Where Did All The Old Timers Go, A Public Meeting Place For Open Discussion

Lethal_B · May 12, 2007

LATER YE ALL

German man found dead in bed - after 7 years

The decomposed corpse of a German man was found alone in his bed after nearly seven years, police in the western city of Essen said Thursday.

What if he wasn’t alone when they found him? I think that would have been really weird.

The police said in a statement the man was 59 and unemployed at the time of his death. He most likely died of natural causes on November 30, 2000, the date he received a letter from the Welfare Office found in the apartment, police said.

Next to the dead man’s bed police found cigarettes, an open television guide and Deutschemark coins, which came out of circulation after the euro was introduced in 2002.

“No one missed him. No missing person report was ever filed,” the police said.
http://www.dvorak.org/blog/?p=11382
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I'd hate to die alone, with no-one giving a damn..

billybob · May 12, 2007

I'd hate to die alone, with no-one giving a damn..
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Its ok Lethal, ill be there. It may not be in the manner or way that you think i will be but one way or another....ill be there.. *evil cackle: muahahahahaha*

ireland · May 12, 2007

GOOD MORNING

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"

One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."

Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."

There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."
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gerry1 · May 12, 2007

Good Morning All! More bathing and polishing of my toys today.

@Ireland...you know I love religion jokes and catholic jokes! Especially the top one with the large family. My Dad is the youngest of 18 (ore was it 16; I don't remember)LOL! They were farmers though so you either had a lot of kids or you hired people. A lot of them died young also; my Dad will be 101 in June so most of his brothers and sisters were born in the late 1800s and medicine left much to be desired in those days ... probably paid the doctor with chickens LOL!

ireland · May 12, 2007

gerry1 do ye remember nephs quote about his 10 doller Hooker and heres the reason his meds do not work

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j4/n-a_photos/funny_big.jpg

gerry1 · May 12, 2007

LMAO! That's disgusting; she must have broken ever bone in his body save his legs! I always wonder how people that big manage with certain biological functions but they're curiosities I can't voice in a thread LOL!

billybob · May 12, 2007

they're curiosities I can't voice in a thread LOL!
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Lmao.

ireland · May 12, 2007

AFTERNOON,

USA>>>CHECK THIS OUT TO LOCATE CHEAP GAS IN YE STATE OR TOWN,BY INPUTTING YE ZIP-CODE

LINK
http://www.gaspricewatch.com/new/default_V3.asp

ireland · May 12, 2007

evening

Two blondes with hammers, Margie and Donna, were doing some carpentry
work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Margie, who was nailing down house
siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and either toss it
over
her shoulder or nail it in.

Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing
those nails away?"

Margie explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them
have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away."

Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't
defective! They're for the other side of the house!"
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An Amish woman was driving her buggy to town when a

highway patrol officer stopped her.

"I'm not going to cite you," said the officer. "I

just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the

back of your buggy is broken and it could

be dangerous."

"I thank thee," replied the Amish lady. "I shall

have my husband repair it as soon as I return home."

"Also," said the officer, "I noticed one of your

reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles.

Some people might consider this cruelty to

animals, so you should have your husband check that

too."

"Again, I thank thee. I shall have my husband check

both when I return home."

True to her word, when the Amish lady got home she

told her husband about the broken reflector, and he

said he would install a new one

immediately.

"Also," said the Amish woman, "The policeman said

there was something wrong with the emergency

brake."
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gerry1 · May 12, 2007

The 21st century Amish:

Off to Chinatown for some Peking Duck ... I'm going to break the diet in style tonite. Have a good night all!!

billybob · May 13, 2007

Oooo i love chinese.

Amish are similar to plymouth bretherins?

gerry1 · May 13, 2007

@billyboy ... if you love chinese, then you MUST try Peking Duck someday; it kind of pricy though.

I don't know what they Plymouth Bretherin are but I'll look them up tomorrow ... I broke my reading glasses and can't see up close; in fact, I'm typing from about five feet away LOL! I've got another set of reading glasses at the office though.

