My new Philosophy of Life: Anti-Repetitiveness

I thought it would be fun to start sharing our favorite recipes.

 

NightSurf
MIGHT BE A REDNECK CROSSDRESSER IF...



- You go to family reunions to meet guys.

- You wear a dress that's strapless and a bra that ain't.

- You wear combat boots with a minidress.

- You wear jeans with a belt buckle that's bigger than your fist.

- You have a Ford F150 pick-up truck, with a gun rack, a Dale Earnhardt license plate frame, and a Confederate flag on the tailgate, next to the bumper sticker that says "I sell Avon Skin-So-Soft."

- You try to wax your legs with Turtle Wax.

- You braid the hair that sticks through your fishnet stockings.

- Wear a black John Deere baseball cap with pearls.

- You use glitter to highlight your mustache.

- You wear tube tops with your mini, because it shows off your Harley-Davidson tattoo.

- Your favorite band ring came off a cigar.

- You keep spare ammo in your bra.

- You get a run in your stockings while changing a tire on your motorhome.

- Your purse is a toolbox.

- You pluck your eyebrows with a pair of needle nosed pliers.

- You store your lipsticks in a socket-wrench box.

- You use duct tape to keep your "tuck" in place.

- You call your vanity "your work bench."

- You use a pocketknife to sharpen your lip and eye liners.

- "Doing your nails" means sorting the ten-pennies from the sixteen-pennies.

- Your favorite leather skirt was made from the moose you shot last Fall.

- Your new sandals are made from truck tire re-treads your found on the road.

- You keep a spare lipstick in your toolbox.

- You wear a pair of C-clamps as screw-on earrings.

- Your best silver necklace is made from beer can pull-tabs.

- Your nail enamel is made by Rustoleum.

-. You use paint thinner to remove your makeup.

- Your moisturizer says "non-detergent SAE 10W30" on the container.

- You remove your leg hair with duct tape.

 

I may wear panties but I am NO redneck, dangit!

BTW - it IS PW....found that very pic in Mythopokeian (horribly misspelled, no doubt)last night.

 

[bold]NightSurf:[/bold]

NightSurf can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. NightSurf was chasing the Tyrannosaurus Rex.

When NightSurf wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for NightSurf.

NightSurf doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures NightSurf has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with NightSurf.

NightSurf is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

NightSurf is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

NightSurf counted to infinity - twice.

NightSurf is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

NightSurf’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

There is no such thing as global warming. NightSurf was cold, so he turned the sun up.

NightSurf can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

NightSurf doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

NightSurf gave Mona Lisa that smile.

NightSurf can slam a revolving door.

NightSurf does not get frostbite. NightSurf bites frost.

When NightSurf does push-ups....He isn't just pushing away, He's bench pressing the Earth!

NightSurf does not sleep. He waits.

NightSurf' tears can cure cancer, but NightSurf doesn't cry.

 

okay so lets reveiw...your anti-repetitive, you've never heard of the RIAA, you like Patrick Woodruffe, your a crossdresser (but not a redneck, dangit), and you can change chuck norris jokes so they say things about you. did i miss anything... oh wait you also wanted to share recipes with us, cant forget that one. in my opinion i think you ought to be hit in the head with a brick.

 

Didn't you get the memo?

All that animosity is behind us now.

We are all great friends and will be at your house this Saturday for poker. Vegan snacks for me, please.

 

as long as jan brings some of her russian made vodka then we are on for poker saturday night. lol see ya soon

 

Polyarny,back on topic

NightSurf,RIAA MPAA recipe he use's at his RIAA MPAA parties or as a every day snack...

Witches Dried Brew recipe


Serving Size: 8 - 10 sneaky snackers. Recipe by: NightSurf

Ingredients:

* 1 C. blood drops
* 1 C. owl eyes
* 1 C. chicken toenails
* 1 C. colored flies
* 1 C. cat's claws
* 1 C. dead ants
* 1 C. chicken gizzards
* 1 C. bat bones
* 1 C. ghost noses

Directions:

Mix all the ingredients into a large bowl (cauldron). You now have a great party mix for 8 - 10 sneaky snackers! Don't forget to remind them what they are really eating! HIH note: hehehe... I like the dead ants and ghost noses!

