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Where Did All The Old Timers Go, A Public Meeting Place For Open Discussion

Discussion in 'Safety valve' started by ireland, Mar 26, 2006.

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  1. creaky

    creaky Moderator Staff Member

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    Afternoon all, i've been out getting some exercise half the day so got a shedload of replies to catch up on. However it's good to take the odd break from the net/forums, feel like a couch potato sometimes :p
     
  2. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    good morning to ye all..........

    Help! I'm Cold


    A drunk stumbles out of a bar and he needs to piss, so he makes his way into the cemetery behind the tavern. He walks right to the edge of a freshly dug grave, loses his balance, and falls in. There's a puddle of water in the hole, and he spends the rest of the night yelling, 'Help me, I'm cold! Someone help me, I'm cold!' At closing time, another drunk walks behind the bar to piss, and hears the noise. He gets to the open grave, looks down and says, 'Of course you're cold, you son-of-a-bitch. You kicked all the dirt off



    Do You Go to Church?

    A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.

    The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

    My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."

    Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"

    He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service.



    Pee In Church

    A mother took her little boy to church.

    While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee."

    The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper'."

    The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, "Daddy, I have to whisper."

    The Father looked at him and said, "Okay, why don't you whisper in my ear."
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2006
  3. gerry1

    gerry1 Guest

    LMAO! I love religion jokes! I hope everyone is well; I have to go play receptionist again....damn, what I won't do for a comp day!
     
  4. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    gerry1 a new sig to fit ye job...
    [​IMG]
     
  5. greensman

    greensman Regular member

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    Evenin to all.

    ireland you do good work and you must have to much time on your hands or you don't sleep. lol.


    .......c

    edit: for spellin.....
     
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2006
  6. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    Good morning..

    HAPPY NEW YEAR->2007
     
  7. greensman

    greensman Regular member

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    And morning to you too ireland. Afternoon here now tho. lol.

    Be safe and have a Happy New Year to all!!!!


    .........c
     
  8. Ripper

    Ripper Active member

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    Happy new Year all! Hope it's a good one where you are.

    :)
     
  9. saugmon

    saugmon Senior member

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    Merry New Year to All of AD!!!! Time to get TANKED up!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  10. rav009

    rav009 Active member

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    Happy new year everyone!! :-D
     
  11. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    good morning to ye all on this fine January 1st 2007 and bright sunny day in Pennsylvania,temp is 59.4f....15.2c
     
  12. creaky

    creaky Moderator Staff Member

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    good afternoon from a chilly and parky (and blustery) UK, brrrr!

    [​IMG]

    edit- oh and Happy New Year to all..
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2007
  13. Ripper

    Ripper Active member

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    Tell me about it! I'm freezing here; even with the heating on! :p

    Happy New Year people :)
     
  14. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    Last edited: Jan 1, 2007
  15. creaky

    creaky Moderator Staff Member

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    a bit too early for that methinks :)

    edit- so i changed it to a link
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2007
  16. Ripper

    Ripper Active member

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    Meh, I dunno, I don't think it's ever too early for that creaks! :p

    X)
     
  17. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    Last edited: Jan 1, 2007
  18. creaky

    creaky Moderator Staff Member

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    LOL, i saw that one, cheers ireland, but i prefer the other one you did, so i'll stick to that one, ta
     
  19. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    i will kill that one..i just posted it for the hell of it

    its history
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2007
  20. ChrisC586

    ChrisC586 Regular member

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    I guess my fortune was right Ireland starting the New Year LMAO. Chris
     
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