Lets Paint The Kettle Black (2) Do You Have A Bitch ? Put On Your Rubbers And Wade In.

Temptation
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived.

She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned.

I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

The moral of this story is...

"Always keep your condoms in your car."

 

A blonde heard that
milk baths would make her beautiful so she left a note
for her milkman
to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note,
he felt there
must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons.
So he knocked on
the door to clarify the point.
The blonde
came to the door and the milkman said, 'I found your note
asking me to
leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?
The blonde
said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up
with milk and
take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again.
The milkman
then asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde
said, "No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my eyes."

 

Don't read this if you are offended by "ethnic" jokes. hehehe. ;P


A Texan is walking through a field, sees a Man drinking water from a stock tank with one of his hands.

The Texan shouts,,,,,,,," Hey
don't drink that water,,,, It has cow shit in it!!!!!!!!!!!

The Man shouts back "Soy mexicano, yo no entiendo inglés. Hábleme español.".
(I'm Mexican, I don't speak English. speak Spanish to me)

The Texan shouts back,,,,,, "Utilice ambas manos, usted conseguirá más para beber."
(Use both hands, you'll get more to drink)


...gm

 

:O

 

Haha, that's hilarious.

 

good morning,anyone have a headache today?

ye think you have a bitch

6 Die From Brain-Eating Amoeba in Lakes
(AP) -- It sounds like science fiction but it's true: A killer amoeba living in lakes enters the body through the nose and attacks the brain where it feeds until you die."This is a heat-loving amoeba. As water temperatures go up, it does better,"

In Arizona, David Evans said nobody knew his son, Aaron, was infected with the amoeba until after the 14-year-old died on Sept. 17. At first, the teen seemed to be suffering from nothing more than a headache.

link to story
http://www.physorg.com/news110255496.html



Mountain Bike Hits 130.7 mph. On Snow
33 year old Austrian Markus Stoeckl has smashed the World Speed Record for series mountain bikes. Stoeckl, nicknamed "Hercules" because of his 6'4", 220 lbs. frame, broke the 8 year old record by 14 mph on a 2000 meter, 45 degree run in the Chilean Alps. Because of the extreme cold, Hercules had to hold his breath for the 40 second duration so his helmet didn't fog up.

link to story
http://blog.wired.com/gadgets/2007/09/bike-hits-1307-.html

 

wow ireland thats very strange!

 

@aabbccdd & Ireland ... yeah, I read that too. Very strange. It brings back some not so wonderful memories ...I don't know how old you are, aabbccdd, but Ireland must remember this: when I was a kid, Polio was the "AIDS" of those years. I had a couple of friends who contracted it. For a while, it was throught that it could be contracted from water so all the beaches, lakes and public pools at home were closed.

 

Whats scary is how fast it kills and that there is no known cure at the moment. My local paper said some labs have been able to slow the amoeba down but not completely stop it.

However, in order for it to attach to your brain water has to go completely up your nose. It can't get to the brain by you swallowing infected water.

Peace

 

YOU STILL THINK YE HAVE A BITCH?

The Net uncovers Myanmar secrets

p2pnet news | Freedom:- Inset in the bottom left corner of this photo is the, “brain of a young student who was beaten violently to death by soldiers of the junta found in the drain near No. (3) Tarmway high school,” says a post on Ko Htike’s prosaic collection.

He’s talking about the war being waged against the ordinary people of Myanmar by the ruling military regime, determined to maintain power in the face of ongoing demands for democratic reform.

LINK TO STORY
http://forums.afterdawn.com/thread_view.cfm/89/295688#3433525

 

@Ireland ... it truly is a sorry state of affairs. Most of us here are Brits, Canadians, Americans, Australians etc. with our own gripes about how each of our governments do things, I guess its important to step back every now and again to appreciate how lucky we all really are.

@Pop_Smith ... how are things going, meboy?

 

VERY GOOD ADVICE

Do You Sign The Back Of Your Credit Cards?

One of the most common ways to guard yourself against credit card misuse is to sign the back of your card, so that merchants can check the signature on your card with that on your ID. Right? Well, maybe not. According to financial blog The Tao of Making Money, the best practice is not to sign it.

Here's our official advice on signing the strip on the back: Don't sign it. It's useless as a deterrent, as anyone who takes your card then has a sample of your signature which they can not only use on any charge slip, but on your checks as well.

However, do not leave the white strip blank. In that space, write: "Ask For Picture ID,"

and be prepared to back that up someday when you're in a hurry and the clerk wants to see a driver's license as well as the card. It makes the charge transaction a little longer, but a lot safer.


I been doing it this way for years....

 

I've not been signing my cards because I keep forgetting to do it!

 

GOOD advice ireland as I've been doing that for years as well I just write....... SEE ID ...........

...gm

 

She was completely in the wrong!! I would have asked for a manager and if they still didn't take the card then they wouldn't have been paid. LOL. OH and leaving ZERO tip would have been the first thing on my list at that point as well.

...gm

 

Girl’s Arm Broken By School Guard For Dropping Cake. Then Things Turn Bad.

