Where Did All The Old Timers Go, A Public Meeting Place For Open Discussion

Well, as much pain as it might have caused, it is far better that you landed on your back, than on your frontside. Not being able to run for a year, pales in comparison than not being able to......

 

Rofl Loco, you think ddp would remember the Wollemi Pine? (prn:WOL-EM-EYE)

http://www.rbgsyd.nsw.gov.au/science/hot_science_topics/wollemi_pine

It's been around for some time, lets say 200 million years...give or take a year or two!

They said...

LOL ...Yep that sounds like our ddp alright.

 

Maybe it IS a girl!

 

What A Coincidence...

A chicken farmer went into a local tavern and took a seat at the bar next to a woman patron and orders a glass of champagne.

The woman perks up and says " How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"

He turned to her and said, "What a coincidence. This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating."

"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!" says the woman.

"What a coincidence." says the man.

They clinked glasses and he asked, "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynaecologist told me I'm pregnant!"

"What a coincidence." says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile."

"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"

"I switched cocks." he replied.

"What a coincidence," she said.

 

Motorist admits speeding at 172mph

A motorist has pleaded guilty to driving at 172mph on a rural A-road, making him the fastest speeder ever caught in Britain.

Tim Brady, 33, was caught in a random speed check on the A420 near Abingdon, Oxfordshire, driving a �98,000 3.6-litre Porsche 911 Turbo in January this year.

The current highest speed to result in a conviction is 156mph.

link to story
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=paSpeeding_fri19_speeding_motorist&show_article=1

 

IN PIX ABOVE IS A REAL PIX OF BILLYBOB...
HES SO CUTE WOULD YE LIKE TO TAKE HIM TO YE HOME AND SUPPORT HIM ?

 

@greensman:

I'm surprised you knew that LOL! How did you know that? It's very "South Philly" where absolutely everybody speaks like Sylvester Stallone! At least one can understand a south philly accent though. There is one part of philly in particular where speech should come with subtitles ... a rather extreme accent where I can only compare it to english and cockney. I wish there was a way to imitate it here!

@billyboy ... I've got the perfect girl for you:

 

How udderly ridiculous!

 

HAAAA I'm slapping my knee garmoon how clever lol

 

If that was my girl she'd be getting a lift home in a hambulance....


After taking her to the moooovies

 

@billyboy ....Booooo! You're as bad as I am with your corny jokes!

@Ireland...those be some very big teats on them bovines (now I'm not talking dirty; I'm no farmer but I believe that's what those danglers are called!)

Some city cows!

 

cornier the better

 

Law of Economics:
The amount needed for the present emergency is always in direct proportion to
the amount you had saved for a vacation.


Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or
you'll have to pee.


Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.


Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of
your act.


Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.


Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the
very next morning you will have a flat tire.


Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move
faster than the one you are in now (works every time).


Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring


Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are
with someone you don't want to be seen with.


Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.


Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.


Law of the Theater:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.


Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do
something which will last until the coffee is cold.


Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.


Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor
covering are directly correlate d to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.


Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.


Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about


Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.


Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.


Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.


Doctors' Law:
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor. By the time you
get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

 

I don't know what happened to the Old Timers, but all this corn has to keep everyone wondering. LOL Don't get me wrong. Old Timers and the Black Kettle are the 2 best threads on AD. LOL

 

EDIT
IRELAND

 

"It's that time of year to take our annual MEMBERS test."

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As
we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it,
you
lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of
intelligence.

There are only 5 questions, so don't get all excited and confused yet.

Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.
The spaces between the question and answers below are there so you don't see
the
correct answers until you've made your answer.


OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.



1. What do you put in a toaster?















Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," maybe you should give up now and
do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to
Question



2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?














Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," maybe you shouldn't even
attempt to answer the next question. Your brain is apparently over-stressed
and
may even overheat.

Content yourself with reading more appropriate literature such as Auto
World. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.



3. If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made
from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks, and a black
house
is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?


















Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks,"
why are you still reading this?

If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.



4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over
Germany (If you will recall , Germany at the time was politically divided
into
West Germany and East Germany ) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail.
The
pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on
a
crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so
and
the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between
East
Germany and West Germany Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany,
West Germany, or no man's land"?


















Answer: You don't bury survivors.

If you said ANYTHING else, you're in real bad shape and for your own
sake you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the
next
question.



5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to
Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six

people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon , two people get
off
and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In
Swansea,
three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get
off
and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the n ame of
the
bus driver?



















Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!



Don't you remember your own name? Or have you forgotten it was YOU
driving the BUS!!



Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better than
you.

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions! !!

The U.S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it.
You
have to catch up with it yourself.
-Benjamin Franklin

 

What do calves drink?

 

Answer to #4, the survivors get buried under a pile of paperwork and offers from ambulance chasers.