Lets Paint The Kettle Black,Do You Have A Bitch On Whats Going On Around The Site Or Any Thing Negative To Report

LOL! We've had enough fights to last us a lifetime! I won't let a rank amateur bait me into a fight ... I only fight with a worthy opponent but I suspect ddp's lightning will strike before the twerp can reach an acceptable level of expertise LOL!

 

how to take lighning to heart...

A little kid walks to and from school each day. One morning the weather was bad, with threatining clouds forming as he made his daily trek to primary school.

In the afternoon, a gale was brewing as was the coming thunder and lightning.

The kid's Mother was very concerned that her son would be fearful as he walked home, and god forbid anything should happen to him on the way home with such an electrical storm...

Following the roar of thunder, lightning would cut through the sky like a flaming sword.

Full of concern, the Mother quickly decided to drive along the route her kid goes to school from.

As she did so, she saw her little boy walking along, but at each flash of lightning, he would stop, look up and smile.

With each crash of thunder and then lightning, the little boy would look at the streak of light and smile.

When the mother's car drew up beside the child, she lowered the window and called to him, "What are you doing? Why do you keep stopping?"

The child answered, "I am trying to look nice. God keeps taking my picture."

 

@Ireland ... that had to be the corniest one yet LOL!!

 

GERRY1 NO WONDER YE DO NOT DRIVE TO WORK

Basic Rules For Driving In Philadelphia:

* A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the construction barrels.

* Turn signals are just clues as to your next move in road battle so never use them.

* Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you no matter how fast you're going. If you do, the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

* The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

* Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work.

* Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to insure that your antilock braking system kicks in to give you a nice relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates.

* Construction signs tell you about road closures immediately after you pass the exit but before the traffic begins to back up.

* The electronic traffic warning system signs are not there to provide useful information; they're just to make the Turnpike look progressive.

* Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.

* Speed limits are arbitrary figures to make PA look as if it conforms with other state policies; these are given only as suggestions and are readily enforceable.

* Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that the driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

* Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic on the Parkway.

* Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even a person changing a tire. If you're lucky, you may see the unwitting breakdown victim get mugged.

* Learn to swerve abruptly. Philadelphia is the home of the high-speed slalom driving thanks to PENDOT, who put potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

* It is traditional in Philadelphia to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes. The state is founded upon such traditions.

* Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.
* All unmarked exits on the Parkway lead to downtown Philadelphia.

Philadelphia DRIVING - GOTTA LOVE THE CHALLENGE!

 

Granny with a Gun



Defense Attorney:
>Will you please state your age?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>I am 86 years old.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April1st?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>There I was, sitting in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring
>evening, when a young man comes creeping up and sat down beside me.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Did you know him?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>No, but he sure was friendly.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Then what happened?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>He started to rub my thigh.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Did you stop him?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>No, I didn't stop him.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Why not?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>What happened next?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>He began to rub my breasts
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Did you stop him then?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>No, I did not
>stop him.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Why not?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in
>years.
>
>Defense Attorney:
>What happened next?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laiddown and told him
>"take me, young man, take me now"
>
>Defense Attorney:
>Did he take you?
>
>Little Old Lady:
>Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot the little
>bastard.

 

@Ireland ... that is all correct but you forgot one ... exits in the far left lane followed though by a hairpin turn which you hit at seventy miles an hour LOL!

 

@Jack
Warms my heart to know I am an exception to the 'no personal attacks' moral of yours

@Wolfboy
Come on IRC, you're never on

 

RIPPER!!!

And the one about the exepetion for Nicht.

Jesus kid, your hilarious, im cracking up. I like your sarcastic attitude, and ur blunt...like me

 

having a off day!

 

Hey Billy ;-)

Rihgt, a day off from what? If you mean aD or computers, sorry to break it to you, but you've failed. If you mean work/school, then lucky you. I, on the other hand, have a science modular exam today so that gets my bitch!

 

Rofl.

Good luck ripper.

 

HOLY COW look who's made MOD!!!!! Congrats I guess Lethal. NOT the most appreciated job here at AD.

@Ripper,
You be nice to all the little kiddies. hehehe.

@Aus,
Nice to see you "stop" by for a post.

@gerry1,
Be sure to take your Medimucil or whatever keeps you regular, that way you're not all bloated and agitated. hehehe.

OK my B!TCH of the day!!!! For some reason I didn't get an update for the last page and a half. NOT a life altering complaint but GEEZ I missed so much. LOL.

....gm

@rihgt682,
all will be ok, just take it in stride and remember life is as good or bad (hard or easy) as you make it.

@Nicht,
You wanker.

OK I'm done now.

 

Lethal B, Congrats, at least we have a mod with a foreboding name...
I wonder if he has polished his big red ban button yet?

 

Wooohoo.....the door to corruption has been opened....

(Pinky n the brain...gotta love it )

 

Trust me lethal, I won't let out the secret that the big red button which is rumoured to exist is actually an anatomically correct male nude statue, and the ban function is accomplished by pulling down on something not normally found on a Ken doll (Barbie's ex-boyfriend by the way) The Senior mods still have the older serial port version, which doesn't light up when activated, nor does it imitate the act of passing gas when the said offender is nuked.

 

Greensman wrote:

Blivet wrote:

O.K. guys, what is it with this freudian preoccupation with the body's more fundamental functions and basic anatomy? Yesterday I posted a link to an article about 40% less circumsicions in the U.S. Blivet speaks of Barbie and Kens dilemma because Ken doesn't have a pee-pee and poor Barbie is left to her own devices (see Ezekial 16:16 ... I knew that being an ex seminarian would come in handy for something LOL!)

 

Billy, thanks, it went fine.

Greensman, no, I don't like playing fair

Hi everyone.