A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde". She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note. "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."
Once upon a time, there was a prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, the following year he was allowed to speak two words. (This was before the time of letter writing or sign language.) One day, he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes) and fell madly in love with her. With the greatest difficulty, he refrained from speaking for 2 whole years so that he could look at her and say, "My darling." But at the end of these 2 years, he wished to tell her that he loved her. So he waited 3 more years without speaking, bringing the total number of silent years to 5. At the end of these 5 years, he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited another 4 years without speaking. Finally, as the 9th year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden, the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said, "My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?" And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind her dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said, "Pardon?"
here are a coupla lames and funnies: _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- There were two sausages frying in a pan, one of them said to the other 'its a hot day today' the other said back, holey crap its a talking sausage....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH<!> Okay that joke sucked balls, heres another. _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- Little Johnny's class had a new teacher, this teacher wanted to try out her new psychology course on the class, so she said to the class 'everyone who thinks they are stupdi stand up' after a couple of moments little johnny stood up, the teacher said 'do you think you are stupid little johnny <?>' little johnny replied 'no miss, but i hate to see you standing there by yourself' _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- Little Johnnys class took a field trip to the local police station, on the wall there were pictures of some WANTED people, one of the kids asked the policeman 'are these people wanted' the policeman replied 'yes we have been chasing them for a long time' little johnny speaks up and says 'why the f*ck didn't you keep them when you took their picture' _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- Two priests were walking to the shower, naked, as there were supposably no nuns around... one said to the other 'you forgot the soap' so the priest (thinking there were no nuns) started back to get the soap, naked... as the priest was coming back from the place of residence with 2 bars of soap, three nuns walked out... the priest stood in the middle of a statue ground and the nuns walked up and thought he was a statue 'well look this statue looks so real'... as the nun was feeling the priest (unkowingly), she wound up feeling down south... as she touched, the priest dropped a bar of soap, the nun said 'oh<!> its a soap dispenser' the next nun came and pulled the YOU KNOW WHAT, the next bar of soap dropped... the third nun came and pulled, but no soap, so the nun kep pulling and pulling finaly saying [bold]'oh look hand-cream'[/bold] [bold]IF THIS JOKE OFFENDS ANYONE IT IS NOT INTENTIONAL, AND PLEASE DO FORGIVE ME AND DONT WRITE A OFFENSIVE POST SO THIS THREAD IS CLOSED BUT RATHER PM ME AND I WILL REMOVE IT[/bold]
its nice to know you can make someon lauph, but that sausage joke was pretty lame... _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- heres another lamey: what did batman say to robin when he wasn't in the Bat Mobile <?..?> => 'Get in Robin' _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- pretty funny eh <!..!>
@ Phantom, re the nun/priest joke, the way that some priests have abused children in their care & the cruel way nuns treated children in homes, nobody has room to complain! Keep 'em comin'!
i will try and find some more funny stuff... PS: someone stole my sig, if you see them, tell them off for me, cause i already asked he/she
