"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week," "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself," ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?" The agent replies, "Just a minute..." "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. "How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" "I don't know But it sure made a hole in Juan." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?" "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bubba's Job Interview Bubba applied for an engineering position at a Lake Charles refinery. A Yankee applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the manager. Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Bubba and said: "Thank you for your interest but we've decided to give the Yankee the job." Bubba asked: "And why are you giving him the job? We both got nine questions correct. This being Louisiana, and me being a Southern boy I should get the job!" The manager said: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but rather on the one question that you both missed." Bubba then asked: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" The manager replied: "Bubba, it's like this, on question #4 the Yankee put down "I don't know." you put down, "Neither do I."
there ain't no smiles during rag week at my house, strawberry or otherwise. In fact, last month the closest thing that resembled a smile was the knot on my forehead, which oh by the way looked just like a strawberry.
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes" WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, ..go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 Models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: "$90,000" MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000" MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It 's really a pretty good price." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!" MAN: "Bye! I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....He smiles and ask: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
lol solargame. Jokes are just funny, even if you can figure the punchline, before the end of the joke.
I'll try to copy and paste better in the future -solargame- Until the next joke boys and girls.......Im off...SWWOOOSHHH!!!!
dont take it so seriously. were all here to have a good time. i was just telling you for future reference.
I didn't like the joke at all... the guy should have offered $950k as asked. Cheap skate! I hate him for that! And the joke!
i didn't realize it was a lark til the guy asks the others whose phone it was. i think there would have been hell to pay if that actually happened!
I am having trouble with some of these jokes, I just do not get them!!!! It could be because I am a lot like my president ...Bush. I am not the brightest bulb in the knife drawer......
BOY O BOY O BOY!!I thought this was a joke forum not a discussion forum I really enjoyed coming here & reading & posting jokes.Sure was disappointed when I got here this time,nothing but back talk.I don't get all the jokes either,I don't think they are all funny.But they are jokes!!!not discussions.Some people may like them
