Where Did All The Old Timers Go, A Public Meeting Place For Open Discussion

Q: how many men does it take to open a can of beer?

A: none it should already be open by the time she brings it to you

3 advantages of getting a £50 note tatooed on your penis:
1. You can play with your money.
2. You can see your money grow.
3. Your woman can blow as much money as she wants.

Every Time a Fly Drops Six Inches
There was a fly hovering six inches above a pond. There was a fish in the pond that said, "If that fly dropped six inches, I could get it." A bear was behind the fish and he said, "If that fly dropped six inches, the fish would get the fly, and I would get the fish." A hunter was behind the bear and he said, "If that fly dropped six inches, the fish would get the fly, the bear would get the fish, and I would get the bear." A mouse happened to be behind the hunter, and he said, "If that fly dropped six inches, the fish would get the fly, the bear would get the fish, the hunter would get the bear, and I would get the piece of cheese in the hunter's back pocket." There was a cat behind the mouse and he said, "If that fly dropped six inches, the fish would get the fly, the bear would get the fish, the hunter would get the bear, the mouse would get the cheese, and I would get the mouse." So the fly dropped six inches. The fish got the fly, the bear got the fish, the hunter got the bear, the mouse got the cheese, and the cat went for the mouse but missed and landed in the pond. What's the moral of this story?

 

Mama
Maria just got married, and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you." So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest.

Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Maria", says the mother, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."

So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Maria ran downstairs to her mother.

"Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants, and he's got hairy legs!" "Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!"

"Stay here and stir the pasta", says the mother. "This is a job for Mama!"

 

What 3 words does a woman not want to hear when having sex?

Darling I'm home!

On a given night, 2 deathrow inmates are scheduled to be electrocuted on old sparky. While one execution is in progress, the pastor admisnisters to the other condemned man in his cell.
"Don't worry my son", says the pastor, "as soon as the high voltage reaches your brain, it numbs all your senses, so you won't feel a thing."
Suddenly some horrible screams are heard throughout the entire cell block. The pastor immediately ask one of the guard "What is all this screaming about?"
Not to worry pastor, we had a power failure, so we're finishing the first execution "by candles".

Moving Time
Husband and wife, moving house and are starting to box everything up. The husband finds a box under the bed, pulls it out and looks inside, where he finds two eggs and about ?8,000. He approaches the wife and asks what the eggs are for, and she replies, "Every time I cheat on you I put an egg in the box". So he says, "That's alright, you've only cheated on me twice." Then he asks what the money is for. The wife replies, "Every time I get a dozen I sell them!"


Biggest Jerks
Morty was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge.

He turned to his wife with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."

His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear!"



Why do all women like hunters?

Because they go deep in the bush.
shoot twice.
and eat what they shoot.



Barbie
A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. "How much is that Barbie in the window?", he asks the shop assistant.

In a manner she responds, "Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00. "

The guy asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others ?

"That's obvious," the assistant states, "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture... "

 

They're Homeschoolers! We live 20 miles one way from the school. Wouldn't work. I am in charge of snow days but I can't go overboard 'cause we have lots of snow during snow season so I only let them off when school is out in town.

Tranquash, that was forking funny! I am still giggling.

 

AnyDVD 6.1.2.8 beta
For experienced users to test:
http://sandbox.slysoft.com/beta/SetupAnyDVD6128.exe

6.1.2.8 2007 03 01
- New: Added Blu-Ray support.
- Change: I/O on 64bit OS (WinXP64/Vista64) moved to kernel mode
- Updated ElbyCDIO layer, fixes "cannot get exclusive access" in
CloneDVD and CloneCD under XP64 and Vista64
- Change: ElbyCDIO uses less CPU cycles under Windows XP and Vista
- Change: After using CloneCD or CloneDVD, AnyDVD does no longer
rescan the disc under XP64 and Vista64.
- Fix: HD DVDs without iHD menus did not work
- Some minor fixes and improvements
- Updated languages

Please note that HD-DVD support and Blu-Ray support are available only for Anydvd HD customers. Anydvd customers will continue to enjoy the benefits Anydvd has always provided.

 

GOOD night ALL

 

GOOD morning to all.....

Neph,
COOL new sig.