Remember the good old days when violence in our schools was caused by students?

Luckily, this was caught on camera. Of course, the girl who took the video was also arrested, as was the mom when she demanded the guard be arrested for battery. When is this kind of shit going to end?

Who will guard us from the guards? Here’s a list of an assortment of police and guard assaults from around the country.

WATCH VIDEO HERE
http://www.dvorak.org/blog/?p=13860

 

where can i buy a lanyard for the 3rd generation Ipod Nano Video?

A link please....cause my bitch is i cant find one.

 

@gerry1, things are going pretty well. I am preparing to submit a backup offer for my first client, hopefully this week, on a house he wants.

The house is currently being negotiated by another party but I can make a backup offer for my client in case the current deal thats being worked out falls though.

Other then that my friend got a new border collie yesterday. She is sweet but doesn't like the car. It was a 45 minute drive and she was drooling all over my lap the whole ride.

Luckily that was the worst of it her foster family (my friend adopted her) said that she gets car sick almost everytime she rides in the car.

Thats about it for today, hopefully things are going well for you gerry1

Peace

 

Ireland good post to follow up on this read this all and keep it!!

1. >>>>> > ATTORNEY'S ADVICE -- NO CHARGE
>>>>> >
>>>>> > Read this and make a copy for your
>>>>> > files in case you need to refer to it someday. Maybe
>>>>> > we should all take some of his advice! A corporate
>>>>> > attorney sent the following out to the employees in his
>>>>> > company.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > 1. Do not sign the back of your
>>>>> > credit cards. Instead, put "PHOTO ID REQUIRED".
>>>>> >
>>>>> > 2. When you are writing checks to pay
>>>>> > on your credit card accounts, DO NOT put the
>>>>> > complete account number on the "For" line. Instead,
>>>>> > just put the last four numbers. The credit card company
>>>>> > knows the rest of the number, and anyone who might be
>>>>> > handling your check as it passes through all the check
>>>>> > processing channels won't have access to it.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > 3. Put your work phone # on your checks
>>>>> > instead of your home phone. If you have a PO Box use
>>>>> > that instead of your home address. If you do not have a
>>>>> >PO Box, use your work address. Never have your SS#
>>>>> > printed on your checks. (DUH!) You can add it if it is
>>>>> > necessary. But if you have it printed, anyone can get it.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > 4. Place the contents of your wallet
>>>>> > on a photocopy machine. Do both sides of each
>>>>> > license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in
>>>>> > your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone
>>>>> > numbers to call and cancel. Keep the photocopy in a
>>>>> > safe place. I also carry a photocopy of my passport
>>>>> > when I travel either here or abroad. We've all heard
>>>>> > horror stories about fraud that's committed on us in
>>>>> > stealing a name, address, Social Security number,
>>>>> > credit cards.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > Unfortunately, I, an attorney,
>>>>> > have firsthand knowledge because my wallet was stolen
>>>>> > last month. Within a week, the thieve(s) ordered an
>>>>> > expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a
>>>>> > VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a
>>>>> > Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to
>>>>> > change my driving record information online, and more.
>>>>> > But here's some critical information to limit the damage in
>>>>> > case this happens to you or someone you know:
>>>>> >
>>>>> > 5. We have been told we should cancel our
>>>>> > credit cards immediately. But the key is having the toll free
>>>>> > numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom
>>>>> > to call. Keep those where you can find them.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > 6. File a police report immediately in the
>>>>> > jurisdiction where your credit cards, etc., were stolen.
>>>>> >This proves to credit providers you were diligent, and this
>>>>> > is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).
>>>>> >
>>>>> > But here's what is perhaps most
>>>>> > important of all: (I never even thought to do this.)
>>>>> >
>>>>> > 7. Call the 3 national credit
>>>>> > reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud
>>>>> > alert on your name and also call the Social Security
>>>>> > fraud line number. I had never heard of doing that until
>>>>> > advised by a bank that called to tell me an application
>>>>> > for credit was made over the Internet in my name. The
>>>>> > alert means any company that checks your credit knows
>>>>> > your information was stolen, and they have to contact
>>>>> > you by phone to authorize new credit.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > By the time I was advised to do this,
>>>>> > almost two weeks after the theft, all the damage had
>>>>> > been done. There are records of all the credit checks
>>>>> > initiated by the thieves' purchases, none of which I knew
>>>>> > about before placing the alert. Since then, no additional
>>>>> > damage has been done, and the thieves threw my
>>>>> > wallet away this weekend (someone turned it in). It
>>>>> > seems to have stopped them dead in their tracks.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > Now, here are the numbers you always
>>>>> > need to contact about your wallet, etc., has been
>>>>> > stolen:
>>>>> >
>>>>> > 1.) Equifax: 1-800-525-6285
>>>>> >
>>>>> > 2.) Experian (formerly TRW):
>>>>> > 1-888-397-3742
>>>>> >
>>>>> > 3.) Trans Union: 1-800-680-7289
>>>>> >
>>>>> > 4.) Social Security Administration
>>>>> > (fraud line): 1-800-269-0271