How old/young are you (to all)?

@ Nephilim - My father died a little over 2 years ago; it was devastating but the legacy of a good man carries on. I know that sounds like a cliche but my mother and I went to his grave yesterday and we reminisced the wonderful years gone by and even laughed at how many things today make us remember him and smile.

Many more years with your dad, I hope, but if not make certain to cling to the memories. And make certain you tell him you love him!

 

Nephilim,

Sorry to hear that. It's difficult enough if it happens to someone you really care for but when it's your hero. You grow up as a kid feeling that they are "imortal" because they "are" your hero! You have one advantage I didn't have. You have some time, Use it to help him carry the load.

When Shelly died there was no warning. Two weeks before been she had been in the Hospital for a full Physical. She was 4.5 months pregnant with our first child so she wanted to make sure that she was taking good care of herself. She was the head Trama Nurse at that Hospital, so I don't have any questions about the competency of the Drs who did the physical. I also know now that had this happened on the operating table with a full staff waiting, she still would have died! I did get just a little crazy that first day which pretty much ended by my throwing a Police Lietenent down the front steps for asking some very inconsiderate questions in the wrong place and at the wrong time.

I just wished I had known something was wrong before it happened. We were kind of an odd couple to begin with. For one, we were a great deal different in our ages. She was 18 and I was 44 when we got married! She looked mid-twenties and I looked all of about 30 so people rarely ever asked. We looked and acted just like any young couple in love. of course I had already know her for over half her life although I really didn't physically meet her until she was 13. Looking back on our first meeting, I now understand what happened there, set the tone for the future. I met her at her Mom's work and her Mom, joking about all the years we talked on the phone, but had never met, introduced us. When we shook hands we both came away looking at each other as there was an "Energy" or something in that handshake that neither of us had ever felt before. It was so strong that we both stood there with a "What The Hell Was That" look on our faces. From that day on we always had that energy between us.

Now I look back and remember so much, so many special moments together! Had I had the time I guess I would have thanked her for that. Because of the strange (and beautiful) way we came together by her laying a lip lock on me out of the blue, She gave me the perfect Ice-Breaker. If we had an argument and she wasn't speaking to me, all I had to do was whisper in her ear, "well you had to kiss me didn't you", and we would end up in a pillow fight or wrestling around on the floor or something like that. By the time all the laughing was over, the fight and the reason for it was history!

I guess the point I'm trying to make is the hope that you will look back and see what the things were that made him your Hero and show him how much you appreciated and loved him when he did the things that made him that made him so special in your eyes! Then let him know how much you appreciate and love him now! It's a great gift and you have the time to give it!!! Play a little bit of "remember when" with your Dad. I think you will both enjoy it and it will be time well spent!

Sincerely,
theonejrs

 

Spend as much time with your dad as possible, and as theonejrs says try to take time to remember with him 'the good old days', it will ease your anxiety, and make you feel better. That way, he'll still be with you when he's gone. =]

 

Wow, some of the most helpful and considerate people seem to gather on this thread! It's also home to some of the oddest rubbish ever! A green woman with 6 b00b5. Intriguing, to say the least!

 

For sure, make the most of your time together (why I'm telling you that I've no idea...) and just remember, whatever happens, you got us!

 

we just found out my bride of 40+ wonderful years has a thyroid lump and is the cold type and i been going crazy..i can not think stright..
our love is so great we were as one,if anything happens to her..i know i will join her soon after..i been crying inside ever since we found out..

 

That's very touching Ireland, but life should still be worth living either way imo.

 

Yeah, good luck and all that. =]

 

Nephilim,

Amen to that!! Hope you get the 12 years and more!

Amen to that too! She was pretty remarkable! She took charge of her own life when she was 16 when she announced that she was getting her own Apt and going to Nursing School. Being as this was Texas at the time and you could get an apartment that young. Her Mom wasn't happy but signed for the Apt. She worked 3 jobs, finished High School and Nursing School.

Ireland,

I know exactly what you mean about "oneness"! As things turned out we didn't discover that until our wedding night. Not to that degree anyway! The World could have ended and we would have been the absolute last to know!

Sammorris,

I don't think Ireland means that he'll jump off a bridge but I do undestand what he means. After 40+ years of being an intrical part of each others lives you feel powerless and empty with news like that! I was very calm but like a lost soul when Shelly died. I think the thing that got me through all of it was the support from my Daughters and my first wife. They all loved her and I'm particularly grateful for that.

Happy Computering,
theonejrs

 

We got some good caring people on this thread. : )
It's good to see what people are really like, good to see they're not just a Username and a forum rank.

 

Absolutely, and threads like this re-affirm that.

 

@ Neph and Ireland hang in there buddies. My wife of 28 years had a bladder cancer removed 24 years ago when our daughter was 2 and she is nagging along (j/k) just fine. Still clean. There are many cancer survivors out there; your loved ones could be among them. But I know the thoughts you had, when you first found out, are the absolute worst. Try to stay positive as much as possible. It helps you and your family.

 

Goodness.

It seems as though the whole lot of you (we) are busting at the seams with goodness; kindness; the like.

That is a very good thing!

 

nephilim,

I second that!

theonejrs

 

@Lethal B: Yeah, U can laugh at me all you want Lethal.
Anyway, where in england are you? Im near oxford.

@Everyone else:I feel like I shouldn't be part of this, u guys are all like senior members and mods and stuff. Thats the only reason I go on like this;
http://forums.afterdawn.com/thread_view.cfm/355580#2099987