Couldn't pass this one up since it is from a Texas gentlemen.......lol

Pick up line.....

A Texas gentleman asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an
attractive woman.

The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the
gentleman seated over there," indicating the sender.

She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at the man, and
decided to send a reply note to the man. The waiter, who was lingering
for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read:
"For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your
garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants."

After reading the note, the Texan decided to compose one of his own in
return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him
to return this to the woman.

It read:
"For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600, a Porsche Turbo, Toyota Prius and Matrix, in my garage, beautiful homes in Aspen , Colorado and Miami and a 10,000 acre ranch in Texas .There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account.
But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut three inches off. Just send the bottle back!!!

 

GOOD MORNING TO YE ALL A HELL OF A GOOD READ........


ONE HELL OF A VERY VERY VERY VERY LONG READ,AS IF I WAS YE I WOULD READ THIS BECAUSE OF THE WAY THE RIAA PULLS THE CRAP ON US..

THE ARTICLE IS HERE IN ITS FULL TEXT..
http://p2pnet.net/story/11499

FOR US RAG TAGS THE TOTAL ARTICLE IS POSTED IN THE LINK ON THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST

RIAA expert Jacobson: full text

p2pnet.net news:- Below is a break-out of the deposition given by RIAA expert witness Dr Doug Jacobson to Ray Beckerman, acting for Marie Lindor in UMG v. Lindor.

Lindor, a Brooklyn, New York, home health aide, is a self-confessed computer fool who doesn't know one end of a PC from another.

But according to Warner Music, EMI, Vivendi Universal and Sony BMG, the members of the Big 4 music cartel, she's an illegal online distributor of their copyrighted music.

"Now I ask the tech community to review this all-important transcript, and bear witness to the shoddy 'investigation' and 'junk science' upon which the RIAA has based its litigation war against the people," Lindor's lawyer, Ray Beckerman, told p2pnet.

"The computer scientists among you will be astounded that the RIAA has been permitted to burden our court system with cases based upon such arrant and careless nonsense."

This is probably the first example of a case in which members of Net communities, notably people who post on slashdot and Groklaw, actively helped a lawyer frame the questions he needed to ask and, "Were deeply grateful to the community for reviewing our request, for giving us thoughts and ideas, and for reviewing other readers' responses," Beckerman says.

This document was created by hand, so any mistakes are probably ours.

If you're a techie and you have any thoughts on this, Beckerman would like to hear from you. Contact him at rbeckerman[at]anfeliu.com.

http://

 

The Monks

A man's car broke down as he was driving past a beautiful old monastery. He walked up the drive and knocked on the front door. A monk answered, listened to the man's story and graciously invited him to spend the night.
The monks fed the man and led him to a tiny chamber in which to sleep.
The man thanked the monks and slept serenely until he was awakened by a strange and beautiful sound.

The next morning, as the monks were repairing his car, he asked about the sound that had woke him. "We're sorry," the monks said.
"We can't tell you about the sound. You're not a monk."

The man was disappointed, but eager to be gone, so he thanked the monks for their kindness and went on his way. During quiet moments afterward, the man pondered the source of the alluring sound. Several years later the man happened to be driving in the same area.

He stopped at the monastery on a whim and asked admittance. He explained to the monks that he had so enjoyed his previous stay, he wondered if he might be permitted to spend another night under their peaceful roof. The monks agreed, and so the man stayed with them again.

Late that night, he heard the strange beautiful sound. The following morning he begged the monks to explain the sound. The monks gave him the same answer as before. "We're sorry. We can't tell you about the sound. You're not a monk."

By now the man's curiosity had turned to obsession. He decided to give up everything and become a monk, for that was the only way he could learn about the sound. He informed the monks of his decision and began the long and arduous task of becoming a monk. Seventeen years later, the man was finally established as a true member of the order.


When the celebration ended, he humbly went to the leader of the order and asked to be told the source of the sound. Silently, the old monk led the new monk to a huge wooden door. He opened the door with a golden key. That door swung open to reveal a second door of silver, then a third of gold and so on until they had passed through twelve doors, each more magnificent than the last.