 

Don't forget the dipping sauce:

Equal parts:

Greasy, grimy gopher guts.

Marinated monkey meat.

Little tiny squirrel feet.

(shake, don't stir)

Bon Apetite !!!

 

All garnished with a liberal sprinkling of dried grated goat testicle!!

Anyone for boll**ks ? (Smegma Willies Old Cheezy brand...only the best!)

And thanks for the PW..Haven't seen his name since he did the lighting and stage design on a Strolling Bones tour a few years back.

 

NightSurf Medical Plan from the RIAA MPAA

You know you've joined a pretty cheap a@@ health plan when...

Pedal-powered dialysis machines.

Use of antibiotics deemed an "unauthorized experimental procedure."

Head-wound victim in the waiting room is on the last chapter of "War and Peace."

You ask for Viagra. You get a Popsicle stick and duct tape.

Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.

Exam room has a tip jar.

You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in.

"Will you be paying in eggs or pelts?"

Tight budget prevents acquisition of separate rectal thermometers.

"Take two leeches and call me in the morning."

The company logo features a hand squeezing a bleeding turnip.

Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle.

Covered post-natal care consists of leaving your baby on Mia Farrow's doorstep.

Radiation treatment for cancer patients requires them to walk around with a postcard from Chernobyl in their pocket.

"Pre-natal vitamin" prescription is a box of Tic-Tacs.

Chief Surgeon graduated from University of Benihana.

Directions to your doctor's office include, "take a left when you enter the trailer park."

Doctor listens to your heart through a paper towel tube.

Only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is "an apple a day."

Only participating Physicians are Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine.

Only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

Plan covers only "group" gynecological exams.

Preprinted prescription pads that say "Walk it off, candy ass."

To avoid a time consuming and expensive throat culture, the doctor just French kisses you.

Recycled bandages

You can get your flu shot as soon as the hypodermic needle is dry.

Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to goodwill last month.

24-hour claims line is 1-800-TUF-LUCK

Costly MRI equipment efficiently replaced by an oversized 2-sided copier.

Enema? The lavatory faucet swivels to face upward.

 

Stooges Rawq!!!

 

yo laddie.....

Thou wilt fall backward when thou hast more wit.

Now go away or I will taunt you a second time.

http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/

 

I am more than a little confused.

OK fair comment. Then a little later

So you think that buying a dvd, cd or whatever then watching it only ONCE is the smart thing to do.

I make $30 an hour blah blah blah! And so what! We are all making far less than the minimum wage. (If thats the case then we cannot afford to pay for these dvd's and cd's)

And all this to avoid "dancing for the man" What dance? What man? And what the hell are you going on about. And just because people make minimum wage this does not make them stupid. This tells me that they will do, what they have to do in order to get by. Much respect to them all.

 

whoa dude, relax

are you not familar with or do you not understand the phrase "Dancing for the Man"? I mentioned it as a posiible explanation as to why someone would want to spend so much time and effort in order to avoid spending $15-$20 on a dvd. If the satisfaction makes it worth it ...more power to them.
I referenced "Bucking the System" and even gave the shopping analogy. It basically means conforming. The "Man" in this case would be the music industry I guess, or those organizations that I didn't know existed but should have known given the huge amounts of money involved. In my naivette I actually thought the music industries efforts were limited to bitching about it on the news and paying people to seed bogus files on Kazaa and Limewire in order to frustrate people into buying instead of pirating, or suing a few P2P users to create fear of sharing.
I am all for "Sticking to the Man" btw. I am just not willing to cut my finger off to poke him in the eye with it.

If that wasn't clear....Google it? I dunno.

And I certainly didn't say anything disrespectful to wage categories of any kind. How on earth did you get that?

And I meant buy them if they are a "bmyhes" (examples given) and watch them as many times as you want. geez.

Chill man...

it was a sleep deprivation induced rant that was supposed to be humorous

I have an extremely odd sense of humor so the fact that it failed miserably should surprise no one, especially me.