Lets Paint The Kettle Black,Do You Have A Bitch On Whats Going On Around The Site Or Any Thing Negative To Report

this would be gerry1's bad luck


http://jokes4all.net/funpics/flying_elephant.jpg

 

My God gerry it's only a picture. Don't shoot your little pecker off! It's not worth it! LMFAO

 

LMAO Gerry . sorry bro

and Ireland Always has an answer how to fix things

 

smile time

Why aren't rednecks circumcised?
They need a place to put the tobacco when they shower.

An infinite number of rednecks, in an infinite number of pickup trucks, firing an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs, will produce all the great works of literature - in Braille.

How do you know when your staying in an Arkansas hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person at the front desk says "go ahead."

How can you tell if a redneck is married?
There is tobacco spit stains on both sides of his pickup truck.

What is a Redneck's defense in court?
"Honest your Honor, I was just helping the sheep over the fence."

Two good ole boys, Billy Bob and Joe Bob were hunting one a sunny day. Now Joe Bob was not the brightest person in the world. They came up on a pretty young girl sunbathing in the nude.

Billy Bob jumped up and said, "Boy, she looks good enough to eat."

So, Joe Bob shot her.

 

Lmfao

 

@Ireland,
Ya fergut to mention about the wun about our zoos, Right beside the sign describing the critter, its habitat, its mating practices and its range, is a sign tellin' 'ya how to cook the darn thing.

 

@Ireland ... I've decided to try something similar: I wiped off what I could. There is a product known as a "fixant" which is meant to be used to "fix" (like a clear seal) so that you can use another medium on top of it. We'll see what happend!

LMOA...no sympathy from you guys!...except maybe aabbccdd, greensman and Ireland LOL!

 

ETIQUETTE TIPS FOR REDNECKS

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

- A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.

- Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.

- Be considerate of your guests. Point out in advance where the injury-threatening springs are located on the sofa.

- If your dog falls in love with a guest's leg, have the decency to leave them alone for a few minutes.



DRIVING ETIQUETTE

- Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.

- When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.

- Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape.

- When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

- Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.

- Do not remove the seats from the car so that all your kids can fit in.

- Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.



THEATER ETIQUETTE

- Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.

- Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

 

One should be careful when blasting their little pecker. LOL I was just catching up on the thread and couldn't resist. LOL

 

ireland now I know ye is sicker than most. LOL.

...gm

Good afternoon to all............

 

My bitch:

I didn't pass my damn test again. Missed it by 4% (about the same as the first time I took it) I got 66% and you have to get 70%.

Also, they don't tell you what you are screwing up on in anyway. They don't tell you ANYTHING about your results other then that you didn't pass.

I think its garbage, how the hell do you expect me to pass when I can't fix my mistakes? I felt as if I knew 99% of the test, I even went over it twice.

Oh well, dunno what to do now. Guess I will just have to look at the stuff and study again then hope I pass it.

Peace

 

So yesterday our school was evacuated because someone tipped off our local police about I pipe-bomb that was placed in the gym that was going to go off at 9:15 AM. The scary thing is that the whole school was going to be in the gym by 9:00 AM for the graduating Senior awards. There would have been 2,000 students plus a few parents in the gym at that time.
At about 8:30 sergeant Bruner of the Longview Police Department got on the intercom and said “Students and staff, this is Sergeant Bruner of the Longview Police department, at this time we are asking you to evacuate the building. At this time we aren't going to be following the normal evacuation rout. Everyone is to exit the building from the back, and to move onto the football field. This is not a drill.” Right after he got off the intercom the fire alarm sounded.
My class room was towards the front of the building and when we looked outside there were at-least 9 squad cars with police officers bunkered being them. We then filtered our way threw the halls towards the back of the building. When we got outside there were several police officers directing us towards the football field. We then herd one of the officers radios go off and say “1842 Bomb Squad ETA 44 minutes”
After we heard that the questions started flying. All we were told then that there was a report of a bomb being inside the gym. About 4 minutes after being outside our local Special Task Force team arrived. The bomb squad arrived at about 9:25. They immediately went into the gym. At about 10:15 we were told the building was clear and to go to our first period classes. The senior awards were canned.
The only thing that we have been told is that there was no pipe bomb in the gym and this was just an act of terrorism. And that it was a student who reported the bomb. We were then told that the student responsible will tried and will face 20 too life if convict because they are considering this an act of terrorism.
So that was my day when there was supposedly a pipe bomb in my School. I will post more when I find out.

 

Domreis - Thats too bad to hear people get there whole lives thrown away simply because of a threat, although it is a pretty bad one.

Well, I found something out. I remembered a few portions of the test that are NOT in my outline but its due to my outline being over a year old.

I found an updated one and I can tell it would help a bit. Probably enough to make up the difference to pass me.

I will probably take the test again in two weeks and hopefully, with a better targeted study, pass it.

Peace

 

I am sorry you didn't pass that test...

I have an idea of the person who made the phony phone call... and if it was who I think it was they threw there life away a long time ago!

No big bitch today besides the fact that I am bored...

 

@Pop_smith ... keep studying and try again my friend! Don't let yourself be disillusioned by a few rough spots. (Easy for me to say, I know, but sticktoitiveness is always worth the effort).

@Domeris...it unfortunate what happened at your school; there are always wisea$$s at every school but you wrote

While I certainly don't condone what they did, that seems a bit excessive. Working in a government office building, we get bomb threats with some regularity.

I once did something that cleared out entire building! We have a small kitchen at the office and all I did was leave the room and my toast burnt and set off the fire alarms. Because of the size of our building, they sent an aweful lot of firetrucks, ambulances etc. with a thousand or so people standing out in the cold. Talk about feeling dumb LOL! ...all over burnt toast LOL! The big shots I work for were none to happy though because they had to pay a fine. That was in 2001 and my coworkers still bust my gonads over it LOL!

@Ireland ... you must be the world's greatest researchist; I wouldn't have a clue where to begin finding jokes about dead peckers LOL!

 

quote gerry1
@Ireland ... you must be the world's greatest researchist; I wouldn't have a clue where to begin finding jokes about dead peckers LOL!

we have a room build just for the below..


if ye see me set-up i have,running 3-computers at the same time.my bride use's 2-computers of her own..my bride is a medical researcher for a group of doctors numbered in over a hundred.that alone is a hell of a job..we input data daily..
we have 4-printers..to print the stuff she brings in..to mail out to the doctors.or requested to be put on cd's.

the ifo we have are on a ton of external drives is in the terabytes

also i have a side job,i have a corporation i owned for over 40 years.
and to think i am retired

 

Will ye post pics of ye setup...

 

Domreis
i just took this pix,not all whats there is listed..and i did not clean it today..and i have to use boob tubes because of my eyes.

the area is 7-ft x 7ft i use for my set up to its right is a bathroon which is 7 x 13 feet
total size of the room is 20x20

 

That's one major set up there ireland. xD