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Zombie Attack

Discussion in 'Safety valve' started by DeadRain, Dec 2, 2006.

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  1. DeadRain

    DeadRain Regular member

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    What would you guys do in the case of a zombie outbreak was going to happen?
     
  2. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    i would recommend you all learn from me here.
     
  3. DeadRain

    DeadRain Regular member

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    im saying where would you go, what would you use to kill the zombies and so forth.
     
  4. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    [bold]Plan One: Escape[/bold]
    the point of this plan is to escape from the zombies and get to a location they can not physically access, where you will survive, safe and supplied, while they starve or otherwise "re-die," only to emerge once they have been vanquished.

    obviously, the best case here would be to have a fully-stocked bunker out in the rural woodlands or vacant desert, waiting for you. unfortunately, most of us don't have the means for such a wonderful setup.

    so step one is to decent where you want to go. you need some place desolate, with an ample supply of attainable food and water, where you can wait out the storm.

    once you've picked your location, the next step is to gather your gear as stealthily as possible, to avoid zombie attention.

    layer your clothing, as this is the best strategy for all survival situations. start with a pack you can carry on your back, with the most essential goods, should you land in a situation where this is all that you have. the single most important tools are a well-prepared mind and a strong spirit. followed by this would be a very good, straight-blade knife, a multitool, small first aid kit, vitamins, water purification system, fire-starting material, medications, spare glasses/contact lenses, identification, money, valuable jewelry and barterable items, and so on. don't worry about a rifle; carry a moderately powerful and very reliable handgun and at least one hundred rounds of ammunition.

    next, prepare a larger back of other supplies, such as more clothing, food, toiletries, and less essential amenities what would be good to posses in your final location. add larger guns, rifles, shotguns, and plenty of ammunition to this stash.

    whatever you don't have, don't stick around too long to search for it. you'd be safest trying to pick it up in less zombified areas along the way.

    the last choice would be of a vehicle. the big mistake everyone would make here would be to go for the shiny, huge off-roader. this is a no-no. you will attract the attention of other survivors, and they will want your truck. fighting to keep what you have already gathered will only hinder your progress.

    you want something low-profile and not desirable. it needs to be reliable, but don't worry about speed. you only need to move faster than the people chasing you. cargo area, traction, and fuel economy are all important. all-wheel drive sedans (think subaru), station wagons, etc, will serve you far better in most situations than a van, big truck, or so on. seeing as the purpose of escape is to leave with more than just yourself in this scenario (survival depends on teamwork in this situation), motorcycles would not be efficient or prudent.

    conserve your supplies as best you can. keep minimal contact with the zombies as well as with other survivors. no one outside of your personal groups should be trusted.

    once you arrive at your location, secure it. fences, barbed wire, home-made land mines, booby traps, anything that would alert you of an attack. keep vehicles and other supplies on the ready, should you have to move again.

    keep the radios and tv's on, listening for any news on the zombies. if you have a generator (and you will definitely want one), keep a large supply of fuel for it. solar panels are the way to go on this one.




    [bold]Plan Two: Fight[/bold]
    the point of this plan is to prepare oneself so as to be capable and ready to have a head-on confrontation with the zombie threat, eliminating it while successfully surviving to return to a semi-normal after the event.

    odds are, if you're going to fight, you're going to be in a small group or alone. large groups will want to flee; that's the survival instinct.

    if you're going to fight, you're going to stay in a stationary location. while this means you can be tracked, this also means you can have heavy fortifications.

    chose a base of operations that is of industrial strength. you want a stone, brick, or concrete structures with few entrances/exits and no windows for at least the first two stories. if you have underground access to sewers or maintenance tunnels, or if you're near a parking garage and filling station, all the better.

    once you've picked your base of operations, you need to have the right gear on you for when you have to step outside. most private citizens don't have access to kevlar, so go with the next best thing: motorcycle gear. black leather boots, jackets, gloves, and pants are all easily sealed against the elements (meaning the zombie virus in the blood), are very tough and durable, and can help conceal you in the dark. a good, black helmet and clear visor will serve you will. you want to be well insulated from the zombie threat.

    weapons are the primary necessity. carry on you at all times a machete or blunt object (bat, oversized golf club, etc), at least one very reliable, heavy caliber pistol, and some means of distraction. fireworks, flashbangs, things along those lines. rifles and shotguns are very prudent, as well.

