Where Did All The Old Timers Go, A Public Meeting Place For Open Discussion

Now that's funny right there I don't care who you are!!!! hehehe.

....gm

 

good afternoon all,
since this board the safety valve is almost dead
i will try to resuscitate those that are unconsciousness...with a joke post...

resuscitate
to revive somebody or be revived from unconsciousness or apparent death




Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

**************************

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

**************************

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
"Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"

**************************

On another Septic Tank Truck:
"We're #1 in the #2 business"

**************************

At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."

**************************

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

**************************

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."

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On a Church's Bill board:
"7 days without God makes one weak."

**************************

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."

**************************

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

**************************

At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

**************************

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

**************************

In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

**************************

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

**************************

At an Optometrist's Of fice:

"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

**************************

On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."

**************************

On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

**************************

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."


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Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

**************************

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

**************************

At the Electric Company :
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."

**************************

In a Restaurant window :
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

**************************

In the front yard of a Funeral Home :
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

**************************

At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank heaven for little grills."

**************************

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."

 

How about this one:

Ireland did not kick the bucket;
He just turned a little pail.

 

afternoon gerry1

You receive an access violation error and the system may appear to become unresponsive when you try to install an update from Windows Update or from Microsoft Update................
927891

http://support.microsoft.com/kb/927891

 

Whats loud and blind?

Stevie wonder answering the iron.

 

[bold]Quote by ireland[/bold]

Well whats the tile of this thread?

Answers:

1.) We got older, and more tired.

2.) Our Vision took a sh!t.

3.) Our memory has gotten worse, and we have an awful time trying to remember; what forum, what post, what thread, and who pissed off who, and are we pissed off at someone on that forum?

4.) We are old and the younger members are taking over. Let them do the frickin arguing. Anyone gets out of hand, , , send in the "old" guys to calm the situation, in this case, , ,"Delete Member" key is easier!!

5.)Actually, , , , , ,we just remembered life is too short, and we spend our time trying to remember where the little blue pill is so we can have some fun of our own!!



*SO THEIR__________!!


LMAO!!
{;o)

 

hello jaybo.....

I've sure gotten old. I've had 2 By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.

But.....Thank God, I still have my Tennessee driver's license!


*(so their...........


As J was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "J, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!"


*(so their again...........

 

@Billyboy ... LOL! I love such jokes and I have a ton of them but if memory serves, we've had complaints about them in the past because they're not politically correct LOL!

 

Tehee, i couldnt resist

 

billybob Science Exams

QUOTE billybob
Tehee, i couldnt resist

IRELAND,ME TOOOO


Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to
flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature
hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the
heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I,
O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie

Q: What does "varicose" mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome .

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight

 

L
M
A
O

 

NOW that isn't resent is it???? hehehe.

sent you a PM mate!!

....gm

 

I loved these ones thanxs mate Made me LMAO

 

This be my 1200th aD post...

 

Yeah, and Thank God I still have me Pennsylvania Drivers license!! LOL!!

I see ye have been talking to me bride about the I-280 incident!

ROTFLMAO!!!

{)

*(so their again...........backatcha!!!!!!!!

SROTFLMAO!
{)

 

I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.


Too many blue pills huhhh?

LMAO!!

 

Not burned out yet?????

{;o)