Lets Paint The Kettle Black (2) Do You Have A Bitch ? Put On Your Rubbers And Wade In.

THIS POST IS COMING FROM THE BEDFORD PA.MOUNTAINS USEING A XP-POOP LAPTOP..FROM MY SUMMER HOME.. THERE ARE 8-BITCHES IN THIS POST,ENJOY


EIGHTH PLACE:

In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water
after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve
his car keys.


SEVENTH PLACE

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran,"
accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.


SIXTH PLACE

Buxton, NC : A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into
the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21,
dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a
beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him
beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks, used their
hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of
Woodbridge, VA , but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy
equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on. Jones
was pronounced dead at a hospital.

FIFTH PLACE

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, as he fell face-first through
the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the
long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed
into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

FOURTH PLACE

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del , as he won a bet
with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets
into his mouth and pull the trigger.

As Ron White often says: "You can't fix stupid." These people prove it is a
terminal condition. As always, competition this year has been keen.

THIRD PLACE

The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree in Washington, DC
appeared to be the robber's first (and last), due to his lack of a previous
record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:

1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms; A gun shop specializing in
handguns.
2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.
3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol
car parked at the front door.
4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before
work. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and
fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.

The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, the police officer with a
9mm GLOCK 17, the clerk with a 50 DESERT EAGLE, assisted by several
customers who
also drew their guns, several of whom also drew and fired. The robber was
pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators
located 47
expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23
gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No
one else was hurt in the exchange of fire.


HONORABLE MENTION

Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife
Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their
car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and
tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently
failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP

TACOMA, WA . Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one
of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma
Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated
and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM Upon
arrival
at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a
bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed
out that a coil of lineman's cable lay near by. One end of the cable was
secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His
fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the
ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy salt water and was
rescued by two nearby fishermen.

"All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that
night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never
located.


AND THE WINNER...

Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his
constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged- up pachyderm finally
let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing
elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The
sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation
knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a roc k and
lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of
him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. With no one
there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a
watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems to be just
one of those freak accidents that proves... "!@#$ happens."

HAPPY BIRTDAY BILLYBOB SEE YE ALL
CHEERS

 

They're not bitches, they're Darwin awards, and they're awesome!

 

we have some members that continue to leave and come back under different nicks all the time they attack the members in there shoutboxes, heres some of the nicks there using now

deadlove aka janrocks this is what she posted in my shoutbox

I come back to pick on anally retentive assholes, obsessed twats and complete losers. Unfortunate for you that you couldn't take a joke a long time ago and made it personal. Live to regret that for we are legion.You will feel the wrath of the damned crawling under your skin every waking moment.and she posted some very nasty pics from rotten.com

this guys posted there too

K_Mitnick aka Daniel_G and The_Fiend

varnull , I'm not sure who he is

and gOOn

so is this ok? mods

 

Shardel
Glad to see you still have a sense of humor.

I can empathize with the situation. I lost the nail on my big toe a couple of times. To relieve the pain caused by the blood under the nail I took a tiny drill bit and with my fingers turned the bit back and forth, maintaining a light pressure, until a tiny hole was made to release the blood. I disinfected the bit over a flame and by using alcohol. A couple of stiff drinks to act as a pain killer also helped. In my mind it beat forcing a red hot paper clip through the nail.

sammorris
To win a Darwin award would be a real bitch. LOL

Happy birthday billybob.

 

THanks pacman, im off downstairs to see what ma famillé have bought me

 

Morning all. NO bitch for today!

 

My bitch for the day: Walked to the train station and back in order to meet a friend. In doing so, I now have a blistered toe, AGAIN. I have got to replace these shoes.

 

billybob
Happy Birthday-before you light those candles better make sure one
of them isn't a stick of dynamite.
Pacman
The stiffest drink I've had in my life is Diet Dr Pepper. After two
stiff drinks I'd probably just load the gun and shoot it off. Since
I'm on heavy blood thinners that should solve all my problems
I forgot-
Ireland
Welcome back-I've missed your stories.

 

I can't say I drink alcohol much at all, but I've developed a liking for these. Forget Red Bull, if you want to stay up all night, get these!