    once the home base has been established and you can move around the zombies in a safer manner, you need to gather other supplies. food, water, toiletries, a generator, radios, tv's, camping gear, and other means to seal your new home from the zombies and other survivors can be acquired at your local department stores.

    remark: be sure to have a good knowledge base of weapons, first aid, auto repair, and general survival to survive in this, or any other, zombie situation.

    you need several modes of transportation. bicycles, motorcycles, cars, and at least one large van are all excellent to have in your fleet. your main vehicle needs to be reinforced, the tires filled with foam to run flat, a cow-catcher welded to the front, and the glass reinforced with steel mesh. a role-cage is recommended, as is an automatic transmission and a four cylinder engine in a small car. should you break your ankle, you will still be able to drive this vehicle as it sips gas and maneuvers around barricades larger vehicles couldn't.

    use explosives to take the zombies out in groups, or sniper shots/shotgun blasts to get them when they're singled out. headshots, or utter destruction of the brain, are the only ways to stop the typical zombie, so work on your marksmanship and trust nothing with flesh.

    with luck and skillful planning, you can defeat the zombies and eliminate the threat from your area. with others like yourself operating around the world, the threat can be destroyed and a sense of normalcy will eventually return.




    does anyone want me to address anything else?
     
  5. aja1301

    aja1301 Guest

    screw zombies...the world sucks...and george bush can kiss my...well you get the idea
     
  6. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    thank you for that utterly irrelevant, useless, pointless, and stupid post.

    *reported*
     
  7. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    DeadRain and all!!!!!
    here comes the Zombie's,ye all crawl under ye beds like nice lads.... and the Zombie's will not bite ye on the arse....

    Do not let a zombie bite you! It's just like every other monster: when they bite you YOU become one with the dead,


    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2006
  8. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    the beautiful thing about zombies that they are re-animated deceased tissue. because of the decay that has taken place, they will be weaker and slower than a typical, healthy human being. overall, they are would be a fairly easy challenge to overcome.
     
  9. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    HOW TO KILL A ZOMBIE
    Almost all zombie's can be killed in the same manner, but it is'nt as simple as that. Here's how:

    NORMAL, EVERYDAY ZOMBIE'S:A good whack in the skull with a, prefrablly heavy, blunt object will do the job. But just in case, you should dismember the body too.

    VOODOO ZOMBIE'S: These zombie's are a little tougher. Total dismemberment plus the blunt object to the skull will do it. Also if you kill the person who put the zombie curse on em or if you take it off yourself, that will also stop them.

    CHEMICALLY CREATED ZOMBIE'S: These zombie's can only be killed by one known means: Electrocution. Hacking 'em up, like the other zombie's, will only slow them down, but this method can also buy you time until you find an electrical source.

    GENETICALLY ENGENEARED ZOMBIE'S:Basically anything will do it, but your best bet is to do it two or three times in a row to stop these baddies! Basically your screwed if you come face to face with even one of 'em!

    SPOOKYDEADJAMES' ZOMBIE SURVIVAL TIPS
    Hack and run. If you can slow 'em down it'll make it easier to smash their skulls-in.
    If you dropped somethin' leave it! It ain't worth it, baby.
    Do not let a zombie bite you! It's just like every other monster: when they bite you YOU become one with the dead, and i ain't talkin' you can "feel their pain" either.
    A good shotgun is allway's handy, preferablly a sawed-off, double barreled shotgun!

    THE ZOMBIE'S ORIGIN
    Zombie's have been around since the begining of time. some zombie's are normal looking. Some are horrible to look at, it all depends on what the person looked like when they were turned into a zombie.
    Some zombie's are brought to life by a "Necromancer", "Booker" or "Witch Docter". In the case of the Booker, the zombie is usually used for slavory, for all eternity (or at least till his limbs fall off, in that case what the hell's the thing good for?).
    Other times a zombie can be created by exposure to government canasters with lables like "Warning! Do not inhale!" These Zombie's can only be killed one way. Well get into that later.
    THE TYPES OF ZOMBIE'S
    Their are many types of zombie's. Here are a few and how they are created:

    NORMAL, EVERYDAY ZOMBIE'S
    These zombie's are the typical old-zombie-movie-lookin' zombies. Slow, dumb and allways on the move, These zombie's would like nothing more than to eat your tender little brain. And they'll stop at nothing to get it! The origin of these zombie's is unknown, they just seem to appear, rising from a grave or walking out of a morgue.