The new monk's face was awash with tears of joy as he finally beheld the wondrous source of the beautiful mysterious sound he had heard so many years before...
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But, I can't tell you what it was. You're not a monk

 

One day a little boy woke up and sat down at the table expecting breakfast. However, his mother says, "You don't get any breakfast until you do your chores."---

A little pissed off, the boy goes out to do his chores. When he goes to milk the cow, he kicks it. When he goes to get eggs he kicks a chicken, and when he goes to feed the pigs, he kicks a pig.

When the little boy sits down his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "Where is the bacon, eggs and milk?" asks the little boy. His mother replies, "I saw you kick the cow, so you don't get any milk; I saw you kick a chicken so you don't get eggs; and I saw you kick a pig so you don't get any bacon!"

Just as she finishes saying this, the boy's father comes down the stairs and kicks the cat. The little boy looks up at his mother and asks, "Do you want to tell him, or should I?"



In the butcher's shop
It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.
He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home he told his mother.
The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"

 

Freezing to death
Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
"I froze to death," says the second.
"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"
"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died." The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.

"What do you mean?" asks the first man.


"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."



The brilliant mathematician
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:

"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband"
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:
"Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."

 

good morning,i is to make ye happy as i have some work to do today.
like i is installing a new a/c circuit breaker pannel in my home..
will be with out a/c juice for 5 to 6 hours.or more....

so do carry on today with out me..i can see the smiles on ye !!!!!

 

Good luck with that Ireland

 

please read this

RIAA's student extortion letter

p2pnet.net news:- "We urge you to consult with an attorney immediately to advise you on your rights and responsibilities."

"I hope the universities will ... assist their students in finding out what their true legal rights are."

The first quote comes from Donald J Kelso who workes for Holmes Roberts & Owen, a law firm acting for the Big 4 music cartel's RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) as the latter tries to extort American students into adding to its sue 'em all war chest, doing its and HRO's work for them, and incriminate themselves, all at the same time.

The second comes from New York lawyer Ray Beckerman who represents some of the RIAA's victims. His remark was in a comment post to p2pnet's Wednesday story which kicks off:

"If you're a p2p, file-sharing college student, here's your chance to volunteer your name, address and other personal details to the Big 4 record labels so they won't have to actually go looking for you themselves."

With that in mind, the West Virginia Herald-Dispatch yesterday carried an interesting item by Justin McElroy who says 20 Marshall University students have received blackmail letters from Warner Music, EMI, Vivendi Universal and Sony BMG's RIAA.

"If the RIAA goes after the students directly, we will have no choice than to give them the names," the Herald-Dispatch has Marshall's Jan Fox saying.

The story goes on:

Though the threat is clearly laid out, the music industry representatives have still left several questions unanswered.

For instance, they decline to admit the average amount of a settlement -- though most estimates put it at around $3,000. The group also isn't saying why some schools were chosen over others. Fox, however, has her own theories.

"I would guess it's name recognition," Fox said. "["We Are Marshall"] has brought us all kinds of things, and one of those is name recognition. They want a publicly-displayed university that other schools are like. You've got all these other smaller and medium-sized schools, and if they think it's only the big schools they go after, they're not going to take it seriously. These are scare tactics."

Whatever the methodology, it's hard to argue that for a college student living on Ramen Noodles, $3,000 can be a very scary sum.

As p2pnet noted recently, this latest example of RIAA extortion is more than vaguely reminiscent of the failed Clean Slate program the RIAA tried on between September, 2003, and April, 2004".

Below is the Herald-Dispatch letter. We've posted a copy here as well.

February 28, 2007
Re: Notification of Copyright Infringement Claims

CASE ID#

Dear Sir/Madam:

We have asked your Internet Service Provider to forward this letter to you in advance of our filing a lawsuit against you in federal court for copyright
infringement. We represent a number of large record companies, including EMI Recorded Music, SONY BMG MUSIC ENTERTAINMENT, Universal Music Group and Warner Music Group, as well as all of their subsidiaries and affiliates ('Record Companies'), in pursuing claims of copyright infringement against individuals who have illegally uploaded and downloaded sound recordings on peer-to-peer networks.

We have gathered evidence that you have been infringing copyrights owned by the Record Companies. We are attaching to this letter a sample of the sound recordings you were found distributing via the AresWarezUS (Ares) peer-topeer [sic] network. In total, you were found distributing 321 audio files, a substantial number of which are sound recordings controlled by the Record Companies.