The amish are of German origin but since they've been here so long, their german has become a dialect of its own which they still speak all the time. Their a very regid religious bunch who believe in a "simple" life which, ironically, is anything but simple. They don't believe in electricity, cars, telephones or anything modern. They still get about in horse and buggy. Many, probably most, are farmers but they plow their fields with horse and plow. You have to laugh sometimes because they'll take a modern tractor because of all the different farming attachments it pulls, they'll remove the engine and all the "heavy" stuff from it and you'll see a horse pulling the tractor through the fields. It's pretty funny. They live about an hour west of Philadelphia (Lancaster County) so all the tourist companies have busses several times a day that leave Philly to go and gawk at the Amish ... you can't help but feel sorry for them sometimes because they really hate being a tourist attraction. Much of their lifestyle is outside regular legal authority but they're such a peaceful bunch that they authorities just leave them alone.

ireland · May 13, 2007

good morning all,

gerry1 go to ye favorite dollar store and pick up a pair of reading glasses,

i use them all the time instead of using a bifocal in my glasses...
i got tired of lifting my head up trying to use the bifocal.to read whats on my computer

gerry1 · May 13, 2007

@Ireland ... that's what I do too! I usually buy a dozen pairs and leave them all over the place but I've run out. I probably have 20 pairs at the office now LOL! I wear only one contact lens in my right eye, the other is fine (better than fine) for distances but my close up vision is atrocious. As you know, I got into a nasty accident long ago; another in the list of injuries I sustained was "traumatic cataracts" which is treated the same way as any other cataracts but a different cause. I see great for distances but my up close vision sucks without glasses ... it left me light sensitive too but not too bad. (Bifocals really suck when it comes to using a computer as you stated.)

The eye surgeon gave me one really great tip though: when using a computer, use reading glasses that are one half the strength that you'd use to read a book. I know it sounds strange (to some anyway) but it works like a charm. I use 3.5 regularly but for the computer I'll use 1.5 - 2.0.

Happy Sunday everyone!

ireland · May 13, 2007

afternoon,

A lot of folks can't understand how we came
to have an oil shortage here in our country
~~~
Well, there's a very simple answer.
~~~
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
~~~
We just didn't know we were getting low
~~~
The reason for that is purely geographical.
~~~
OUR OIL is located in
~~~
ALASKA
~~~
California
~~~
Coastal Florida
~~~
Coastal Louisiana
~~~
Kansas
~~~
Oklahoma
~~~
Pennsylvania
and
Texas
~~~
Our
DIPSTICKS
are located in
Washington , DC !!!!

Any Questions?
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gerry1 · May 14, 2007

Bonjour mesdames et messieurs!!How bees everyone today? I've been on a diet and have lost 20 of the 35 lbs. I gained after I quit smoking. I'm down to a 34 waist and should fit back into my 32s in a few more weeks. Mees happy!

onya · May 14, 2007

A blonde was driving through the country one fine summers day and She noticed however, that there was another blonde in a canoe that was in the middle of a field.... This blonde seemed to be rowing for for her very life.

Outraged by this apparent act of stupidity, the other blonde alighted from her vehicle and yelled out....…”it’s blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad reputation, and I should come on over and whip your butt”. The blonde then reflected for a moment upon her words, and then added .... “lucky for you I can’t swim”

ireland · May 14, 2007

AFTERNOON

BELIEVE IT OR NOT

May 14, 1939: A 5-Year-Old Becomes Youngest Mother on Record
Tony Long Email 05.14.07 | 2:00 AM

1939: Lina Medina becomes the youngest confirmed mother in recorded medical history, delivering a son at the age of 5.

The Peruvian child delivered a 5-pound, 8-ounce boy via caesarean section; her small pelvis made it impossible for the baby to pass through the birth canal. In a detailed report of the case, Dr. Edmundo Escomel described the girl’s early sexual maturity. Lina had her first menstrual cycle when she was only eight months old; her breasts were almost completely developed by the time she was 4.

Lina’s condition, known as precocious puberty, was an extreme case, so much so that the story was dismissed as a hoax by many. But doctors X-rayed the fetus’ skeleton in utero and provided a picture of Lina, taken late in her pregnancy. The photograph, shot in profile, proves not only the pregnancy but shows the extent of her sexual development.

The baby, a boy named Gerardo, was healthy. He grew up normally (his mother’s true identity was revealed to him when he was 10) but died at 40 from a bone-marrow disease.

Paternity remains a mystery. Lina’s father was arrested on suspicion of rape and incest but the charges were later dropped for lack of evidence. Lina, who is still living, has never divulged a name and, indeed, may not know.
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http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2007/05/dayintech_0514

Ripper · May 14, 2007

Well, that's just completely and utterly f*cked up! Some of the sh!t that goes on in this world amazes me beyond beleif..

:X

gerry1 · May 14, 2007

@Ripper ... no use pretending; we all know you're the father

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