    VOODOO ZOMBIE'S
    These are the zombie's brought to life by a voodoo priest or Booker or just about anyone who knows how to raise the dead! They, unlike the normal zombie, are not allways dumb and slow, but they still would like to eat your brain.

    CHEMICALLY CREATED ZOMBIE'S
    These zombies are created by exposure to unknown fumes and/or a unknown chemicall spill (usually something of the government's.) They vary in strength and size and like all zombies, they have a huge appetite for living brains. These zombies are'nt as dumb as most zombies, but they tend to look the same as most.

    GENETICALLY ENGENEARED ZOMBIE'S:
    These zombie's are similer to the chemically created zombie's but they tend to be very much stronger and very much harder to kill. There appetite isn't limited to brains either, they also munch on flesh!

    THE ZOMBIE DIET
    Brains.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2006
  10. creaky

    creaky Moderator Staff Member

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    - i don't like zombie abuse, they get a raw enough deal as it is, no more zombie bashing please, they have feelings.

    i know a few, and they'll be sent round your house if you keep misbehaving
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2006
  11. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    This article has been brought to you
    by some of the less popular letters:
    V W and of course Z





    ZOMBIES, AND HOW TO KILL THEM

    A few weeks ago, a news story ran in a tabloid newspaper which described the precise details in which one might trap demons for fun and profit. This article was an outrage, especially for those people who actually have serious subscriptions to those publications (as opposed to the side of the population that ascribes the proper credit to these rags, viewing them simply as the items they were meant to be: grocery-line brain slush). Why was it an outrage? Why don’t we at the Satin Pouch allow these individuals to continue reading their tabloids, watching Sightings, and living their placid lives far from the land of lucidity? Because, as we all know, there are no demons around here. How on earth are we supposed to benefit from the trapping and selling of demons if there are none to catch? What half-witted journalist thought this would be a good idea to print? Sure, he thought, no one’s ever seen a demon before, so it shouldn’t be too difficult to dupe them into believing that they haven’t seen them simply because they are hard to find, and thus, by finding a demon, one can make a great deal of money by selling it. Hogwash! There are no demons around here, and by printing an article about capturing them, they have brutally turned our attentions away from a far more serious and pressing issue: zombies.

    These days, every idiot and their mother knows how to kill vampires, werewolves, and many other creatures of the night. However, it is the equally important -- but lesser known -- zombie that has been left in the dark. Certainly, it can be argued that vampires and werewolves are far more dangerous than zombies, but that is only when they are examined individually. A single zombie can do little but lurch around slowly and stupidly around in its unending quest for the consumption of human flesh. However, once the zombie population grows, they can become much more dangerous. This is why we must all become familiar with the how to dispose of these creatures, before we find our population overrun by legions of the undead.

    So, how do you kill a zombie? Well, the first thing you must know is that zombies are incredibly stupid and lack fine motor control, so hunting a zombie is not unlike hunting a cow. Here is a selection taken directly from Mad Isaiah Jacob’s reconstructed work, Bova Mortuum, in its fifth chapter, entitled "How to Track and Kill Your First Cow." To understand the killing of zombies, simply replace the word "cow" in the reading with the word "zombie" as you read the selection:

    Step one, find a cow. They are big and stupid and make lots of noise (look at the pictures in chapter three). Step two, walk up to the cow real quiet-like. Make sure the cow don't (sic) see you coming. Step three, point your gun at the cow’s head and pull the trigger. If the cow doesn’t die, repeat step three. Hunter’s tip: Be sure your gun is loaded.

    It’s just that simple, and with everyone following theses easy-to-read instructions, it would seem that zombies would pose little threat to us. However, there are still a few important rules of engagement that must always be heeded. Ignoring these rules may actually result in an increase in the zombie population.