 

Former 49ers coach Bill Walsh dead at 75
By JANIE MCCAULEY, AP Sports Writer 29 minutes ago

SAN FRANCISCO - Bill Walsh, the groundbreaking football coach who won three Super Bowls and perfected the ingenious schemes that became known as the West Coast offense during a Hall of Fame career with the San Francisco 49ers, has died. He was 75.
Walsh died at his Bay Area home early Monday following a long battle with leukemia, according to Stanford University, where he served ascoach and athletic director.
Walsh didn't become an NFL head coach until 47, and he spent just 10 seasons on the San Francisco sideline. But he left an indelible mark on the United States' most popular sport, building the once-woebegone 49ers into the most successful team of the 1980s with his innovative offensive strategies and teaching techniques.
The soft-spoken native Californian also produced a legion of coaching disciples that's still growing today. Many of his former assistants went on to lead their own teams, handing down Walsh's methods and schemes to dozens more coaches in a tree with innumerable branches.
Walsh went 102-63-1 with the 49ers, winning 10 of his 14 postseason games along with six division titles. He was named the NFL's coach of the year in 1981 and 1984.
Few men did more to shape the look of football into the 21st century. His cerebral nature and often-brilliant stratagems earned him the nickname "The Genius" well before his election to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1993.
Walsh twice served as the 49ers' general manager, and George Seifert led San Francisco to two more Super Bowl titles after Walsh left the sideline. Walsh also coached Stanford during two terms over five seasons.
Even a short list of Walsh's adherents is stunning. Seifert, Mike Holmgren, Dennis Green, Sam Wyche, Ray Rhodes and Bruce Coslet all became NFL head coaches after serving on Walsh's San Francisco staffs, and Tony Dungy played for him. Most of his former assistants passed on Walsh's structures and strategies to a new generation of coaches, including Mike Shanahan, Jon Gruden, Brian Billick, Andy Reid, Pete Carroll, Gary Kubiak, Steve Mariucci and Jeff Fisher.
Walsh created the Minority Coaching Fellowship program in 1987, helping minority coaches to get a foothold in a previously lily-white profession. Marvin Lewis and Tyrone Willingham are among the coaches who went through the program, later adopted as a league-wide initiative.
He also helped to establish the World League of American Football — what was NFL Europe — in 1994, taking the sport around the globe as a development ground for the NFL.
Walsh was diagnosed with leukemia in 2004 and underwent months of treatment and blood transfusions. He publicly disclosed his illness in November 2006, but appeared at a tribute for retired receiver Jerry Rice two weeks later.
While Walsh recuperated from a round of chemotherapy in late 2006, he received visits from former players and assistant coaches, as well as California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sen. Dianne Feinstein.
Born William Ernest Walsh on Nov. 30, 1931 in Los Angeles, he was a self-described "average" end and a sometime boxer at San Jose State in 1952-53.
Walsh, whose family moved to the Bay Area when he was a teenager, married his college sweetheart, Geri Nardini, in 1954 and started his coaching career at Washington High School in Fremont, leading the football and swim teams.
He had stints as an assistant at California and Stanford before beginning his pro coaching career as an assistant with the AFL's Oakland Raiders in 1966, forging a friendship with Al Davis that endured through decades of rivalry. Walsh joined the Cincinnati Bengals in 1968 to work for legendary coach Paul Brown, who gradually gave complete control of the Bengals' offense to his assistant.
