge is talking just keep cool and show respect by listening to what he is saying. If your ex starts talking s**t just keep cool and don't talk over her or even talk to her. Talk to the judge. I hope that you have a good judge and he will be able to figure it out. I'm not sure how it is in your county/state but you may want to try to get Child mediation going. Mine was easier because I had a restraining order on my wife and we didn't have to go to mediation together. Otherwise i would have had to sit with her during mediation and get into several he said-she said pi**ing contests. Keep it to the facts and you should look much better. God bless you and good luck.
When we went to the socalled 2nd Final hearing monday,at the end the magistrate asked the ex for her certificate of a parenting class that we were court ordered-but was separately.That hearing was suppose to be last dec 23 because she complained that she didn't have enough time to get an attorney. Well she didn't have that certificate.. She said she didn't have it on her. I pulled mine out to show, but the magistrate knew that I had taken the class. $40 a pop,25+ people in it so the counselors of that parenthood class made out like bandits,LOL. I can't picture the ex handing them any money,LOL. She still owes every cash advance/quick loan agency in the tri-county area. That can get her in contempt as well. She did get her new teeth-via welfare? Money for teeth but no attorney? She needs to get her priorities in order but you can't tell a kid anything.
Oops. Meant to address an earlier post. FYI, in the US Child support is not taxable to the recipient nor tax deductible for the payer. Spousal support on the other hand, is taxable and tax deductible.
In U.S. the payor is liable for the tax burden on any child support payments; any tax from alimony or marital support has to be paid by the receiver. I only know this from experience. To all of you who are being reemed by the system and an ex who seems to control every decision they make, take some advise; I divorced in '97 and paid a combined $335 a week in alimony and child support for my son. At every turn the court system sided with her, even telling me they wouldn't consider shared parenting because she wouldn't agree to it. She left town with him on my weekends, spent the child support money allocated for him on everything but him, tried to poison him against me, hauled me into court because my son and I had talked about him getting baptised when he was ready, and even refused to help out with taking him to Cub Scout meetings and drum lessons because it wasn't her idea. The best thing you can do while you fight through this is to be a mature, loving parent to your child. Take advantage of the time you have with them and don't throw them in the middle of your mess. Our children are smarter and more intuitive than we give them credit for; in the end they will be closer to you and respect you for the way you've guided and raised them. My son is 17 now; a few years ago he requested that he be allowed to live with me. I enjoy full custody, a great relationship with my son, who will be going away to college next year, and his mother, who pretended to the courts to be the perfect parent, hasn't called or had anything to do with him for almost 5 months running. She figured if she couldn't have it all, she didn't want any. Just put the kids first; everything else will work itself out.
Great sermon Rip! I always put kinzie ahead of myself. Her mamma's gotta be nice to me because she realizes how close she is to losing her to me. Her other daughter was at my house with her aunt a couple sundays ago. Kinzie's mom didn't even say nothing to her daughter rachel when she picked kinzie up. They changed their phone# for the 4th time in 10 months. Hope everyone's doing better than me right now. I've been battling some sort of nasty cold/flu for the past week. Caught it from kinzie last tuesday and haven't been able to talk the last 4 days. Started with dry cough,next day went to body aches/tiredness like the muscle flu,chills/sweating/fever for a couple days,then to a chest cold with a painful cough the last several days.Even my eyeballs hurt for 2 days. Throat's getting better,but still can't hardly talk. Cold/flu medicine hasn't done squat for me,LOL! I'm usually unbreakable. 1 cold/flu every 2-3 yrs.If I did get sick,it was very short and mild. This is one nasty bug that's getting around my realm.