    First of all, as we mentioned above, zombies should always be shot in the head. This is the quickest and easiest way to dispatch the threat. Should such a weapon not be available, the removal of the zombie’s head is the next best choice. Zombies are nothing more than decaying human bodies that have become mobile, and for some reason or another, desire to feed on the living (specifically living humans). Therefore, the structures of their bodies are weak, and you may find that items such as shovels or various other gardening tools may be all that is required to decapitate your foe. But, you must always make a clean cut on the first swing, and this should never be attempted if there is more than one zombie in your presence. If this is not possible, you must seek proper shelter and fortification against them (we will discuss this momentarily). As a rule, never waste your attacks on the body of the zombie. The brain, while still only a revived human organ, is still the primary controller of the body. Attacking the body of a zombie will only help to slow it down and reduce your supply of ammunition should you be using a firearm. The only way this attack is effective is through the thorough and complete dismemberment of the zombie, which need only be done in the most extreme cases. It is a time-consuming effort, and must be carried out with great care so as to avoid the bite of this foul creature.

    This brings us to our next subject, the zombie’s bite. Similar to the werewolf, which can pass its lycanthrope on to its victim through a bite or a scratch, so too can the zombie pass on its infection. While it is still unclear whether the infection can be passed through scratches -- due to the fact that zombies generally bite their victims, combined with the fact that zombie bodies are not held by the government for study (which we will discuss later in this article) -- it is certain that a zombie’s bite is lethal. If the zombie or zombies are able to kill an individual, he or she will invariably become a zombie themselves. If an individual is bitten by a zombie, he or she will be slowly turned into one as the infection spreads. This can last a matter of hours or days, depending on the strength of the immune system of the individual bitten, but there is no cure or treatment. The illness is characterized by lowering of body temperature, slowing of the heart rate (until it eventually stops altogether), whitening of the skin, stiffness of the muscles (brought on by early stages of rigor mortis), and puffiness of the eyes and tongue. If a member of your hunting party or one of your friends begins displaying these signs or begins to talk an awful lot about brains while refusing to eat regular food, the kindest thing to do is shoot them and bury them. Nobody ever wants to do this, but believe us when we tell you it is the best thing for everyone involved.

    Fortification. If you find yourself overwhelmed by the number of zombies, it is very important that you seek proper shelter, and not just any shelter; you must find a place that offers you everything you’ll need to maintain yourself for several weeks, possibly even several months, and which still allows for strategic destruction of the zombie horde. Usually, it’s a good idea to have a place picked out in advance, but in case you don’t, here are a few things to consider in making your decision. What will you need? A few things are obviously very important: guns, food, a strong and secure building. After that, it’s up to you. The best thing is to do is choose a building into which there is only one entrance (or very few entrances), thus allowing you to blockade the entrance and have but a single direction through which attacking zombies might come. This eliminates the possibility of most stores (which unfortunately are prime locations to secure a great deal of food), since they generally have a great number of windows. In addition, it is a good idea to have some way that you might get out of the building without going back through that entrance. This is usually more difficult, but it may become necessary if the zombies overpower your defenses and make it inside. As you know, zombies will invariably move toward any source of flesh, and so in time, you can expect that your sanctuary will be surrounded by a great number of zombies. Save your ammunition. In time, the zombies will decay and become immobile, leaving only a few fresh stragglers behind.

    Keep in mind that, should zombies overtake your city, it won’t be long before there is no electricity. While it is important to hold up somewhere that has a large supply of food, you will not be able to rely on refrigerated food for more than a couple of weeks at the most. You will need canned and dried goods, and if at all possible, some way to build a fire, should you need to heat food or keep yourselves warm. Generally speaking, places that have guns (if you do not already have any of your own) do not have food and vice versa, so it may be necessary for you to acquire transportation. Try to get something that is not very low to the ground and has a great deal of power. A full size pickup is optimal. Go where you need to go to get supplies, steal them, and then quickly get to wherever you are planning to hold up. It won’t be long before lots of people get the same idea in their heads and they all run out to grocery stores and gun shops, so get your looting done early. And avoid other people as much as possible. Take back roads or drive off-road if conditions allow. Panic-stricken people can be even more dangerous than zombies, so it is best to keep the size of your party small, and if at all possible, filled only with people you know and trust. A quick note about the weapons: be sure to get accurate, high-powered weapons such as shotguns and rifles, not handguns. This will help to assure a clean shot and a clean kill on any zombie -- or any unreasonable individual for that matter -- that should cross your path.