Walsh built a scheme based on the teachings of Davis, Brown and Sid Gillman — and Walsh's own innovations, which included everything from short dropbacks and novel receiving routes to constant repetition of every play in practice.
Though it originated in Cincinnati, it became known many years later as the West Coast offense — a name Walsh never liked or repeated, but which eventually grew to encompass his offensive philosophy and the many tweaks added by Holmgren, Shanahan and other coaches.
Much of the NFL eventually ran a version of the West Coast in the 1990s, with its fundamental belief that the passing game can set up an effective running attack, rather than the opposite conventional wisdom.
Walsh also is widely credited with inventing or popularizing many of the modern basics of coaching, from the laminated sheets of plays held by coaches on almost every sideline, to the practice of scripting the first 15 offensive plays of a game.
After a bitter falling-out with Brown in 1976, Walsh left for stints with the San Diego Chargers and Stanford before the 49ers chose him to rebuild the franchise in 1979.
The long-suffering 49ers went 2-14 before Walsh's arrival. They repeated the record in his first season, with a dismal front-office structure and weak-willed ownership. Walsh doubted his abilities to turn around such a miserable situation — but earlier in 1979, the 49ers drafted quarterback Joe Montana from Notre Dame.
Walsh turned over the starting job to Montana in 1980, when the 49ers improved to 6-10 — and improbably, San Francisco won its first championship in 1981, just two years after winning two games.
Championships followed in the postseasons of 1984 and 1988 as Walsh built a consistent winner and became an icon with his inventive offense and thinking-man's approach to the game. He also showed considerable acumen in personnel, adding Ronnie Lott, Charles Haley, Roger Craig and Rice to his rosters after he was named the 49ers' general manager in 1982 and the president in 1985.
"Bill pushed us all to be perfect," Montana said years later. "That's all he could handle as a coach, and he taught all of us to be the same way."
Walsh left the 49ers with a profound case of burnout after his third Super Bowl victory in January 1989, though he later regretted not coaching longer.
He spent three years as a broadcaster with NBC before returning to Stanford for three seasons. He then took charge of the 49ers' front office in 1999, helping to rebuild the roster over three seasons.
But Walsh gradually cut ties with the 49ers after his hand-picked successor as GM, Terry Donahue, took over in 2001. Walsh was widely thought to be disappointed with John York, DeBartolo's brother-in-law who seized control of the team in 1998 and presided over the 49ers' regression to the bottom of the league.
But Walsh stayed active through his posts on various advisory boards, plus writing, lecturing and charity work. He also became more involved at San Jose State, directing a search committee to hire a new athletic director and football coach in 2004, and served in various leadership positions at Stanford.
Walsh wrote two books and taught classes at the Stanford Graduate School of Business.
"I'm doing what I want to do," he told the AP in an interview in 2004. "I hope I never run out of things that interest me, and so far, that hasn't happened."
He is survived by his wife, Geri, and two children, Craig and Elizabeth.
Walsh's son, Steve, an ABC News reporter, died of leukemia at age 46 in 2002.
A Very Sad Day For Niner Fans...

