Where Did All The Old Timers Go, A Public Meeting Place For Open Discussion

now u know gm

 

@gurnard

Yup, that's me-one ornery goat! LMAO

 

He said...

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time
an egg.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she
won't drink from my glass!

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy
negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home. "I went over.
Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you
going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you
put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the
roaches hang themselves.

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, "Why?"
He said, "Because you came home early."

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the
Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; she called me from Chicago
last night.

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had
anything to play with.

 

NC Land here, Roadrunner

 

zoomtown here. dropped Roadrunner

 

@CincyRob,
I see your download speed is inspired by your Reds, drop really quick, eh? Sorry, couldn't resist that one.

 

blivet I like you. Any one that slaps poor little cincyrob around deserves a helping hand. hehehe. ;P @ rob!!!

....gm

 

dang let me pick myself up off the mat. i thought my DL rate was pretty damn good. as well as the upload rate.. now being serious here is my rate bad???

If you look at the reds record since the new Interm manager they have the best record in baseball????? Hmmmmmm
allways a bright spot in everything..lol

hey greenie is your boys from lubbuck gonna win it all?(llws)

 

You guys are such meanies!!

 

Since you're from Philly (live there now....) shouldn't it be: Yous guys!!! lol.

@cincyrob,
I don't know buddy. It would be nice to have the LLWS champs from my home town. I'm proud for just how far they've made it so far!!

...gm

 

Black and White
(Under age 40? You won't understand.)
You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
Pull a chair up to the TV set,
"Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet."

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread Mayo on the same cutting
board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food
poisoning.



My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw
sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown
paper bag, not in ice packed coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli



Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a
pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.



The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a
pager was the school PA system.



We all took gym, not PE. And risked permanent injury with a pair of high
top Ked's (only worn in gym)instead of having cross-training athletic shoes
with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any
injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we
are now.



Flunking gym was not an option... Even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be
much harder than gym.


Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and
staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.



We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we
had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.


I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed
to be proud of myself.



I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station,
Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.



Oh yeah... And where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that
bee sting? I could have been killed!



We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction
sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out t he 48-cent bottle of
Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did)
and then we got our butt spanked.



Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49
bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor
for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.



We didn't act up at the neighbor's h ouse either because if we did, we got
our butt spanked there and then we got butt spanked again when we got home.



I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on
the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she
could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for
being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.



To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were
from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?



We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were
obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't even notice that
the entire country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive?



LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA, AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T- SORRY FOR
WHAT YOU MISSED. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING



Pass this to someone and remember that life's most simple pleasures are
very often the Best.

 

We had a tree house and one night trying to get out of it at night I was up in it and Johnny was on the ground. I had the flashlight and I dropped it to him, with beam down so he could see it. By the time it turned battery(heavy) side down, it broke Johnny's front tooth clean off. I felt pretty bad.

 

The worst part about falling down and scraping a knee by Grannys house was the peroxide and scrubbing with the fels naptha soap and then the dreaded methiolade [don't remember the spelling] but the best was for the whooping cough the shot of whiskey and a glass of Vernors.Back then anger management was Grand Pa spankin the ass off us.And then the repeat when Dad caught wind of it.Ah yes the detention time after school and the nooners club at lunch time to help make up the detention time. Chris

 

holy crap! ddp had a mom!?!?!

master techie, i thought you were built in a factory somewhere, maybe by crazed former nazi scientists in an attempt to revive the third reich with a creature that could control all the computers on earth.


my view of reality has just been shaken. >.>

 

My Favorite childhood horror story, Girlfriend in High school's older brother broke his arm riding a dirt bike, came into see his mom to take him to the hospital, she made him take a bath before she took him in. Priceless.

 

ireland, I dont think they really got it.

 

LMAO locoeng!

hehe.

So what, your trying to tell me it doesnt exist?