    One final thing to note, and this obviously does not apply to the greater proportion of the people out there, but it is important nonetheless: Do not attempt to scientifically examine the zombies. Zombies, while stupid, are incredibly patient. One small mistake or the overlooking of one loose restraint, and suddenly, you’re zombie fodder. Nothing useful can be gained from studying a zombie.

    Physiologically, they are no different from a corpse, save the fact that they are animated. They can serve no domestic purpose and there is nothing that can be done to a zombie to kill it that will not kill a normal human being, so unless you have an intense desire to become a zombie yourself (which is much less appealing than becoming a vampire, we can tell you), do not attempt to catch or restrain these creatures. Kill them. Save yourself until the infestation has passed.

    So what are you waiting for? Get out to the stores and get your guns now so that you'll be prepared when the zombies come. If you see anybody wandering around with bad skin or a limp, blow their damn heads off! You can't take any chances. I strongly recommend that you raid a military base to attain the supplies you will need. After all, why run around with rifles and shotguns when there are flamethrowers and grenade launchers to be had. I'm sure the government will understand if you borrow a few things, and if they don't, then they're probably in league with the zombies as well. You know what to do. God bless the guns of the living!
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2006
  12. DeadRain

    DeadRain Regular member

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    wow, these tut's are soooo looong!
     
  13. creaky

    creaky Moderator Staff Member

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    a clean extract from the urban dictionary - "Zombie"



    The Walking Dead. Scientific name Homo Coprophagus Somnambulus.

    A deceased human being who has partially returned to life due to undeterminable causes. The brain retains base facilities, namely gross motor function. In its near-mindless state, it grasps no remains of emotion, personality, or sensation of pain. In rare cases, some of the reanimated have reflexively preformed routine activities from their past lives.

    The rotting bodies of the undead operate on a fraction of the level at which our bodies normally function. Circulatory, respiratory, and digestive systems are unaffected by reanimation. Labored breathing, choking, and moaning are reflexive but no oxygen is carried through the blood. The nervous system functions primarily within the brain and brain stem. Sensory reception is minimal at best and seemingly unecessary in the pursuit of prey. The undead are incapable of fatigue and will persist at any cost. They will even crawl when their legs have been removed. Even if the head is removed from the body, it will continue to live. The only way to stop the reanimated is to destroy the brain. To prevent reanimation in the recently departed, decapitate the corpse and burn the body.

    The only observable action a zombie takes part in is killing living creatures, especially humans, and eating them. Many theories and speculations surround this disturbing behavior. One theory is based on the thought that reanimation is the result of a contagious infection or virus, and that the primal drive to feed will spread the disease to other host bodies. Research has shown that although the majority of zombie attacks result in fatal wounds, all corpses return to life soon after passing, regardless of cause of death. Another theory is that zombies eat the brains of the living to refuel the "un-life" giving chemical serotonin. Because digestive and circulatory systems are incapable of bringing these elements to the brain, this just cannot be true. The final speculation seems the most obvious, that the dead feed for sustenance to satiate their unnatural metabolism. But because the gut has no function in the undead, this is also false. One documented encounter claims that a zombie was unable to move due to the sheer mass of undigested flesh resting in its distended gut. The creature continued to eat even after it's gut had burst open. Studies regarding the nature of feeding have proven that zombies will try to eat when their stomachs and even jaws have been removed. One explanation offers that the walking dead are the incarnation of death itself, a mockery of life that uses the vessels of the living to carry out their dark intentions, they are the opposite of life and are driven to simply undo it.

    "When there's no more room in hell, the dead shall walk the earth."
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2006
  14. DeadRain

    DeadRain Regular member

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    where did you get that info? wikipedia?
     
  15. creaky

    creaky Moderator Staff Member

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    i just did a quick google, and found it on the 'urban dictionary'
     
  16. ireland

    ireland Active member

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  17. aja1301

    aja1301 Guest

    nice "head"
     
  18. creaky

    creaky Moderator Staff Member

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    @aja1301 - this is what's gonna happen if you don't start doing your homework and leaving the forums until you're all growed up -
    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  19. ireland

    ireland Active member

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    creaky
    see what ye done,ye is making him cry..


    [​IMG]

    and creaky
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2006
  20. creaky

    creaky Moderator Staff Member

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    too late, the little tike has been punished now
     
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