The reason we are sending this letter to you in advance of filing suit is to give you the opportunity to settle these claims as early as possible. If you contact us within the next twenty (20) calendar days, we will offer to settle the claims for a significantly reduced amount compared to what we will offer to settle them for after we file suit or compared to the judgment amount a court may enter against you. If you are interested in resolving this matter now, please contact our Settlement Information Line at 913-234-8181 or, alternatively, you may settle this matter immediately online at www.p2plawsuits.com, using the CASE ID# that appears at the top of this letter.

In deciding whether you wish to settle this matter, here are some things you should consider:

* The Copyright Act imposes a range of statutory damages for copyright infringement. The minimum damages under the law is $750 for each Page 2 copyrighted recording that has been infringed ('shared'). The maximum damage award can be substantially more. In addition to damages, you may also be responsible for paying the legal fees we incur in order to pursue these claims, and are subject to having an injunction entered against you prohibiting you from further infringing activity.

* preserve evidence that relates to the claims against
you. In this case, that means, at a minimum, the entire library of recordings that you have made available for distribution as well as any recordings you
have downloaded, need to be maintained as evidence. Further, you should not attempt to delete the peer-to-peer programs from your system - though you must stop them from operating. For information on how to do this, you may visit www.musicunited.org.

This is a serious matter and to the extent you have any questions, we strongly encourage you to contact us to ask those questions. Finally, if you would like more information regarding music downloading/file sharing and peer-to-peer networks, please visit www.p2plawsuits.com.

IF WE DO NOT HEAR FROM YOU WITHIN TWENTY (20) CALENDAR DAYS FROM THE DATE OF THIS LETTER, THEN WE WILL FILE SUIT AGAINST YOU IN FEDERAL COURT.

We are not your lawyers, nor are we giving you legal advice. We urge you to consult with an attorney immediately to advise you on your rights and
responsibilities.

Sincerely,
Donald J. Kelso
This might be a good time to think about making the March Boycott the RIAA campaign, permanent. And lawyers representing RIAA victims, students or otherwise, might also like to check out the transcript from Beckerman's deposition of an RIAA 'expert'.

Stay tuned.
http://p2pnet.net/story/11515














It's March! RIAA boycott month!

p2pnet.net news:- It's March 1 and that means it's the month for NOT buying anything put out by the people who pay for the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) or any of the other Big 4 alphabet sue 'em all organizations around the world.

read it all here
http://forums.afterdawn.com/thread_view.cfm/182/322699#2871412

 

GOOD morning to all......

ireland do please be careful. LOL. I installed a new breaker panel a few months ago and managed not to shock me or burn the house down. LOL. I had to install a 220 outlet for a new LARGE A/C window unit. Can't afford to go with central air right now. Ain't got the extra $3000-$5000.

Enjoy ya'lls day.......

....gm

 

boy this site is slow,
good night


As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.

The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again.
She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.

Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.


At the third red light, the same thing happens again.


All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"



When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.


When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde.


He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says...


"Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Ohio and I'm driving the
SALT TRUCK!"

 

>> be careful what you say lol
>> A 5-yr old girls first job

>> Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed
>>between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that
>>will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we
>>give a child the gift of our time.
>>
>>
>>
>> A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One
>>day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the
>>empty lot.
>>
>>
>>
>> The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an
>>interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of
>>each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew,
>>all of them 'gems-in-the-rough,' more or less, adopted her as a
>>kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with
>>them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little
>>jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
>>
>>
>>
>> At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a
>>pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home
>>to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars 'pay'
>>she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
>>When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally
>>impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very
>>own pay check at such a young age.. The little girl proudly
>>replied, 'I worked last week with a real construction crew building
>>the new house next door to us.'
>>
>>
>>
>> 'Oh my goodness gracious,' said the teller, 'and will you be
>>working on the house again this week, too?'
>>
>> The little girl replied, 'I will, if those assholes at Home
>>Depot ever deliver the fuckin' sheet rock...'
>>
>>
>>
>> Kind of brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?

 

@aabbccdd, LMAO.... that was too cute....

 

@aabbccdd
I had to send that one to my friends...