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Dick Cheney Shooting

Discussion in 'Safety valve' started by L-Burna, Feb 16, 2006.

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  1. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    a little smile from leno

    This just tells you how hard it is to be single nowadays... This was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno on September 7,1999. (I watched it and remember it well ed.) Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

    She said it was midwinter...snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of nowhere. Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

    They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the other side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants she realized that her rear was frozen to the fender.

    Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered her date's concerns about "what was taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and needed some assistance"!

    He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal.

    Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free so, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. Rescue accomplished, they returned to the car although for the remainder of the trip home there wasn't much conversation and apparently, despite their "intimate encounter," the two did not see one another again.

    As for the Tonight Show...she took the prize hands down... or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing...
     
  2. Rotary

    Rotary Senior member

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    muhahahaha

    classic
     
  3. Lethal_B

    Lethal_B Moderator Staff Member

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    Neph is taking a break. He took a break late November/early December. Came back recently and made a handful of posts but haven't seen him in a while. Same with flip..

    ireland suggested we may need a couple more mods to "crack the whip", and I think maybe he is right..
     
  4. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    i see this happen all the time..
    the mods get burned out after a while...or get stuck in a rut..
    i know that as that happen to me..all i did was chase and police the forum..instead of helping out those that needed help..
    because ye are a mod does not mean ye must be a police man all the time.if a mod is policing all the time..i feel he looses his way of thinking...then it get to him...they he leaves the forum...

     
  5. garmoon

    garmoon Regular member

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    Sorry I missed this thread last night. Democrats or Republicans the government stealthily moves on with each incarnation another liberty removed.

    "When nothing changes, nothing changes"

    bout sums the whole mess up.

    *thanks to the mods for keeping this going!
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2006
  6. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    [bold]BUDDY CHRIST[/bold]
    [​IMG]
    [bold]FOR PRESIDENT![/bold]
     
  7. LOCOENG

    LOCOENG Moderator Staff Member

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    @Ireland

    One could always take a demotion from mod back to addict or whatever the case may be, right? Even though it may not be a promotion in the first place.

    @JimDandy

    Welcome back. I've not seen you around before, but I hope to see you more in the future. Don't let a few bad seeds ruin the bowl.

    @aabbccdd

    I know I won't be talking politics with you in the future, but I always say "to each his own". And that's the way it should be.
     
  8. Deadrum33

    Deadrum33 Active member

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    Wow, this thread grew 2 pages since I ranted then slept. Unrelated note, I needed my rest because my band is doing our bigest show yet, a CD release party, in which AMI representatives and talent scouts from a few record agencies will be in my neck of Ohio USA!!! On topic, when you close your eyes you are blind. Why does it always come down to my way is right and screw all others? Whether it be Dem/Rep, conservative/liberal, Religious/ aethiest,cat/dog, sea lion/ sea horse whatever, people on one side wont SEE the others and when you close your eyes you are blind. OPENING your eyes to the big picture is the only way to feel alive.
     
  9. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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  10. ddp

    ddp Moderator Staff Member

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    2nd that!!!!
     
  11. pulsar

    pulsar Active member

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  12. weazel200

    weazel200 Regular member

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    Holy s*** Pulsar, that's f****** amazing. Sorry for my language but that video is very believable. Good on ya for finding that.
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2006
  13. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    sounds like typical US government action...kinda makes me thing of Roswell circa 1947...but what are we gonna do short of revolution?
     
  14. pulsar

    pulsar Active member

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    Last edited: Feb 18, 2006
  15. weazel200

    weazel200 Regular member

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    Those tapes were either destroyed by the FBI or there locked away in FBI HQ.
     
  16. pulsar

    pulsar Active member

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    No doubt we will be accused of being "pot smoking liberals" for making pertinent questions!
    Just try googling images for 9/11 Pentagon air crashes.....none! Weird.
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2006
  17. gamename

    gamename Regular member

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    @ rotary, good to see ya around. yeah im a senior now, seems like yesterday i was a newb. hope life is treating u good. thanks for all the advice. i dont see many of u guys around anymore. and buy the way ive read many of jimdandys post.
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2006
  18. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    knowing the FBI, they were destroyed. the people should have made copies before the Friggin' Big Idiots could get to them.
     
  19. jim_dandy

    jim_dandy Active member

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  20. weazel200

    weazel200 Regular member

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    So did they plan on doing this to the pentagon because they knew the WTC had been hit or was it unconnected to the WTC attack?
     
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