well auslander buddy, i havent seen you post a joke in the last 3 pages isnt it time you attempted it.lol
i pm'ed baabaa a while back, but no word. okay, a joke, eh? hmm...well, there once was a man from Nantucket...wait, i don't remember how that went. umm..yeah
I am posting this one as Auslander's proxy: (It may have been posted before, though. ) New Bird ---------------------------------------------------------------------- A lady went into the pet store to buy a bird. Immediately upon entering, she saw a bird cage in the middle of the isle, all ready to take home. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff!" The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in the living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought" that's really not so bad." When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, "New house, new madam, new girls. The girls and the woman were taken back, but then began to laugh about the comment considering where the parrot had been raised. Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith, came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Keith".
dont think the parrot could pronounce auslander, even i'm having difficulties getting my tongue around that one............lol
Smart Lawyer A mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him for ten million bucks. This bookkeeper happens to be deaf, so the Godfather brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million dollars is hidden. The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about." The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it and says: "Ask him again!" The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!" The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!" The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?" The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the balls to pull that trigger."
