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"Anger Management"

Discussion in 'Safety valve' started by bbmayo, Mar 21, 2005.

  1. bbmayo

    bbmayo Active member

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    [bold]Anger Management[/bold]:

    When I have the occasional bad day and need to take it out on someone, I don't take it out on my loved ones anymore...

    I got the idea one day when I was sitting at my desk and remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

    A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. May I please speak with Robin Carter?"

    Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me.

    I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her.

    I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an bumhole!" and hung up.

    I wrote his number down with the word 'bumhole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an bumhole!" It always
    cheered me up.

    When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'bumhole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're
    interested in the Caller ID program?"

    He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an bumhole!"

    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

    Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.

    A couple of days later, right after calling the first bumhole, (I had his number on speed dial ), I thought I had better call the BMW bumhole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

    "Yes, it is."

    "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."

    "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said.

    "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

    "I'm home every evening after five."

    "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

    "Yes?"

    "Don, you're an bumhole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

    Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
    So, I came up with an idea. I called bumhole #1.
    "Hello." "You're an bumhole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
    "Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling
    me," he screamed.

    "Make me," I said.

    "Who are you?" he asked.

    "My name is Don Hansen."

    "Yeah? Where do you live?"

    "bumhole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."

    He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

    I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, bumhole."

    Then I called bumhole #2.

    "Hello?" he said.

    "Hello, bumhole," I said.

    He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are!"

    "You'll what?" I said.

    "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

    I answered, "Well, bumhole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 2 News about the gang war going down on West
    34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.

    There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew.

    NOW, I feel better.

    This anger management shit really works!
     
  2. ddp

    ddp Moderator Staff Member

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    shit disturber!!!!
     
  3. TWK

    TWK Member

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    bbmayo do you know who this is?
     
  4. CKY_2084

    CKY_2084 Guest

    Thats funny as hell if it were true. I think your full of shit but if not thats a good one.
     
  5. RedAnt

    RedAnt Regular member

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    All i can say to you is Keep up the good work and let the bumhole of the world beware!!!!!!!!
     
  6. bbmayo

    bbmayo Active member

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    No who are you TWK?
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2005
  7. TWK

    TWK Member

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    You don't know who I am???

    [bold]You're an bumhole!!![/bold] LOL


    Just kidding with ya bbmayo! Love that story!!!
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2005
  8. bbmayo

    bbmayo Active member

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    Yeah your the jerk off in the Beemer right??
     
  9. TWK

    TWK Member

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    Um, wrong on two counts.

    1. Got rid of the BMW and purchased an SL55 with the money from the lawsuit I won thanks to you.

    2. My ladies do that for me, the jerk off thing as you mentioned.

    LOL
     
  10. bbmayo

    bbmayo Active member

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    Ha!! You changed your number to I see.. I was going to give you another call, but you changed your number. Thats alright I have my ways to get a hold of you ;-)

    Give me an hour.. hehehehehehhhe :)
     
  11. bbmayo

    bbmayo Active member

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    OK so it took me less than an hour. You should really guard your PC a little better :)

    From your posting times and the packet watch I have been running, I have got this info:

    You are using an Anonymous HTTP Proxy of address 146.121.43.190

    Further investigation shows that as the primary anonymous address used by a program called "Steganos Internet Anonymity".

    Packet tracing from that point led me back to so-7-0.hsa2.USAVA23.level7.com/log2

    Suspecting you did not remove the subscribe request from your postings, a packet trace gave me a Name.

    Further watching told me you were using Comcast as your service provider.

    So, T. W. K****ck of Richmond, VA on Comcast.net...
    I got you NOW.

    Oh, you may be interested to know, I am going to send some officers over there soon as I put some kiddie porn links in your system :)
     
  12. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    hey, bbmayo, i'm curious how poor my security is...would you mind running a trace like that on me? thanks in advance should you choose to; if not, thanks anyway.
     
  13. CJC

    CJC Regular member

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    Me too, me too.... :)

    Come on :)

    CJC
     
  14. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    don't think it's gonna happen, corey. lol, that was a joke...didn't oriphus do it before, though, to some smart-assed newb? i wonder if anyone around here could do that kind of trace...*shakes* we must fear them! lol
     
  15. CJC

    CJC Regular member

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    I bet i could....

    Ok, Aus.... Is a Dialup user..... using AOL......

    :)

    CJC
     
  16. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    LOL..yeah...that's a hard one :p
     
  17. venomX05

    venomX05 Regular member

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    I am not sure if it was the same person, but I think it was drchips who did that, don't know if those names are one in the same.

    Can't remember the thread though. But it was great.
     
  18. ScubaBud

    ScubaBud Regular member

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  19. geestar20

    geestar20 Active member

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    I miss -drchips- I wish he would come back...maybe in due time.
     
  20. Auslander

    Auslander Senior member

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    hopefully
     

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