 

It's a sad day for all football fans. He was a fantastic coach.

 

This one's for Eric
Force dedicates Funny Car win at Infineon to Medlen, and Oakdale on emotional day
By KELLY JONES
kjones@modbee.com

SONOMA — This one was for Eric Medlen and the city of Oakdale.
That's who John Force dedicated his Funny Car victory to Sunday in the Fram Autolite NHRA Nationals at Infineon Raceway.
Medlen's spirit was with the Force team and, indeed, everyone at the facility who remembered the late driver throughout the weekend. Medlen, who died in March in a testing accident, won the Funny Car race for the Force team at Infineon last year.
Force made sure it stayed in the family. He defeated Del Worsham by one-hundredth of a second in the final round, hitting 320.58 mph in 4.831 seconds on the quarter-mile track.
"This win today is for Eric," Force said in Victory Lane, a comment immediately received by cheers. "It was for his dad John, for his mother, Mimi, and it was for Oakdale. That's where the kid was from.
"Oakdale, you're all here. You rallied around us at a time we needed it."
Force went on to say that Medlen was a bull rider, then stopped himself, as if he was remembering seeing Medlen, a high school rodeo champion, rope calves.
"I don't know what he did — he did everything," Force said. "He gave everything he had. Today I don't have any more to give."
Top fuel driver Tony Schumacher won for the first time in his fourth finale at Infineon, beating Bob Vandergriff, who fell to 0-10 in career final-round appearances.
Pro Stock top qualifier Greg Anderson reached 50 career wins with his seventh victory of the season, beating Jason Line in the final. Matt Smith beat Eddie Krawiec in the Pro Stock Motorcycle final for his third win of the year.
But the day belonged to Force.
After an emotional day in which he beat daughter Ashley in the first round, Force delivered powerful heartfelt messages in post-race interviews.
He climbed a chicken-wire fence up to the grandstands, a la Tony Stewart and Helio Castroneves, to celebrate with the fans. Seemingly running on the last of his adrenaline, Force credited the fans and his crew chief, Austin Coil, for pushing him through the day.
"It's just unbelievable the support, the family members, the fans," Force said. "And it's just all of a sudden, like Coil said to me, 'Force, if you're going to get tired, now is not the time to get tired. Suck it up and win this race and do your job on the starting line. And win for this kid who gave his life for this team and for these fans and give them a moment, today, to feel good about Eric.' And that's what we did."
The victory was Force's seventh at Infineon Raceway and first since 2002. It was his second victory of the season and 124th of his career. He moved into seventh place in the championship standings. But what really made it special was winning in Medlen's backyard, following Medlen's victory here last year.
"At our drivers' meeting this morning, we all prayed, and John Medlen led prayer," Force said. "And we said, 'Robert (Hight), Ashley, we're going out of here, one of us, with a win for Eric.' "
John Medlen could barely get through the crowd after the finish, stopped by fans who recognized him and wanted to take their picture with him. Medlen said Force's win was "fantastic."
"That's our favorite place to be, the winner's circle," Medlen said. "It's a great thing."
Schumacher was looking forward to going home for the first time in three weeks and spending time with his three children. He said he knows how Vandergriff feels since he was in eight finals before winning his first one.
He pointed out that Force was in nine before winning one. With his Schumacher's four championships and Force's 14, they haven't done too bad, he said with a smile.
"I told (Vandergriff) it was an outstanding race," Schumacher said. "The cars were even to the very end. Whatever broke (in his car) broke. I'd told him he'd have a lot of finals and 'You'll win one day. Keep your chin up.
"You can't get down.' He'll have his chance."

Eric Medlen was a Local Hero...He is the only Driver in the Last 38 years of NHRA Funny Car Competition to lose his Life while Racing...

 

That fiery redhead is back you rekon? Now there's a woman who runs hot 'n cold.... hence the reference to Legion I guess. Wish she was at my place, she'd put the old spark back into this old ticker of mine... But I'm not sure if I can sleep with one eye open all the time though. LOL

 

To be quite honest, the first part of that post was bad enough:

That's all I need to hear.

 

WOW sam!!! Simple, short, and to the point. I like it!!!

People (i use that term loosely.... ) I think the petty crap has got to end, there will always be differences in opinion on a myriad of subjects. I don't think this kind of behavior is healthy or accomplishes anything but creating animosity between members (remember we're all people, with feelings and stuff...lol).

I say if you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all, that includes everyone. If you can't get along or don't like such-in-such then stay away. I GUESS THAT'S TO SIMPLE, but it could be effective.

...gm

Legitimate complaint for the last week or so. My car was rear-ended, completely their fault, but the damage isn't bad. The father of the girl that rear-ended my car has decided to take it to the lawyers. I only want my car fixed!!! I took him 3 "estimate quotes" ranging from $400-$850!! I wouldn't have even been this nice but his daughter pleaded us to be nice and keep the cops out of the deal because she didn't want to be a "statistic". What does that mean?? You can't drive so therefore you don't want to take responsibility for your actions?? Come to find out the guy is a LAWYER, I hate lawyers, just for this reason. GGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

Anyone got advice on this?? I was told to just turn it in to "insurance" and they would handle everything, I guess that's why we have insurance??

On the advice: open forum is fine but if it gets to long or in depth just PM me. TIA.

 

That sucks, but unfortunately is a side-effect of the increasingly letigious society Americans, and indeed the british have become.

 

Part Quote by GM..

Good point(s) also Greensman, if someone pushes your buttons, let's not forget that, that it's ourselves who allow it to happen. Christ it helps to have a good sense of humour though.

 

and what gets me noone gets banned over this stuff. hell i get banned for breaking the rules. they break the rules and don't get banned.whats happening to this place

 

I'm not going to enter into that argument, but I don't think that's exactly true, and I don't think it's exactly wise mentioning it.

 

edited by ddp